This Isn't What We Meant
by scarlett2112
Summary: Dancing with heartbreak is the strangest thing. It's like playing with fire, you know you'll get burnt but you are still captivated by the flickering flame and the magnetic heart.
1. Chapter 1

_**Welcome to my new story. I've been chomping at the bit to post it. This one is dark too but in a different way than 'Edge of Thorns'.**_

 _ **This Isn't What We Meant:**_

 _ **Chapter One: 'Handful of Rain' by Savatage.**_

* * *

The sky is gray and thick with fog. Rain is coming down in sheets hindering Elena's ability to drive. Bound and determined to get to him, she's certain that neither hell nor God himself better mess with her right now. When the car windows start to fog up, she switches on the defroster, breathing a little easier when they start to clear. Rain drops are pummeling her windshield, big drops, making it necessary to keep the wipers on high. Before she can do anything, her car starts to hydroplane. Her hands are gripping the steering wheel so hard that along with her white knuckles, her fingers are tingling. Yet somehow she manages to keep her vehicle on the blacktop.

Finally her exit comes into view so she slows down and turns off of the interstate and onto the county road that leads her back to him. As she gets closer and closer the rain starts to let up in its voracity but it's still coming down steadily. When she sees the sign for the place, she turns onto the long road, finally eyeing the foreboding structure that looms in the distance. With fog shrouding the top and perimeter, the building looks that much more dark and unwelcoming.

She parks her car, reaches for her umbrella and dashes into the building as fast as her feet will carry her. After going through security, she's escorted to a room. She watches the clock, minute by dreadfully long minute, her frustration growing with each tick. Bored with the monotony of it all, she finally gets up. Walking over to the window, she presses her palm against the shatterproof glass, watching as each rain drop strikes and trails down the glass.

Looking off into the distance, she eyes another approaching storm. Lightning is streaking across the sky in a haphazard show of light followed by roaring claps of thunder. The cacophony of sound, rain, thunder and wind form a symphony of sorts, reminding her of Disney's Peter and the Wolf. Every time, she makes the two hour trek, she's certain that it'll be the day that she finally breaks though his girded steel walls. And yet every time she goes home, her vision is blurred by tears.

Feeling a chill, she runs her hands up and down her arms. It's the same sensation she feels whenever he's near. She turns around at the same time he's led inside, his bright orange prison garb an ugly contrast to her once bright husband. She watches him wearily as he sits down, his familiar downcast look clouding his features. His shoulders are slumped and as usual, he looks like he's a million miles away, not physically but emotionally. She attempts a smile but it fades as quickly as it comes.

Sometimes she wonders why he hasn't forbidden her from coming or taken her off his approved visitors list. Whatever the reason, she's grateful beyond measure. He's the reason she breathes, the love of her life, and yet they find themselves separated by concrete walls, bars on windows and razor wired perimeters. Sucking in breath, it takes every ounce of strength she has to fight back her own tears at his rejection.

Even though he's given up on himself, she will never give up on him. Never. She loves him too much to even consider it. Her parents didn't raise a coward. Pulling the chair away from the table, the sound of the legs scraping on the concrete floor is like nails on a chalkboard. She sits down and reaches across to him, taking his hand in her own. "Damon," she rasps, her voice thick with emotion, his touch overwhelming her.

"Lena," he says softly, not looking up, his hand remaining lifeless. Studying him, she tips her head to look him over.

Noticing the greenish blue discoloration around his orbital bone and his fat lip, she gasps, "What happened to your face?"

"It's nothing," he replies, his voice flat in tone and affect. When she advances her fingers towards him, he pushes her hand away. Feeling her emotions start to get the best of her, she grips hers together, hoping to somehow anchor herself. She jumps, her eyes snapping open when a loud clap of thunder breaks up the awkward silence between them.

"I saw your mom the other day. She mentioned that she was here to see you?"

"Yeah, she was here," he admits, raising his eyes for a moment. She swallows thickly, stunned by the dimming color of them. _He's really given up_ she thinks, her heart hammering wildly at the realization. Determined to get some sort of a reaction out of him, she tells him about her own job.

"Last week Caroline insulted one of our clients. Mrs. Flowers is a rather hefty woman. She was bitching at Caroline because she wasn't losing any weight. But when she reached into her purse for a pen, like four Snickers bars fell out. Of course, Caroline couldn't hold back the snarky comment. I rather doubt we'll see her again. We are thinking about doing some remodeling, maybe some wallpaper or paint, something simple that the two of us could do ourselves," Elena muses, trailing off when she sees the ever present distant, disaffected look on his face.

"Maybe Jeremy can help you?" he adds, covering his mouth when he starts to yawn. Her breath catches in her throat when he mentions her brother. Still she says nothing, brushing off his question when he asks her why the look on her face.

"I watched Noelle for a few hours last Friday. You should see how big she's getting already. Bonnie and Enzo can hardly keep up with her," she smiles, thinking of Damon's niece. His parents were missionaries in Haiti when he was still a child. They found Bonnie as a sick and abandoned infant, barely alive in one of the island's hospitals. Falling in love with her immediately, they adopted her and flew with her back to the States to get her the medical care she needed.

Today after two open heart surgeries growing up, she's the picture of health. Barely noticing any reaction out of him, eventually the conversation ceases. The sound of silence is deafening, nearly driving her mad, her chest tightening painfully. Like always her visit is proving to be futile. Suddenly a loud reverberating roar of thunder grabs his attention. He casts his eyes to the charcoal colored sky, his interest focuses on a golden streak of lightening as it slices through the clouds. The wind unleashes a new torrent of rain. The pummeling sound of plip, plip, ploop breaks up the monotonous atmosphere in the visitation room.

It takes everything he has not to pull her into his arms. He's fisting them so tightly under the table that his fingernails are piercing the skin of his palms. Damon has no idea how it's possible but every time he sees her, she's more beautiful than the time before. His love for her burns like the Northern lights as it colors the night sky with a magnificent display of color and light and beauty. But he can't tell her that. She has to move on. Give up. Walk away.

The only way she'll do that is if he keeps his distance. Glancing at the clock, he relaxes when he hears the guard's unmistakable footsteps and then the sound of his voice telling him that their time is up. Despite his self control, he can't stop himself from looking into her gorgeous face once more just in case this is the last time. He can feel the glass shards pierce his heart when his blue eyes meet her tearful brown ones. As much as he hates himself for hurting her, he knows it's for the best. She needs to stay away, start over and hopefully find someone else. The thought of her with another man rips at his very soul and yet he will do nothing to stop it either.

The sensation is absolutely crushing as she watches him walk away just like every other time she's been here.

"Are you going to be alright?"

"Yes, Elena. Everything's peachy. Except - you - here. Just go home and please for the love of God, don't come back," he snaps, hoping the vitriol in his voice will drive the dagger in. Maybe, just maybe she'll hear him this time. Unable to view the devastation on her face for even a millisecond longer, he turns around and follows the guard out without so much as a backwards glance.

She struggles to understand what she did to make him turn away from her. Whether he believes it or not, or holds it dear like she does, their marriage vows mean something to her. It seems that her words to live by are "for better or worse". She only hopes that if she perseveres, the better will eventually come. Hearing the door slam shut, she startles, realizing now that she's alone again. Slipping on her rain coat, she picks up her umbrella and vacates the room.

Stepping outside, the freezing rain pales her skin on contact. The path to her car is muddy with puddles filling the potholes. Staring at ripples in one of them, she can't help but think of Jurassic Park when the T-Rex arrival was forewarned by the ripples in the water glass. Shaking herself out of it, she hurries towards her car, the downpour intensifying as she gets closer to it. A torrent of rain suddenly breaks loose from the heavens, the cloudburst so intense that the sound blurs into one long, whirring noise.

As soon as she reaches her vehicle, she folds up the umbrella and slides behind the wheel. Gripping it tightly, she drops her forehead against it and in that moment, her emotions finally overwhelm her. Tears fall like an avalanche from her eyes, her chest heaves in pain as fear and anxiety combine to form a mix so bitterly painful that it roils her tummy. Feeling her belly begin to churn, her saliva burning in her throat, she jumps out of the car. Reaching the edge of the grass, she loses the meager contents of her lunch. Her painful cries are drowned out by the sounds of the storm. Drenched, she picks herself up off the pavement and gets back in her car. As soon as she can breathe again, she starts the engine to begin the long drive home.

* * *

 _This story is another one conjured up from Eva's brilliant mind. She really went above and beyond getting this one ready to publish, she planned out many scenes, helped with dialogue and so much more. I don't even begin to find the words to say thank you, Eva._

 _Thanks to all of you as well. You're all the best._

 _Synopsis quote courtesy of Aishabella Sheikh._

 _EOT has a couple of chapters left. "Tomorrow" and "TNWM" will be updating yet this week._

 _I have made so many friends, even gaining a sister in Eva, through Damon and Elena and to me that's the best part of their fandom. Florencia7 is a dear friend, her DE stories are amazing. Morvamp is the sweetest person in addition to being a great writer. Deepwater1978 has several wonderful stories. She's a writing dynamo. Delenasmut is starting to gain her footing in the fan fiction world as is VitsAsh. TheLittle MissVixen, Mariah April May, Salvatoreboys4ever are all dear friends with compelling stories too. Tamilnadu09 felt the writing bug again and has "Once Upon a Nightmare". There are so many, many more._

 _Eva and I would love to hear your thoughts. More of this will post when EOT is marked complete._

 _Have a safe and wonderful day._


	2. Come Home

"I'll help you with the dishes, mom," Elena offers, standing up to help clean off the table. Once she finishes, she starts to run water into the sink, squirting a little soap under the spray of water. She's mesmerized as the bubbles start to form. Her mind takes her back to a time when she and Damon would do this very thing. Dropping her eyes in dismay, she struggles but somehow she manages to keep her emotions under control. Her father can detect any change in her demeanor so she doesn't want them to worry about her. God knows she's given them enough to worry about since her once happy life exploded in a shower of bullets and blood.

Sniffing, she wipes her nose with the back of her forearm then finishes up the dishes. After emptying the sink, she hangs the cloth over the fixture and then reaches for a paper towel to wipe her hands off. With her back turned to the door, she doesn't know her dad is behind her till she feels his gentle hands on her shoulders.

"Why don't you and I go for a walk?" he asks, tilting his head in understanding when she turns around to face him.

"That sounds nice, daddy. Just let me use the bathroom first." With his nod, she walks out of the kitchen and down the long hallway. She reaches that bedroom. Pausing in the threshold, a sad smile forms on her face when she notices all the happy family pictures that are prominently displayed on top of the dresser. There's also a shadowbox with all of the awards from high school. They're bittersweet at best, crippling at worst. Sucking in a breath, she struggles for a moment to regain her composure. As soon as she can shake herself out of it, she steps into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

Once she finishes, she walks out and back down that same hall, her eyes again drifting into that room but she doesn't linger this time, she walks to the living room where her father is waiting for her in the foyer. Stooping over, she presses a kiss to her mother's cheek and tells her that they won't be gone long. Without uttering a sound, Miranda smiles and nods her head. Elena squeezes her hand and then joins her dad, who holds the door open for her to walk through. Side by side they walk down the sidewalk, not saying much of anything yet. Holding out his arm, he gestures for her to turn the corner so they can walk to the park. It's early evening, they have a couple of hours of daylight left.

When they reach a picnic table, Grey excuses himself to get them something to drink at the concession stand. There's an American Legion baseball game playing tonight so there are cars parked all over, the baseball field overflowing with fans. Even from where she's sitting, she can smell the popcorn. She hears the crack of the bat and the clapping noises. She wonders if either one of the players made a great catch or if another hit a homerun. Elena remembers all too well, sitting on the bleachers in that very field, watching Damon walk up the plate, looking so hot in his baseball uniform, his firm ass prominent. The muscles of his forearms would bulge when he'd swing at the ball and then he'd run like the wind to reach first base or fist pump when he'd knock it out of the park. She snaps out of it when her dad slides a cup of beer in front of her. Smiling, she picks it up and takes a swallow, rubbing her nose when the foam tickles it.

"You haven't mentioned your last trip to the jail?"

"I didn't even see Damon the last time I was there. I don't know what was going on but they had some kind of situation so they wouldn't let any visitors in."

"It's close to two and half years since he went in. He should be getting out soon now right?"

Staring into space, she clutches her plastic glass so tight that the beer spills out over the top. Taking the napkin her dad offers, she wipes off her hand. "I don't know for sure daddy. It should be pretty soon. I'm hoping he'll tell me that it's only a matter of months now."

"Elena, you know I love you very much and I care about Damon too but sweetheart, you're miserable. Have you ever even considered a divorce? I don't believe for a moment that Damon would fight it, especially given the way he's distanced himself from you."

Aghast, her mouth falling open, Elena shakes her head back and forth, refusing to even consider such a thing. "No, daddy, I can't, I won't. I married him for better or worse, I love him too much to let him go."

"But what if that's what he wants?"

"I don't want to discuss it any further," she says firmly. After swallowing what's left in her cup of beer, she changes the subject, bringing up the remodeling that she and Caroline want to do to their business. He offers some suggestions which she likes. After several moments of silence, they get up and walk over to the grandstand to watch a little of the baseball game before walking back home just as the sun is falling below the horizon.

* * *

"So Damon, I hear you're going to be getting out of here soon?" the guard, Aaron mentions, standing outside of his cell.

"The end of the month," Damon admits, his face in his hands. Splitting his fingers, he looks through them, eyeing the man that has been kind to him. Since he is a cop, _was a cop_ , he muses to himself, he's been on the receiving end of more than his share of violence, having known, felt, more than enough brutality to last him from this lifetime and into the next.

 _"Hey cop," Rocco smiles, evil lurking just beneath the falsity of it._

 _"I'm not a cop, not anymore," Damon replies softly, lifting another load of laundry into one of the big machines. Before he even has the lid closed, he's on the ground, his jaw aching where he just took a fist. "C'mon man, I didn't do anything."_

 _"That's not what I heard, cop," he snaps, his voice full of disdain. When Damon starts to get up, he kicks him hard, sending him flying into a table leg. Reaching for support his ribs, Damon groans in pain. He looks up just in time to see Rocco closing in on him again. Skittering towards the other end of the table, he gets to his feet as fast as he can then makes a leap for the door. Unfortunately Rocco is too quick for him. Reeling back, he cold cocks Damon in the jaw. With the room spinning, Damon moans loudly. He sees spots dancing in front of his eyes just before darkness consumes him._

"So have you told that gorgeous wife of yours?" Aaron asks, smiling himself when he imagines Mrs. Salvatore's long and shapely legs wrapped around his own middle. When he hears Damon say no, he snaps out of it. He's many things but he's not a cheater.

"She loves you, Damon. That's quite obvious to even a lunk head like me. I hope you don't throw that away."

"Maybe, maybe not," Damon mumbles cryptically. He no longer fancies any illusions of a life with her or the happily ever after of the fairytale kind. Elena is the purest thing in his life, the only light he has.. She deserves to be happy, not have him pull her down to his level.

 _Dammit Damon, you will not be the one to extinguish her fire,_ he thinks to himself. If ensuring that means he has to be the bad guy, then bad he will be. He'll do or say whatever it takes to ensure that she gets the message loud and clear. Completely oblivious to Aaron's continued presence, his head snaps to his side when he hears the guy's voice again.

"Since your mind is somewhere on the surface of Mars, I'm going to go," Aaron says, staring at Damon for a few more seconds. Shaking his head at the man's stupidity and he's seen plenty in his career as a prison guard, he walks away, pulling the heavy steel door to this inmate wing closed behind him.

* * *

"Help me with this piece of wallpaper," Caroline asks. Snapping out of her stupor, Elena hurries over, apologizes and helps hold it up so Caroline can smooth it out. Once they finish that piece, they step back to admire her work. "I really like this pattern don't you?"

"I do, Caroline. I love wildflowers," she says, her voice trailing off as her mind drifts to him.

 _"It's so beautiful, Damon. My dad used to bring us camping here all the time when Jeremy and I were kids. I've always loved it." With his hand holding hers tightly, she bends over to pick a dandelion. She loves their yellow color and the fresh smell. Holding it to her nose, she takes a deep whiff, looking around her as she does. The ground is carpeted with them scattered among the wildflowers and the wild grasses. Hearing a vulture's cry, they look up and see a flock of them circling above. Knowing that some poor animal must be dying, Damon distracts her by pointing at a lizard perched on a rock, not far from them._

 _Staring at her, Damon cradles her cheeks and joins their lips in a tenacious kiss. When she opens her mouth, Damon thrusts inside, his tongue dancing around hers. Taking her hand in his, he leads her off the trail head. With his help, she climbs up the rock face till they're hidden from anyone else who is visiting the park today._

 _With a lascivious wink, she surprises him when she rips her tee shirt over her head. Without missing a beat she grabs the hem of his and with his help, she pulls it off too. She leans forward, allowing Damon to reach around and unhook her bra. He licks his lips salaciously when he views her perfectly shaped voluptuous breasts._

 _She loves being able to put that longing, sexy look that explodes in his eyes every time he sees her bare body. Impossible as it seems, each time they come together, it's always better than the last. She moans when he cups her breasts. It feels so incredible that she unknowingly thrusts her chest forward when he starts to squeeze and massage her ample bosom. Wanting some of him for herself, Elena unbuttons his shorts and pulls them down his legs before jumping to her feet to lower her own._

 _"You're so beautiful, Elena." Pulling her to him, Damon captures her lips in a sizzling kiss. Laying her down, he spreads her legs, situating his face against her core. Using his teeth, tongue and fingers, he has her moaning and squirming, as he works her into a frenzy in minutes. Although it's not their first time, he never fails to push her to the limit of ecstasy and beyond. He pushes two fingers inside and while pumping in and out, he uses his tongue to work her clit, licking, nipping and sucking it till she erupts so spectacularly that it literally feels like she's flying. As soon as she regains her senses, she spreads her legs again, inviting him to come home. With bleary eyes she eyes him, she'll never get over the look that washes over his face whenever he brings her to orgasm. It's a look so filled with wonder, it alone makes her feel so beautiful and so loved._

 _"I want you inside of me, Damon."_

 _Wrapping his fingers around his member, he rubs the head up and down her wet core to lubricate himself. Feeling his teasing, she bucks her hips, urging him to push forward. After stealing another scorching kiss from her lush, full lips, Damon pushes himself inside of her._

 _"You feel incredible," she moans, feeling every glorious inch as Damon drives forward, stretching her deliciously. Harder and faster, he drives in and out, meeting her hips with each of his forward strokes. Running her hands over the sinuous musculature of his beautifully chiseled chest, she pants with pleasure as he continues his punishing pace. Lowering her hands, she digs her nails into the curve of his ass pulling him in even deeper._

" _You feel so damn good, I love you so much," Damon pants, working hard not only for her pleasure but for his own as well. With missing a beat, he flips them, encouraging her to ride him. He places his hands on her lower back, holding her impossibly closer, making it almost impossible for her to rise and fall. When she begins to tire, Damon sits up and pulls her flush against him as she wraps her legs around his middle. When she feels his firm hands on either side of her ass, she buries her face in that soft spot between his neck and shoulder._

 _His hands pull her up and down which serves to amplify her pleasure dramatically each time her clit rubs against his pubic bone. When she throws her head back her breasts lurch forward. The feel of her nipples rubbing against his chest hair is so intoxicating that a loud, shuddering moan escapes. He then lets go of her bum, earning a groan from her. When she opens her eyes to express her displeasure, he gives her a wink then snakes it between them to vigorously massage her clit. In the next second, she screams, rocketing into the most intense mind warping orgasm. Bright lights flash behind her eyes, her body quivers as chill bumps begin to dot her skin. With her body still shuddering, she feels him slam into her one last time before a loud grunt and a series of "fucks" signal his own release. Lastly she feels his firm, muscular arms wrap around and pull her close, whispering, over and over again how much he loves her._

"Earth to Elena," Caroline says, snapping her fingers in front of Elena's face.

"I'm sorry. The wildflower pattern just reminded me of a time that Damon took me to Hyde Memorial State Park. It was when we were still dating before everything went to shit."

"Elena," she whispers, pulling her friend in for a hug. "Let's do some exercises and then we can go get something fattening to drink."

"That's sounds perfect, Caroline. Thank you for being here, for caring."

"Of course, you're my best friend. Where else would I be?" she asks. With a wink, she links her arm with Elena's and leads her over to the exercise mat.

* * *

"Thanks for picking me up, Enzo, " Damon utters, carrying his meager belongings in his hand as he follows his brother in law to his car.

"No problem. Does Elena know that you're coming?" he asks, glancing over, their eyes meeting for a moment before Enzo looks back at the highway in front of him.

"I didn't want to bother her. It's a surprise." Turning his head to the side, he looks through the window at the rolling countryside. The grasses are green, cactus are dotting the ditches and the desert around them. It would be beautiful if his mind was anywhere but on what he has to do.

Seeing how disaffected Damon is, Enzo has to wonder what's going through that thick head of his. Mumbling something about Elena being happy, he glances at the man in the passenger seat again. Along the way, he exits off of the highway to fill the gas tank and get something to drink. Getting out of the car, Damon tells him that he's going to use the bathroom. He's even more surprised when he sees Damon slip some coins in an old pay phone. Judging by the look on Damon's face and his gesticulations, he figures he's not too happy with whoever he's talking to. When he looks up again, Damon is gone. Shrugging his shoulders, he finishes filling the tank and then walks into the station to get a couple of sodas. In the time it takes to walk back outside, Enzo shakes his head when he sees that Damon is back. He's standing at the edge of the grass, a cigarette in his hand.

 _Probably a habit he picked up in prison,_ Enzo thinks to himself. Walking over him, he hands Damon a bottle of Coke and then twists off the cap of his own and takes a long swallow.

"When did you start to smoke?"

"When I wasn't getting pummeled, I needed something to take my mind off of it."

"I'm sorry, Damon. You didn't deserve what went down. You were made an example of. It could have happened to any of us."

"It's over. Done. Finished. I don't want to talk about. Let's just go okay? I need you to drop me off at Elena's."

"Sure, let's go," he agrees, the two of them jumping back in the car. A half hour later, Enzo parks the car in front of the home he shared with her. Getting out of the car, he feels all the familiar pangs. Love. Joy. Pain. Heartache.

He hasn't seen this place in nearly two and a half years. She's painted it a pale blue color. It's very nice really. He's almost certain she chose it because it's his favorite color, aside from black that is. The flower boxes are blooming, her hanging planters filled with petunias and peonies are bright and full of color.

Shaking himself out of it, he tells Enzo to wait and then runs up the sidewalk and into the house. When the prison gave him back his things, he still had a house key. Using it, he unlocks the door. He stops, breathing her in. Everything is her. He would like nothing more than to lose himself inside of her again like they have so many times before. But he knows leaving is for the best.

Hurrying up the stairs, he runs into their bedroom, pulls open his drawers, not at all surprised that his things are folded neatly inside. Grabbing a duffel bag off of the floor, he throws his clothes inside it then walks out. Just as he's about to leave the room, he remembers the pictures of her that he always kept in the drawer on his side of the bed.

Pulling it open, he rifles through it, finding the hidden album. Pocketing it, he walks out, gallops down the stairs stopping only when he reaches the threshold. Turning around, his heart starts to pound and he has to struggle to fight back tears knowing how hurt she's going to be when she finds his things missing. Not only that, his throat tightens painfully knowing that they won't fill this house with little feet and little voices. He knows that he doesn't deserve to be a father, not after everything.

Damon would rather end it all right now than ruin her like he ruined his own life. Seeing a picture askew on the wall, he stops. Swallowing thickly, he stares at the picture and suddenly he feels his chin begin to tremble like that of a small child. A single tear leaks from his cloudy blue eyes, followed by another one, and another until a steady stream of salty tears trail down his pale cheek. Regret and raw anguish burn through his veins but still he does not make a sound.

 _"Congratulations," everyone yells while pummeling them with water balloons and water guns. In no time at all, they're both soaking wet. With her stringy hair sticking to her face, her mascara running, she looks like a drowned rat, a beautiful one at that. Pushing the hair out of his own eyes, Damon palms her cheeks. His heart is absolutely bursting with love and happiness._

 _"Promise me this is forever," she whispers, her own eyes bright and full of love._

 _"I promise," he assures her and before either can breathe again, he crashes his mouth to hers._

As much as he'd like to take the picture with him, he simply straightens it. And then after one last glance at it, he wraps his hand around the doorknob and pulls it closed, his heart hurting like a son of a bitch as he walks down the porch steps and starts to walk down the sidewalk without so much as a backward glance at Enzo.

Jumping out of the car, Enzo runs after him. Grabbing onto his arm, he stops Damon in his tracks. "Do you have any idea how hurt and how mad Elena and Bonnie are going to be? Let me at least take you somewhere?"

"Enzo... It's hard enough as it is."

"Please, Damon?"

Looking down the sidewalk first one way and then the other, Damon drops his chin to his chest. With resignation, he follows Enzo back to his car and slides in. With a very heavy heart, Enzo starts the car, driving his idiotic brother in law away from his _only_ light.

* * *

Walking back to Bonnie's car after she and Noelle invited her for lunch and playing in the park, Elena helps secure Noelle in her car seat and then gets in herself. "I really enjoyed this, Bonnie. Thank you for inviting me."

"Of course," Bonnie adds, a huge smile on her face. Shifting into gear, she pulls onto the road to drive the couple of miles to Elena's home. Looking out through the window, Elena can't get rid of the gnawing feeling like something is very wrong and yet she doesn't know what it is. It's a pit, a hollow feeling. As soon as Bonnie pulls into her driveway and stops the engine, the three of them get out to go inside. Elena promised Noelle a popsicle and the little girl would never let her forget it if she went back on her word.

After unlocking the door, they go inside. The feeling inside begins to burn like wildfire when she sees that the picture frame has been straightened. Somehow she knows it was him so she runs up the stairs two at a time. Running at almost breakneck speed, she has to grab onto the door frame to keep herself from running past it. Going directly into the closet, she pulls open his drawers. Finding them empty, she shakes her head back and forth in disbelief.

She always believed that he would come home, their home, the home they built together but now, everything about her home is gone. it's just gone. Blood curdling screams so intense that her chest tightens escape her mouth. She collapses to the floor in a heap, raw visceral pain claws at her insides. Tears flood her eyes and cascade down her cheeks. Muffled sobs continue to wrack her chest. The world blurs around her. His taste. His smell. It's all gone. Suddenly everything coalesces into nothingness as she passes into the sweet oblivion of unconsciousness.

Having heard her painful cries, Bonnie runs into the room, drops to the floor and wraps her arms around Elena, holding her close, she wants to promise her that everything will be alright but she can't.

* * *

 _This story is angst on steroids too._

 _Thank you so much, Eva. I love you dearly. Be safe and have a wonderful vacation._

 _Huge thanks to all of you. You're truly the best there is. I can never express how much your support means to me._

 _Chapter title: 'Come Home' by OneRepublic_

 _I did post the final chapter of EOT. "Tomorrow" and "The Night We Met" are also in progress. I want to thank_ _Delenadreams for always mentioning me. She's such a sweetheart. I also am thrilled to know that this story inspired Salvatoreboys4ever's new DE story, "Captive of Her Beauty"._

 _Have a safe and wonderful weekend. Thank you all again._


	3. When You're Gone

"Where do you want me to drop you off?" Enzo asks, turning the corner that leads away from his and Elena's cul de sac. Looking over at his brother in law, he feels frustrated beyond words because he knows that Damon is making the biggest mistake of his life.

"Just drop me off at a bar, I need a drink," Damon replies without bothering to look up. He's not stupid, he knows what Enzo is thinking. Does he really think that he doesn't know himself that leaving her is, will prove to be the biggest mistake of his life. Quite honestly it feels like he has a vise grip around his heart as the car takes him further and further away from her. When they get to downtown Santa Fe, Damon points to a bar and tells him to just drop him off.

"Where are you going to stay?" Enzo asks, frustrated beyond belief with Damon.

"I'll find a place. You don't need to worry about me, Enzo. I've gotten by for two and half years in there, I can certainly get by in town."

Without replying, Enzo pulls over to the side of the road and lets Damon hop out. Pulling open the back door, Damon grabs his duffel bag. After sharing a quick look with Enzo, he takes off down the street, turning into the first bar that he finds. Walking up to it, he drops his duffel on the floor and takes a seat. Dropping his face, he rakes his hand through his hair. He knows that he's going to have to find a job. The two hundred dollars he has in his wallet isn't going to last long. He's also going to need a cellphone and a roof over his head. Hopefully he'll be able to find an efficiency apartment of some sort. When the jukebox begin to play _that_ song, he feels the stab when his heart shatters all over again. It's one of _her_ favorites.

 _"Ladies and Gentlemen, May I present Mr. and Mrs. Damon Salvatore," his best man, Enzo says, leading the applause to urge them onto the dance floor. Knowing it's one of her favorite songs, the band starts to play "Eternal Flame". Leading her out to the dance floor, Damon takes her hand in his and holds them over his heart. Dropping his mouth to her ear, he sings softly, "Close your eyes, Give me your hand darling. Do you feel my heart beating? Do you understand? Do you feel the same or am I only dreaming? Is this burning an eternal flame."_

 _"Yes, yes, the flame that burns inside me will never be extinguished. I love you, Damon," she says, her eyes moist with happy tears._

 _"I love you forever and always." And with much delight for their audience, he captures her lips in a scorching kiss._

Shaking himself out of it, he pulls the crumpled up little piece of paper out of his pocket. Looking at the handwriting, he drops his head again, his life is a mess but his mind is an ever bigger mess.

 _"Rocco, let the kid alone," Damon says firmly, sick and tired of the bastard's brutish ways._

 _"You want him for yourself, Salvatore?" the big burly bastard teases, winking at Luka._

 _"You're a sick and twisted son of a bitch."_

 _Rocco, not liking Damon's lack of respect launches himself at him. Before Damon has a chance to react, a fist cold cocks him into next week. Shaking himself out of it when he sees the man stalking towards him again, Damon jumps to his feet, reels back and lands a hard right to his jaw. Rocco is sent sprawling to the floor, out cold from the force of the punch. Only now does Damon taste the blood that is streaming from his nose. Brushing it off, he grabs Luka by the arm and leads him out of the rec area and back to the cell they share._

Feeling someone brush against his shoulder, he looks up as a woman slides onto the stool beside him. Turning away, he looks at the note again unsure if wants to open that can of worms. Damon debates if he should actually try to call it. After all that happened, he decides against it. Reaching into his back pocket for his wallet, Damon pulls out a twenty dollar bill then stuffs the piece of paper inside to save as a last resort.

"Can I buy you a drink, honey?" the woman asks, looking at him like she wants to eat him alive. Although he knows that it would be so easy to sever ties with Elena if he were to do it, he just cannot cross that line. Even if he can't be with her, he owes her fidelity until he signs the divorce papers. Shaking his head no, he stands up, pushes his wallet back into his pocket and then sits back down. Dropping his elbows to the bar, he only looks up when he hears the bartender ask him if he wants something to drink.

"Double bourbon." Nodding the man fills the tumbler then slides it to Damon. Clutching it in his hands, he holds it for a few seconds, then takes a deep swallow, downing nearly half the glass with one pull. Licking his lips, he savors the burn. It's been a hell of long time since he tasted something this good. After downing what's left, he asks for another one. The bartender gives him a knowing look but does as he asks. Turning in his seat, he looks around a little more. He's never been in this particular bar before. In fact, he doesn't remember the place at all.

"How long has this place been open?" Damon asks, seeing the name " _Ric's_ " flashing in neon lights behind the bar. "Are you Ric?" he adds, pointing to the sign.

"I am. I opened this place a couple years ago," Ric, the bartender says, wiping off the bar top with his rag.

"I didn't think it looked familiar. I've been gone for a little over two years. Just got back to town myself," Damon mentions. Deliberately cryptic, it's no one's business that he spent the last two plus years in prison. With no place else to go, he might as well stay here for awhile, he thinks to himself.

"I moved here after my divorce. Once the city approved my liquor license, I bought the bar. It took a lot of hard work and elbow grease but it's worth it. I like the place."

"I do too," Damon adds, looking up at the TV when Ric turns it on, flicking the channels till he finds a baseball game. Since he used to enjoy playing quite a lot, especially when Elena was in the stands watching him, he swings his seat a little so he can watch it. Switching to beer cause it's cheaper, Damon tells Ric to keep his seat so he can use the restroom. The lady eyes him appreciatively again and again, he just shakes his head no. He's many things, most not good but he will not add cheater to his resume. That is one line he won't cross, not with Elena anyway.

Stepping into the bathroom, he does his business, washes his hands and then steps out just in time to hear raised voices and breaking glass. Before he can see what's going on, the tell tale crack of wood reverberates. Seeing two guys going at it, Damon hurries over to break it up before Ric's bar is a shambles. Pulling the bigger one off the smaller one, he throws him to the floor, grabs him by the scruff of the neck and pushes him outside. Having seen Damon make mincemeat of the other guy, the smaller man grabs his baseball cap and then runs outside and down the block. Shaking his head at the damage, Damon sees a broom and starts sweeping up the glass much to Ric's surprise.

Picking up the dustpan, Ric walks around the bar and goes over to the guy. "You don't have to do that. It's not your job."

"It's okay, I don't mind," Damon adds, very used to cleaning up messes.

"Thank you, man. If you insist, come back to the bar when you're done. Drinks are on the house," Ric adds, handing Damon the dustpan. Taking it from him, Damon nods, then gets back to cleaning up. Impressed, Ric watches him for a few minutes then walks back to the bar. As soon as he's done sweeping up the glass, he throws it in the trash. Then he picks up the broken chair and the leg. Carrying it over to Ric, he asks if he has any wood glue.

Since the bar is pretty empty right now, Ric tells Damon to watch it for a few minutes while he disappears into the back room, returning a few minutes later with the glue and a couple of clamps. Taking them from him, Damon takes the broken pieces and the other things and steps around back and out of the way. He carefully glues the pieces of the chair back together and then applies the clamps. After washing his hands, he walks back out and takes his seat. He's relieved that his duffel bag is still on the floor.

"So you said that you've been gone awhile?"

"Yeah," Damon says. Since the bar is empty, he opens up a little bit, telling the man that he was just released from prison.

"So you're _that_ Damon Salvatore?" Ric asks, pouring Damon another glass full of bourbon.

Tensing a little bit, Damon clutches his glass tightly. Releasing the breath he was holding, he jokes halfheartedly, "My reputation precedes me."

He picks up his glass to take a deep pull. He's beginning to feel the effects of drinking as the afternoon wears on. And although before going into the slammer, the amount would barely have any effect on him. It's been a long time since he imbibed so he's beginning to feel just a little bit tipsy.

"A few cops come in here from time to time. They talk. From what I've over heard, it sounds like you got the raw end of the deal. But that's neither here not there, you still did the time."

"I did," Damon adds, raising his eyes from the amber liquid to the man in front of him.

"Look, I know we barely know each other but I feel like I can trust you. I could use some help around here. If you want the job, it's yours."

"Are you being serious?"

"I am. Where are you staying?" he asks, pointing to Damon's duffel bag.

"I don't know quite honestly."

"Well, there's an efficiency apartment upstairs if you're interested in it. It needs some work but you're welcome to stay there if you want."

"I don't begin to know how to thank you, man."

"It's Ric, Ric Saltzman," he says, offering his hand. Shaking it, Damon smiles for the first time since he walked through the prison gates a free man. "Come on, I'll show you the room." Throwing back what's left in his glass, Damon slides off the bar stool, picks up his belongings then follows Ric to the back and up a flight of stairs. Unlocking the door, Ric steps aside to let Damon in. It's not huge, a small living room, bedroom and bathroom is all. It's all he needs and more really. Never did he expect such kindness from someone that he just met.

"Well?"

"It's perfect. Thank you, Ric."

"I'll see if I have a set of sheets, at least you'll have a clean bed to sleep on," he adds. With a nod to Damon, he walks out of the room, pulling the door closed, leaving him alone to pull his thoughts together.

* * *

Pacing back and forth in her living room while wringing her hands together, Elena is furious. She tries to keep her voice at a low decibel since Noelle is asleep in the guest room. "You knew? You knew he was coming home and you never told me? How could you?" she snaps, feelings of pain, betrayal and rejection are leaching into each and every cell almost as if by osmosis.

She had been certain she was cried out and yet her eyes are moistening up all over again. Every time she turns and walks towards the fireplace, she sees their wedding portrait large and looming above it. Her parents had it made into a painting. It's a work of art but now, its like the dagger pushes in farther each time she looks at it. How could he do this to her? Flames of betrayal lick at her insides, making her burn like a wildfire. Unable to control herself, she picks up a cheap glass vase and launches it into the fireplace, the glass shatters as shards scatter all over the floor.

Glancing at her husband, Bonnie suddenly jumps to her feet when she notices Elena picking up another piece of glassware. Stopping her, Bonnie cradles her cheeks, her thumbs stroking her cheekbones.

"Elena, he asked us to keep it a secret. We thought he wanted to surprise you. I swear to you that had I known he was planning something as insane as this, I would have strangled him myself."

Glaring at Bonnie, her voice now void of emotion, she says without any inflection, "So you were given the task of distracting me while Enzo brought him here to pack his bags."

"Elena, that's not true. We had today planned for well over a week already," Bonnie adds, defending herself from Elena's accusations.

"And you," Elena adds, glaring at Enzo with lethal intensity, "You just let him leave without even telling me? How could you?"

"Elena, I was just glad that he let me give him a lift. I know that you must feel like you've had your insides ripped out but he obviously needs some time to come to grips with everything. And if space is what he needs, we have to honor his wishes. It's my hope that he'll come back very soon."

"Honor his wishes? What about mine? I've waited for him through everything. I made that trip to the prison almost every week for two and half years. Instead of coming home to me, he runs away and with your help I might add? How can any of this be good?"

"Elena?"

"Don't... Oh God," she adds, clutching her middle when pain overwhelms her again. She has no idea where he is or what he's doing. All she knows is that he isn't here where he belongs, with her. She longs to feel his strong arms around her shoulders, it's been so long, so very long.

Seeing her friend dissolve into a puddle of tears and deep visceral anguish, Bonnie starts to close the distance between them. Elena raises her hand which stops Bonnie in her tracks.

"Elena, I'm sorry."

"Stop. I don't want to hear how sorry you are."

She pauses, raking her hand through her hair in frustration. "I can't do this. Not now. Please... just leave me alone" Without saying another word, she darts into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

* * *

 _Turning to face the jury box, the judge asks, "Have you reached a verdict?" When the jury foreman nods, he adds, "Please hand it to the bailiff." When it's handed to him, Judge Fell reads it over and then hands it back, watching as the man gives it back to the jury foreman._

 _"Please read the verdict, Miss Starr."_

 _"Yes your honor." With a nod, she opens it up and starts to read. "We the people in the above entitled matter find the defendant, Officer Damon Salvatore, guilty of Count One in the indictment of involuntary manslaughter in the second degree."_

 _The stunned gasp in the courtroom soon turns into a roar, pandemonium breaking out as reporters rush towards Damon's table. Turning around himself, his heart tears inside of his chest when he sees heavy tears trailing down her cheeks. Feeling his own knees begin to weaken, Damon grips the defendant's table so hard that his fingertips and knuckles whiten under the pressure._

 _"We'll appear the verdict," his attorney says, latching onto his forearm to offer support._

 _"Order in the court," Judge Fell yells, banging his gavel hard against his desktop. Once the room quiets, he turns to Damon. "The jury has found you guilty. You are hereby remanded into custody to await your sentencing hearing." In shock he looks at Elena, his mouth gawping open. Unable to utter a sound, he doesn't take his eyes from hers till he's led out of the room and back to his cell._

Lurching upright in a cold sweat, Damon's heart is slamming against his chest so painfully that he literally can't get any air into his lungs. In a panic, he flies out of bed and runs over to the window. Opening it as wide as he can he leans out to try to breathe in the fresh air. The wind is whipping around, lightning colors the sky and thunder claps so loud that he hears the window panes rattle. Wiping the sweat from his brow, he collapses to his knees, continuing to suck in the fresh air even when rain starts to pelt the windows and himself. When he starts to shiver, he finally snaps out of it. Standing up, he slams the window closed and backs away, only now recognizing his surroundings.

Walking over to the sofa, he drops onto it. Looking around the room, he glances at the small stand alone wood heater. With Ric's help, they went to the Goodwill store to find himself some furniture. It's not the best but it's not in bad shape either. With some paint and a little work, his place is comfortable. And yet everywhere he looks, he sees her influence. He also found some pictures of some of the National Park Symbols. Hanging on the wall are Old Faithful, Delicate Arch in Utah, Yosemite's half dome, and The Grand Canyon. Elena loves being outside among the wildlife, flora and fauna.

Something unknown forces him to turn his head to the right. There it is, her picture. Picking it up, he presses it against his still chaotically beating heart. He misses her so damn much. The only thing that keeps him grounded is knowing that he's doing what's best for her.

Refusing to allow himself to wallow in self pity any longer, he sets her photo down. It's then that he feels another breeze. Looking towards the kitchen, he remembers that he left that window ajar. Looking up, he sees the wild dance of gauzy curtains as the breeze blows the every which way. Getting up, he walks over to close it. Finding the floor a little wet, he grabs the towel from stove bar and wipes it up. Taking a breath, he hangs it back up before reaching into the refrigerator to pull out a bottle of water.

Taking a long pull, he then reaches into the cupboard, drops a couple of Advil in his hand and throws them in his mouth. After swallowing them, he twists the cap back on the water bottle and puts it back into the refrigerator. He takes one last look at their picture taken at Delicate Arch. Even though they were repeatedly getting bitten by black flies, she insisted they continue. She wanted to have their picture taken under the arch. As soon as they reached their destination, a man was kind enough to snap a few photos of them. He swallows thickly, the love in her eyes for him is so obvious.. His breath catches when he presses it against his chest.

Tired, he leans back against the sink. He smiles sadly when his overactive imagination places Elena next to him. She's doing the dishes, her pert little backside swaying to the music that's wafting in the air from her radio. So many times he'd come home from work and just stand in the doorway watching her full of life and happiness.

"Stop it Damon," he blurts aloud, forbidding himself from walking further down memory lane. After taking one more glance at the picture, he goes back to bed, buries his head under the pillow, hoping for a sleep that's void of both dreams and nightmares.

* * *

 _Thank you all so much. As I cautioned, this story is full of angst.. lots of angst. You will learn Damon's story as we move forward. I cannot thank you enough for your support. I never ever thought that writing is something that I would enjoy as much as I do. Especially since I had no interest in it whatsoever till just a couple of years ago._

 _Love and thanks to you Eva for helping me bring your amazing idea to life. Both of us would hate it when we'd have to take a break in writing it when I had to do my 3 day stretch at the hospital._

 _Chapter title: 'When You're Gone' by Avril Lavigne._

 _Arches National Park in UT is one of my favorite places. In the opening sequence of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, the part with River Phoenix, it was filmed in Arches._

 _'TNWM' and 'Tomorrow' are still in progress. Check out my scarlett2112 FB page for pictorials, teasers of coming attractions. I posted Elena's infinity necklace, wedding gown etc from EOT. The address is in my profile. You just need to copy and paste. I will post a picture of Delicate arch._

 _I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. We'll see you next time._


	4. Deperate Heart

_Running like gangbusters down the sidewalk, his baseball glove in hand, Jeremy stumbles, having tripped on an irregular section of sidewalk. Landing spread eagle on the cement, he yelps in pain. Seeing his skinned knees with gravel embedded in them, he spits in his hand and wipes them off. Jumping to his feet again, he hurries off to his house, taking two steps at a time till he reaches the front door. Pulling it open, he yells aloud for his mom as he runs from room to room. Not finding her, he dashes up the stairs and runs down the hall, latching onto Elena's door frame, nearly landing on his face again as he tries to stop his momentum._

 _"Jeremy, what's going on?" Elena asks, setting her journal down._

 _"Where's mom?"_

 _"She went to the grocery store with dad. Why?"_

 _Out of breath, he bends over, his hands on his thighs. Once he can talk, he blurts out breathlessly, "Mrs. Ott, I.. I. I broke her garage window with my baseball. She's going to murder me."_

 _"You're right, she is going to murder you," Elena chuckles, putting on her serious face when she sees how scared her little brother is._

 _"Come on, Jer. Let's go talk to her. I have some money saved up to buy her a new one."_

 _"But that's your money."_

 _"Your life is more important to me than a little bit of money," Elena adds, dropping her eyes and just now seeing his bleeding knees. "You're bleeding!"_

 _"I tripped on the sidewalk," he tells her matter of factly as if it's nothing out of the ordinary and in truth it isn't. He's always coming home with scrapes and bruises. He even had to get stitches in his eyebrow when he fell down the stairs last year._

 _"Let's wash it off and put some bandaids on them and then we'll go to see her okay?"_

 _"I already cleaned them with spit," he protests, reluctantly following her to the bathroom. When they finish, Elena takes his hand in hers. Side by side, they walk down the sidewalk towards Mrs. Ott's house. In truth, Elena's belly is fluttering with butterflies. Although it feels like she's walking towards the gallows, she also knows that she would do anything for her little brother._

* * *

Elena sprays some Lemon Pledge on her end table and then wipes it clean with her dust cloth. The wood gleams now when the sunlight hits it as it shines through the picture window. Despondent, she's kept the drapes closed for several days. Deciding that it was too depressing even with her mood, she opened them today. Lifting the lamps off the end tables, she sets them on the floor to dust each one before replacing them. From there she moves on to the book shelf. Painstakingly she removes the books from one shelf at a time, sprays them with Pledge and then puts the books back in perfect order, the tallest to shortest.

Pausing to look outside, she can see that weeds are starting to over run her vegetable garden. She'll have to put on her gloves and go outside to do that as soon as she finishes with the dusting. With her hands on her hips, she walks over to the fireplace. Lifting up the photo, she runs her fingers along his face. Her heart twists painfully because she misses him so much. After holding it close for a few minutes, she removes the other photos, wipes off the top of the mantle and then replaces all of the photos.

From there she goes into the kitchen to put the Pledge away under the kitchen sink where it belongs. She pulls open the nick knack drawer, digging through the hodge-podge of pens, scrap paper, a sewing kit till she finally finds her garden gloves at the bottom of it. Slipping them on, she goes outside and into the garage. Groaning when she doesn't find it right away, she starts to rifle though Damon's tool box, relieved when she finds the trowel that she was looking for.

Reaching for her straw hat, she slips it on along with a pair of sunglasses and walks outside and into her garden. Dropping to her knees, she starts pulling at the creeping weeds. She moves from one to the other as she works her way through the tomatoes and then the cucumbers and finally, she pulls the weeds from the Kohlrabi plants. Damon loves them.

When his name pops into her mind, she immediately starts to feel her eyes beginning to moisten. Although she's driven through town, she has yet to see him since he got out. Santa Fe isn't that huge of a city and yet she hasn't seen even a trace of him. He hasn't called or left a message, nothing. The more she thinks about it, the madder she gets at him. Not once did she ever consider leaving him, not once and yet the moment he's freed, he disappears without a trace. All she knows is that Enzo dropped him off downtown. That's the last time he's been seen by anyone. If Bonnie and Enzo are being truthful with her, he hasn't called them either.

She hasn't talked to his mother but she has to wonder if he's keeping her in the dark too. Finishing with the task at hand, she gets back to her feet. She gets a yard bag from the garage and deposits all the weeds. Next she hooks up the hose so she can water her vegetables and the fruit trees that they planted when they moved here. She has a lemon tree, an apple tree and a cherry tree. Fresh cherries are her favorite seasonal treat. Elena would eat them by the bushel if she could. When she finishes her outside work, she puts the trowel away, hangs her straw hat back on the nail and then goes inside to have herself something cold to drink.

* * *

 _"Oh come on, Damon. That was a strike," Jeremy protests, waving his hand at the umpire. They're watching an MLB game, the Dodgers and the Arizona Cardinals. Damon grew up liking the Dodgers because his uncle played for one of their minor league teams. He and Bonnie grew up on the baseball field after they moved back to the States for good. Once Bonnie was healthy and strong, the family spent time in the Dominican Republic on another of their missions. He was never so happy as when they got home to stay._

 _He grew up in Albuquerque but relocated to Santa Fe after meeting Elena. Bonnie moved here first after marrying Enzo. She's a few months older than Damon. Their mom was pregnant with him when they found her in that Haitian hospital near death._

 _"Not according to the ump, Jer. He called it a ball."_

 _"The umpire needs glasses then. The ball was high and outside," Jeremy adds, picking up his can of Mt. Dew. After taking a swallow, he sets it back down and reaches for the popcorn bowl sitting on the couch between them. Dropping a few kernels into his mouth, Jer chews it up while shifting his attention back to the TV. On the next pitch, the batter hits a homerun, clearing the bases. "Son of a...," he blurts out, mad that his team just had three runs scored against them._

 _Fist pumping, Damon jumps up, a resounding, "Yes," leaving his lips._

 _"Go ahead, rub it in," Jeremy scowls, sticking his tongue out at his brother in law._

 _"I'm not rubbing it in anymore than you usually do, buddy," he laughs, dropping another handful of popcorn into his mouth._

 _"Why are you two making so much noise?" Elena asks, taking a seat on the armrest beside her husband._

 _"My guy hit a homerun. His team is now behind," Damon explains, winking at Jer. When he turns away, Jeremy stands up and drops the bowl of popcorn on Damon's head. To which Elena and her brother laugh uproariously, much to his dismay. Stalking out of the room to change his shirt, he pauses at the doorway. Looking over his shoulder, he says to his brother in law, "Payback is a bitch," and then he walks off, disappearing into his and Elena's bedroom._

When she hears her name, she snaps out of her reverie. Turning around, she walks to the foyer, smiling when she sees her best friend Caroline. Since their mothers are best friends, they've known each other their whole lives.

"Where were you?" Caroline asks, knowing Elena was a million miles away judging by the far off look in her eyes.

"I was just thinking about the studio. I wonder if we should get new mats. Some of them are starting to crack."

"I did notice that. Are you sure that's all it is?" she asks. Tilting her head slightly, Caroline looks at her best friend with concern.

"I'm positive," Elena adds, her voice firm.

"I stopped by to see if you wanted to go to lunch. We can run to the store afterwards to look at some new mats."

"That sounds good, Care. Let me get my bag and then we can leave."

"Sure," she agrees. She watches as Elena walks down the hall and disappears into her bedroom. Turning, she happens to notice the wedding portrait above the fireplace. It frosts her quite honestly. Although she knows Elena is still completely in love with the jerk, she would like nothing more than to kick him in the cojones for being a stupid ass. With her mind conjuring up all kinds of new and wonderful ways to torture Damon, she startles when she feels Elena's hand brush against her arm.

"You ready to go?"

"Yes, Elena, let's do it." Smiling widely, she links arms with her best friend and then the two women march out of the house, down the steps and into Caroline's vehicle. Once inside, she shifts into gear and drives away, not realizing that Elena forgot to lock the front door.

* * *

Looking around her studio, Elena smiles at the work they've done. The wall that holds the ballet bar has the wildflower print wallpaper. The other walls are painted a crisp white. The pictures on the walls are Fred Astaire and Ginger Rodgers in various dance poses. She just loves watching their old black and white movies on DVD. Walking over to the window, she wraps her arms around herself when she sees how breezy it is outside. The wind is whipping the tree branches around, kicking up the dust. Although it's not really cool outside, it is a blustery day for this time of the year. When she hears laughter, she turns around, smiling when she sees the ladies coming in. Glancing at the clock, she sees it's almost time for her class, so she leaves the room to change clothes.

Once Elena slips into her leotard, she turns on the music. Her new class has eleven women. They're all sitting on the mats waiting for her to begin. The music is playing softly so as not to hinder her presentation.

"Aerobic dance integrates exercise and dance movements in routines that are practiced with music," she explains, performing some of the moves for the ladies. "Many dances are used including ballet, jazz and disco. The dances integrate fat burning aerobics with the development of muscle and stretching exercises. If you're worried about your dancing ability, don't. We'll give you pointers so you don't have to embarrass yourselves. We're all women here anyway, when we laugh, we laugh together," Elena adds, smiling at her group.

Although on the outside she can put on a good act, she's still miserable and missing her husband on the inside. Continuing on, she finishes, "There is no jumping around in low-impact aerobic dance. Your foot is on the ground all times. This kind of aerobic is slower and it is simpler to do than intermediate and advanced classes. Are we all ready?"

When the women nod, Elena turns up the volume on the stereo and starts to show the women the moves. Caroline joins in having finished with her youth class. She gives pointers to a couple of ladies that are having difficulty with the moves. Out of the corner of her eyes, Caroline is stunned when she sees Mrs. Flowers walk in and go into the locker room, likely to change into her exercise attire. Shrugging her shoulders, she continues helping until the session ends. She and Elena give the ladies a round of applause. After which, they retire to the shower room to get cleaned up.

Hearing the bell above the door ring, Elena goes to the front desk to see the woman. "Can I help you?"

"I'm just looking for my credit card. My daughter wants to take some classes so I wanted to buy her a three month trial to see if she really likes this."

"That's a wonderful idea for a present, Mrs?"

"Lockwood, Carol Lockwood," she says, finally raising her head. As soon as her eyes focus in on Elena's name tag, the woman's face contorts angrily. In a venomous tone, she sneers, "Mrs. Salvatore? Is _he_ your husband, the _baby killer_?"

Taken aback, Elena's mouth drops open and closed, no sound coming out. Having heard the nasty woman, Caroline rushes over to Elena. "Excuse me mam, you have no right to make such accusations. Her husband is not a murderer," Caroline interrupts, standing toe to toe with the woman.

"No one asked you to interfere," The woman retorts, her voice dripping with disdain.

"Excuse me, mam. I think you should leave. Elena is a fine woman and so is Caroline. You have no right to attack them like that. I'm going to take the liberty and ask you to leave," Mrs. Flowers says, adding her two cents worth. Stepping back, she pulls the door open and gestures with her arm for the woman to leave.

"Well I never," Mrs. Lockwood snorts, then walks out with her nose in the air.

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out," Mrs. Flowers adds, letting the door fall shut.

Elena and Caroline can hardly believe their eyes or their ears. Elena is speechless but the look on her face says everything in Caroline's mind. "Elena, don't let that woman win. She's just ill informed and spiteful."

"Whatever you say, Caroline," she mumbles, her voice void of emotion. After thanking Mrs. Flowers, Elena disappears into their office.

"I don't know how to thank you, Mrs. Flowers. Elena is a bit fragile right now. Just thank you," Caroline tells her warmly. "If you still want to loose weight, I'd be more than happy to help you?"

"I'd like that, Caroline," she says. Smiling she gives Caroline a nod, adding, "I think your friend needs you." And with that piece of advice, she walks away.

* * *

With his hands immersed in dishwater, Damon uses the back of his forearm to wipe off the beads of sweat that are forming on his forehead. Although he'll put them in the dishwasher too so they're cleaned in hot water, he needs to wash them first because some of the plates have food caked on them. Ric fired Rose, one of the barmaids, for not doing her work and for calling in sick all the time.

Damon will admit that Ric had good reason to terminate her, still he kind of misses chatting with her. She was cute with a mousy brown pixie haircut. Despite her best efforts, he wasn't attracted to her romantically in the least but she did have a good sense of humor and knew how to laugh. He will miss her jokes. She's a lot like Elena in that respect.

Once he finishes loading the dishwasher, he starts to clean the rest of the kitchen then works his way out into the main area of the bar. He fills the mop bucket and then lifts the mop out of the utility room. With muscled arms, he cleans hard wood floor in the dining area and works his way around to the main area of the bar and the pool table. When he finishes with that, he finds the window cleaner to wipe all the fingerprints off of the mirrors. Between filling in as bartender and fry cook, Damon is making pretty good money. He could probably afford a bigger place but he likes where he's at plus he doesn't need anymore.

"Hi, Damon," Meredith says, wrapping a lock of hair around her index finger. Trying to be coy, she smiles shyly. Underneath the demure act, Damon knows she's anything but that. He's felt her claws come out himself when he refused to go out with her a couple of weeks ago.

"Meredith," Damon says, eyeing her up and down before spraying some more of he window cleaner on the mirror by the pool table.

"I was just wondering if maybe you gave some more thought to coming home with me." Putting her lips to his ear, she adds, "I promise that you wont' be disappointed."

"Answer is still the same, Meredith. Maybe Gus over there will take you up on that offer?" he adds, gesturing with his head to the man at the bar.

"I don't want Gus. I want you," she snaps.

"I'm not interested."

Glaring at him, she throws her hair back over her shoulder and stalks out of the bar, stomping her boots all the way. Shaking his head, Damon can't help but laugh. Finishing up, he puts the Windex away and then slips on an apron to take Ric's place behind the bar. The boss asked him not too long ago as to why he never takes advantage of the attention that the women seem all too happy to slather on him. Not wanting to talk about Elena because every time she comes to mind, his heart hurts like a son of a bitch, Damon just keeps his mouth shut. Ric joked that he wouldn't mind being so popular with the ladies but to Damon it's more of a curse than a blessing.

From the back of hallway, having seen the whole Meredith spectacle, Ric eyes Damon as he takes his place behind the bar. He likes the guy and considers him a good friend already but he is mysterious. He can't help but wonder if the guy went through a bad divorce or if he's in the middle of divorce proceedings which would explain why he's not into the dating scene, not right now anyway.

The one time he did get something out of him, Damon admitted that he didn't want to be the one cheating. But he didn't say whether the cheating would be against a wife or a girlfriend. Damon was in jail for thirty months. That's enough to make anyone walk away, Ric supposes. Still, he can't help but think there is more to it. Damon is so stoic and melancholy at times, more often than not actually and he can't help but wonder if a woman has something to do with that.

Walking out of the hallway, he pats the bar to get Damon's attention. "Hey boss. Did you need something?" Damon asks, throwing the bar rag over his shoulder.

"I just wanted to tell you I was leaving," Ric says then turns to walk away. Stopping after a couple of steps, he turns around. "Damon if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here." Without waiting for a reply, he turns around and walks out of the building. Damon watches him pass in front of the big front window till he's jarred from his reverie by someone asking for a drink.

* * *

Driving down the highway, Elena pulls her car into the sadly familiar parking lot. After turning off the engine, she picks up the bouquet of sunflowers that she bought at the store on the way over. Stepping out, she locks the car. It's a beautiful day. The sky is clear with only a few wispy clouds. The air is still, there's no breeze at all. Dandelions are blooming and dying, their seeds waiting to be dispersed when a good brisk wind blows. Clover and violets also dot the perfectly manicured green grass. She figures the groundskeeper must have just mowed because the scent of fresh cut grass is everywhere. The only sounds she hears is vehicles as they pass on the highway behind her.

Stepping through the gated door, she walks the somber path till she gets to the black granite ornament. When she hears a chirping noise, she looks up in the braches of the big Red Oak tree. Purple Martins are singing with boisterous, throaty chirps and creaky rattles. For a moment, she smiles but the melancholy starts to wash over her again as she continues her journey.

Familiar tears begin to leak from her eyes when she reaches the spot. Running her hand along the glassy smooth top of the monument, Elena reaches into her pocket and pulls out a tissue with her other hand. She dabs her eyes then drops to her knees. She notices that his candle has burned out so she makes a mental note to bring a new one the next time she comes or to tell her folks to do so. Laying the sunflowers on grass above where he lays, she touches his face, embossed in the stone with her fingertips.

It may be morbid but she likes spending time out here with him. Reaching into her purse, she pulls out a bottle of water and a sandwich. When she takes a bite, she can't help but think of that woman who attacked her at work. She hasn't had anyone launch into her like that since right after the incident. Each and every time something like that happens, it tears at her heart so viscerally that all she wants to do is run away. Then she thinks of Damon, knowing how he must break a little more each time someone does the same thing to him. It must be so much harder on him. Since the idea of going back to an empty house didn't appeal to her at all, she finds herself here where she's come so many times when she needs to find solace.

Looking at his face again, she suddenly feels a sense of determination begin to burn low in her belly. "Hi Jer, I miss you so much. God, I wish things were different," she says softly, tears again begin to trail down her cheeks. "I know you loved him too and I promise you this. I won't fail him the way I failed you. I'm not going to let him push me away anymore. He's just going to have to face his demons like I've had to face mine." Leaning forward, she presses a kiss to his image, jumps to her feet and walks out of the cemetery with her head held high.

* * *

 _Huge thanks to all of you. I know I say it incessantly but it's true, DE fans are the best. I'm so glad you're liking the story. You'll learn more about what sent Damon to prison as the story moves forward._

 _Thank you Eva. None of these stories would be here without your brilliant mind. Occasionally I come up with plots too but usually I find what sounds like a good title and Eva will put her plot goddess hat on and gets it all planned out. She helps so much setting up scenes, conversation and so much more._

 _Chapter title: 'Desperate Heart' by Steve Stevens._

 _In Elena's memory, the Mrs. Ott mentioned was my neighbor growing up. If she happened to notice either my brother or I put so much as a foot on her grass, she'd start pounding at her window and pointing her finger at us to get off._

 _TNWM and Tomorrow continue. Have a safe and fantastic day. Love you all and thank you again._


	5. Frozen

After a harrowing day at work and then spending time at the cemetery with her brother, Elena is dead tired by the time she pulls into the driveway. Getting out, she reaches for her purse and then walks up the front steps. Taken aback when she sees the door is slightly ajar, she looks from the left to right, wondering if she should go inside or not. Determined not to be scared out of her own home, she very quietly enters her house. Even though her heart is beating out of control as adrenaline reaches a fever pitch, the idea of calling 911 doesn't even pop into her mind. Tiptoeing into the kitchen, she sets her purse on the table. Then ever so softly, she slides open one of the drawers, sighing with relief when she picks up his gun. The cool steel of the metal fits snugly in her hand. Standing up, she checks to make sure its loaded and then grips it tightly with both hands. Carefully she starts checking from room to room to see if she can find the culprit.

Hearing sound coming from the living room, she puts her finger on the trigger and rounds the corner. Ready to shoot whoever it is, she tells him to raise his arms. When he spins around, Elena's heart nearly beats out of her chest when she sees her brother in law standing there. Lowering the gun, she presses her hand over her heart to try to get her breathing under control.

Suddenly enraged, Enzo stomps over to her, "Where the fuck did you get that thing? Are you trying to get into trouble or do you just have a death wish?"

"Seems to me, I almost did kill _you_. Just because you're a cop doesn't mean you have permission to break into people's houses when they're not home?" she snaps back, a hefty dose of sarcasm lacing her tone.

"I didn't break into your house, Elena. The fucking door was open. Do you often leave it unlocked?" he asks, his voice raised, his face reddened with anger. Before she has a chance to say anything else, he takes the gun from her hand, clicks the safety and sets it down on one of the end tables.

"What? No? I never leave my house unlocked."

"When did you get a gun and do you have a permit for it?"

"God, the cops in this family," she seethes, throwing her arms up in frustration. "Of course I have a concealed carry permit. Damon insisted that I be prepared just in case of a home invasion or something else that may arise. Now why are you here?" She eyes him suspiciously while waiting for an answer.

Sighing, Enzo responds, "Bonnie sent me. We worry about you, Elena. Are you alright?"

"Why did she send you?"

"She's pregnant, Elena. She's feeling a bit under the weather, morning sickness."

Visibly deflating, Elena sits down. Dropping her face into her hands, she doesn't know what to think. She's happy for them and sad at the same time. It'll be another niece or nephew that Damon may or may not know. Although she's ashamed of it, she also recognizes jealousy as it begins to creep in around the edges. When she and Damon said I do, she was certain that they'd have a little one too. Now that seems like just another in a long line of impossible, maybe unachievable dreams. Raising her head, her eyes meet his. "Congratulations," she says, genuinely happy for them.

When he nods, Elena offers to make a pot of coffee. She picks up her pistol and then leads him to the kitchen. Once the gun is put away and the coffee brewing, she sits down opposite Enzo at the table. "I have a few questions for you."

"Elena?" he says, running his hand through his perfectly coiffed hair.

Rolling her eyes, Elena gets up to pour them each a cup, hands one to Enzo and then sits back down. Pouring a little sugar and cream her cup, she stirs it up and takes a swallow. After setting it down, she lays her palms flat on the table top and with her gaze firmly on him, she says, "Tell me what you know."

"Elena, I don't know anything new since the last time you asked. He hasn't called and I swear to you that I have no idea where he might have gone. Hell, he might not even be in Santa Fe anymore."

"So let me get this straight. You're a cop and I know full well that you have many friends who are also cops. Both you and Damon told me many times that most of your brothers in arms as it were believe that Damon got a raw deal. Are you seriously going to try to tell me that none of you knows where he is?"

Before he has a chance to defend himself, she launches at him again, "And please don't insult my intelligence with some of your standard bullshit about privacy and infringing on rights because no one cared about my privacy when you were investigating the case. You knew everything there was to know about me and it didn't help him in the least," she blasts, anger and frustration making her tone lethal.

Leaning up over the table, she gets nose to nose with him while poking her index finger repeatedly against his chest. "Now Enzo, you are going to get your lazy ass out of that comfy office chair and you are going to find my husband. I need to know where he is and you are going to tell me. There will be no buts about it... Are we clear?"

* * *

 _Pulling his patrol car to a stop, he walks up the stairs of the dilapidated old house. The anonymous 911 call gave this address. Finding the door ajar, Damon pulls out his gun and carefully pushes it open and steps inside. "Oh God, he says to himself when he sees a man, a woman and two children slaughtered, laying face down in pools of their own blood on the living room floor. Swallowing thickly, bile burns the back of his throat when he sees the boy with his throat slit and the mother with a knife sticking in her back. When his belly starts to churn and his saliva heats up, he runs outside, losing his lunch at the side of the road. As soon as he wipes off his mouth, he reaches for his car radio to call in a multiple homicide._

 _As soon as he hangs up with dispatch, he starts to secure the area. While running the yellow crime scene tape around the property, he happens to notice a man watching him. He has sandy blonde hair, blue eyes, maybe 5' 11", oval shaped face with stubble. Yet his face looks hawkish, almost ruthless looking. The man glares at Damon for a few moments, then nods his head and disappears around the corner. Before Damon has a chance to process the strange encounter, he hears the wale of sirens at the same time he sees the flashing lights of more police vehicles as well as the coroner's van._

"Damon?"

Hearing his name, he snaps out of it. "What can I get for you?" he asks Jenna, one of their regular customers and the girl that Ric is crushing on.

"Red beer," she says, smiling. After he hands it to her, he turns around to start cleaning off the bar top. Moments later, Ric takes the seat beside her allowing Damon to return to his thoughts.

For the life of him, he doesn't know why that incident came to mind. The horror that day will always stay with him. The dead children, he'll never be able to get that picture out of his mind. In truth that case was the beginning of the end of his career.

That man still haunts him in his nightmares. He had been dishonorably discharged from the army for stabbing one of his fellow soldiers. Apparently he took a sick pleasure in inflicting pain. He dabbled in bomb making, but quit when he blinded himself in one eye when it exploded prematurely. He was arrested for starting his mother's house on fire but she had been able to put it out before much damage occurred.

Although from what he remembers of reading in the police report that the woman was terrified of her son, she refused to press charges. Damon also remembers reading how he killed every family pet they had, often in sick perverse ways. He did have a lengthy juvenile record but was expunged after he turned twenty one and joined the service. Damon will never forget the empty cold look in his icy blue eyes. That was the first time Damon ever saw Galen Vaughn.

When he feels something strike his cheek, he turns around, ready to lambaste whoever is throwing popcorn at him but he deflates when he sees Ric raise an eyebrow at him. After filling everyone's drink requests, he clears his mind and joins the conversation with Ric and Jenna, forgetting about Galen Vaughn for now.

* * *

Standing behind the bar, Ric eyes Damon as he scrubs the floor. The guy has been more withdrawn than usual this week. Deciding to try to get him to open up, Ric whistles aloud, attracting Damon's attention. Waving him over, Damon sets the mop aside and then plops down on one of the stools. The place doesn't open for another hour so Ric pours Damon a cup of coffee and then asks, "Is that about a woman? I know a thing or two about bad divorces. You can talk to me."

When their eyes meet, Damon considers him. After taking a long swallow of coffee, he sets it down. Raking his hand through his hair, he offers, "Something like that, Ric. I need to get a divorce. She's a good woman. I just don't want her involved in all of this bullshit that I've gotten myself into." Dropping his eyes for a moment, he stares at dark brown liquid in his cup. Reaching for the sugar jar, he sprinkles a little in and stirs it up with the spoon Ric hands him. "The sooner we end things, the sooner we can both move on with our lives."

Staring at him, Ric translates the body language to mean that the wife made him feel useless and invaluable. Hell, that's how his own wife made him feel. Somehow knowing that he's gotten as much out of Damon as he's going to, he drops the subject, refills Damon's coffee and then turns his attention back to the order form he has in front of him.

* * *

Restless and unable to sleep, Damon rolls onto his back and stares at the ceiling. His conversation with Ric is weighing heavily on his mind. Raising up on one arm, he reaches into the drawer at his bedside. Finding the small velveteen box, he opens it up and pulls out his wedding band. It's a slim platinum band that Elena worked hard to pay for. Although he doesn't wear it, he can't get rid of it either. And yet he knows that he needs to be strong for both himself and for her. As long as they're linked, she'll never move on, never be happy.

 _Walking hand in hand along the river's edge, Elena stoops over to pick up a tiny clam shell. "Look!" she squeals, so excited at finding such a treasure. He doesn't think she'd be any more excited if she had found a gold nugget. In an instant, she drops to her knees in the wet sand to dig for more. He stands back watching her, completely in awe of the woman he fell completely in love with. When she finds another, she looks up at him, her face beaming, her smile ear to ear._

 _Unnoticed by either of them, the clouds start to darken. When the sun is shrouded, Damon looks up just as the first drops of rain start to fall. Knowing that water and lightning have the potential to be a lethal combination, he grabs her hand and starts to drag her through tall grasses, leading her back to his car. They're still a good distance from it when the sky opens up, drenching them completely in a matter of a few moments. Pulling away, Elena starts to dance in the grass, not giving a wit to the fact that she looks like a drowned rat with her stringy hair and runny mascara. What draws Damon's attention is the way her nipples tighten and dimple against the lacy material of her sundress. Her curves are beautifully displayed by the way the wet material clings to them._

 _Feeling himself harden, he closes the distance between them, cradles her face in his palms then drops his lips to hers in a torrid kiss that sears both of their insides. Pulling away, Elena's smile is electric and so full of life when she blurts out, "Promise me this is forever?"_

 _With a twinkle in his eyes, he recalls their wedding day, making the same vow then as he is now, "I promise." With that, he kisses her again and lays her down on the soft wet grass._

Immediately melancholy and despair fill Damon's mind. He'll never forget the look of utter devastation on her face when the Judge sentenced him to prison. Every time she would visit him, she'd try to wear a happy face but he knows her so well. He could see the despair beneath her pretend sunny disposition. As much as he loves her and even looked forward to her visits, in the end, it hurt to much to see her pain. He never wanted that for her.

She deserves someone strong and whole, not the shell of a man he is now. Not after the unimaginable things that happened in prison. Crippled emotionally, Damon knows he'll never again be the man she fell in love with. Toying with the ring, he slides in on his finger. He'll take it off again in the morning. Running his fingertips of his other hand over the smooth metal, he decides that he'll have to contact a divorce lawyer and even worse than that, he'll have to grit his teeth and face his mother.

* * *

Rather than call his mom on the phone, Damon puts on his big boy pants, one leg at a time to make the trip in person. Having had a talk with Ric about what he needed to do, the guy generously offered him the use of his car for the day. With the gas tank low, he has to fill it before he can go. While filling it, he looks over at the road, stunned speechless when he recognizes Elena when her car pulls to a stop at the red light.

Ducking behind the pump just in case she would happen to look this way, he still manages to keep an eye on her. She's still so breathtakingly beautiful. His heart hurts at the though of never being able to touch her soft skin again, never being able to bury himself in her compliant body, never being able to touch her lips that would set his blood ablaze. Shaking himself out of it, he looks up once more just in time to see her drive away when the light turns green.

After paying for his gas and an energy drink, he jumps behind the wheel and pulls up to the very same stoplight. Turning left, he drives south till he reaches the I-25 exit and then continues in a southwest direction till he reaches the outskirts of Albuquerque a little more than an hour later. When he finally turns onto her block, he drives slowly, looking at the familiar sights and sounds of his old neighborhood. On the corner to his right is the park where he and Bonnie used to play. There's also the baseball field where he played little league ball. Bonnie played on a girl's softball team. He has fond memories of his father and how he patiently taught him how to hit a baseball. He misses his dad so much. They started doing missionary work again once he and Bonnie started college. His father came down with Malaria. Despite being flown back to the US for treatment, he succumbed to it.

Parking alongside the curb, he stares at his house for a little bit. It's the same brick house with the big porch, the built in flower bed blooming with Petunias of every color. His dad loved them while the hanging planters hold geraniums which his mom loves. Biting down on his lip, he finally makes himself get out of the car. Putting one foot in front of the other, he walks up the five steps to the porch. Raising his hand, he stares at the doorbell for a few seconds before finally summoning the courage to push it. Moments pass and then it opens up and suddenly Damon finds himself face to face with her, blue eyes meeting blue eyes.

Without hesitation, she pulls him into her arms, hugging him with all her strength. He can feel his tee shirt getting wet from her tears. When she pulls back, she grabs his arm and pulls him into the house and directly into the kitchen. Pointing at the kitchen chair, she then reaches into the fridge to hand him a can of beer and a plate of sandwiches from Subway. That was always his favorite birthday meal. She would order a platter and then he'd eat on it for the next day too. Smiling, at the thought, he takes a big bite and then swallows it down with a swig of beer.

"Now that you have something in your stomach, shame on you for getting out and not calling me. Why did I need to learn from your sister that you had been released?"

"I'm sorry mom. It's just so hard trying to adjust back into society."

"What about Elena? Bonnie says you didn't call her either? What's going on with you, Damon?"

"Mama, give it some time, please.. I just can't, not right now anyway. She's been through so much already. She shouldn't have to face this for the rest of her life," Damon adds, his voice cracking at the end.

"That my dear boy is entirely up to you. But I know for a fact that she's not coping well. She's miserable because she loves you with everything she has and you are keeping her at arm's length and more."

"Mama, please? I can't talk about her, I just can't," he pleads, standing up to pull another beer out of the refrigerator. Sitting back down, he picks up another sandwich. In his heart, he knows she's right about Elena but he can't let her talk him out of what his head knows is the right thing to do.

* * *

It's a warm sunshiny day. Elena is outside, pushing Noelle on the swing set. Looking up, she smiles when she sees Bonnie approaching holding a glass of lemonade for each of them and a popsicle for her daughter. Lifting the little girl out of the swing, she carries her over to the picnic table. Once she's seated, her mommy hands her the blue icy treat.

"Yummy," she says, taking a long lick without hesitation.

Sitting down beside her, Elena can't help but smile. She's an adorable little girl. Despite all the uncertainty between her and Damon right now, she hasn't given up hope entirely that one day they will have a family of their own. Having closed her aerobics studio early after getting a call from Enzo, she has spent the afternoon with Bonnie and her niece. She is anxious for him to get home so he can explain why he told her to come over. Picking up her glass of lemonade, she's just about to take a swallow when she hears the patio doors slide open. She frowns when she notices decidedly sour look that he has on his face. Bonnie picks up on his mood right away.

"Daddy," Noelle squeals, jumping off the picnic table and straight into his arms.

"Did mommy give you a popsicle?" he asks, dropping a kiss to her hair.

Bobbing her head up and down and after taking a lick, she says, "Ah ha." Then without warning, she shoves it at his lips, making her daddy laugh. Elena is moved by it and saddened too because she knows that Damon would be a wonderful father. Sensing her mood shift, Bonnie gets up and walks over to her husband and daughter. Taking Noelle into his arms, she says she's going inside so he and Elena can have a few words.

After giving his wife and daughter a kiss, he slowly walks towards Elena. Dropping onto the other side of the picnic table, he picks up his wife's drink and takes a big swallow. Having run out of patience a long time ago already, Elena looks at him intently. Raising an eyebrow, she asks, "Well...?"

"He's working at a Ric's, it's a bar downtown. It's a nice place from what I've been told. Some of the guys go there for lunch. They have seen him, Elena."

"Ric's? I've never heard of it."

"It's been open for a couple of years now. Owner is a decent guy. I've met him a time or two," he adds, pausing for a moment to take another drink. "I know that look, Elena.. Please.. just don't do anything stupid that will make him run again."

"No need to worry about that, Enzo. For now, his ass can stay right where it is..."

* * *

 _Huge thanks to all of you for_ _reviews, follows, favorites, encouraging words and endless support and friendship. You're all the BEST._

 _Huge thanks to Eva. You're the one my friend and I love you dearly._

 _Chapter title: 'Frozen' by Within Temptation._

 _Please check out my amazing writer friends - Salvatoreboys4ever, Florencia7, Morvamp, Michelle, aka LoveEpicLove hasn't posted in years but she still has some great stories posted here. Delenadreams, TheLittle MissVixen, VitsAsh, Mariah April May, MovingOnIsNeverEasy and Deepwater1978. They're a very talented and very kind group of people._

 _I did post the final chapter of 'The Night We Met'. 'Tomorrow' will update next._

 _Have a safe and phenomenal day and weekend ahead. Thank you all again. You're the best._


	6. Grow or Pay

_Hearing the car's engine, Elena looks out through the kitchen window just as Damon pulls into the driveway. She isn't sure of the specifics but she knows he's exhausted both physically and emotionally. When the engine turns off, she drops her eyes back to the dishes in the sink but when he doesn't come inside, she looks out again, frowning when she sees his head resting against the steering wheel. Instinctively knowing that something isn't right, she dries her hands and then walks outside._

 _Not wanting to startle him, she approaches gingerly. Since he's not moving, she raps on the car window. Turning his head, he looks at her, their eyes meeting through the shatterproof glass. She can see how tired he is, the vivid blue of his eyes is dull and lifeless almost. When he gestures for her to step back, she does so, allowing him to get out of the car._

 _"Damon, what's wrong?"_

 _"Nothing that a little rest won't cure," he says, the lie falling smoothly from his mouth. Stepping around her, he walks into the house, leaving her behind. For whatever reason, she just can't shake the sense of dread that has been gnawing at her insides all day. Now it's painfully obvious that something is up with him. As desperately as she wants to talk to him about Jeremy, she doesn't want to burden him either when he's this despondent. Shaking her head, not knowing what to do, she finally goes into the house. She finds him chugging on a bottle of beer when she steps into the kitchen to check on their meal._

 _"Damon? You can talk to me."_

 _"Would you just please leave it alone, Elena?" he snaps. After tossing the empty bottle in the waste basket, he turns his back to her and grips the edge of the sink. His biceps are bulging, the set of his jaw is tightly drawn so it's quite obvious to her that he's very upset about something._

 _"You don't need to bite my head off. I haven't done anything wrong," she adds, anger and resentment beginning to build at his dismissive attitude. He's edgy and obviously in no mood to talk but he has no right to take it out on her. Leaning against the stove handle, she stares at him. Suddenly he spins around and steps toe to toe with her._

 _"I told you that I don't want to talk about it. How much more clear do I have to make myself?"_

 _She steps back, putting a little distance between them when she sees how livid he is. So much so that his face is red, his brows are cinched together and his forehead is furrowed. If looks could kill..._

 _"You're scaring me, Damon. What is it?"_

 _Looking at her like she has two heads, he finally steps back, shakes his head and grabs his keys off the hook. "Don't wait up for me."_

 _Without saying another word, he's out of the door. Barely able to take a breath, she runs outside just as he's pulling out of the driveway. When he turns his head, their eyes meet for a moment before he steps on the gas, his tires squealing as he disappears in a cloud of smoke._

 _Stunned, Elena goes back into the house, turns off the stove and goes into the living room. She doesn't know if she dares go after him. Knowing that something bad must have happened at work that he's such a wreck, she decides to wait up for him. Picking up a book, she lays down on the couch and starts to read, soon dozing off. When she hears the front door close, she jumps upright just as he's walking into the living room. Feeling guilty himself, Damon sits down and leans back into the couch._

 _Taking her hand in his, he squeezes it gently as he says softly, "I'm sorry, Elena. I had no right to treat you so abysmally."_

 _Although she can smell the bourbon on his breath, she knows he's not drunk. "What happened Damon? Why were you so upset with me?" When she lays her hand atop his, their eyes meet. She can see remorse burning clearly in the depths of those endless pools of blue. Elena watches as he shakes his head back a forth, warring with himself for a few seconds. When their eyes meet again, he brings her hand to his lips and gently brushes a kiss to it._

 _"It wasn't you Elena. It's work. There was one dead family several months ago. Slit throats, children, parents, I still have nightmares sometimes. We had another one about three weeks ago, two children slaughtered in their beds, their parents gutted in theirs. I've never seen such carnage. That is until today. My God, Elena. The inhumanity of it all," he whispers, his eyes glistening with moisture as he struggles to keep his composure. The same thing today, three more murdered children. They were each shot to death in their beds. It looked like the girl may have...," Unable to say the words, he only whispers, "She was a baby Elena, maybe ten, I don't know. The two boys were both shot in the head, the mother dead in the bathtub. Their father found them. How can I unsee that?"_

 _Horrified and stunned into silence, Elena pulls him into her arms and gently runs her fingers through his messy dark hair. "I... I don't know what to say, Damon. I wish I could take that memory away forever. The lack of human decency is beyond comprehension," she says softly, dropping a kiss to his head._

 _"I.. I can't get over the feeling that he's watching me. I know it's insane but he's good, he's very good. He leaves very little behind at the crime scenes. I'm scared, Elena."_

 _Not knowing what to say, she holds her husband close, whispering over and over how much she loves him. And despite his apology and as much as she knows it's sincere, she is afraid of the darkness that she sees insidiously spreading inside of him like a cancer._

"Mam, would you like a refill?" the waitress asks, standing at Elena's side, carafe in hand.

"Yes, please," she says, sliding her cup over. She feels almost like a criminal the way she's staring at the bar across the street. As much as she wants to go in that bar guns blazing figuratively that is, she can't help but remember Enzo's admonition, that he may run again and the next time, she may not find him. She can't give up, she won't. Her husband is still there, she knows he is. He's just lost and unable to find his way out of the fog. She married him for better or worse. Although she thinks they've had more than their fair share of worse, her father didn't raise her to be a quitter. After finishing her second cup of coffee, she pays her tab, squares her shoulders and marches across the street, Ric's bar getting closer and closer with each step she takes.

* * *

Hearing the door swing open, Ric looks up, his eyes widening when he sees the lady walk in. He eyes her for a moment, almost as if he expects a guy to walk in behind her. When their eyes meet, he smiles and says hello when she plops herself down on one of the stools.

"Hi there," Elena says, laying her purse down on the bar top.

"What's your poison?" he asks, trying not to be obvious with his flirting.

"Bourbon."

Having expected her to order some kind of girly drink, he's a little surprised but delightfully so. Picking up the bottle, he slides a glass in front of her and then fills it. "A lady who knows how to drink, I like it," he teases, giving her a wink. Picking it up, Elena drinks half of it in one swallow, not flinching in the slightest. Her dad didn't raise a lightweight.

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" he asks, clearly impressed.

"Yeah there is actually. I need my husband and I think you're just the one to help me."

Stepping back, his mouth parts slightly. She wouldn't be the first jilted or cheated on woman who's looking for husband that's come in here. Still, if he had to wager a guess, he'd bet money that she was here for Damon. "I'm sure I don't know what you are talking..."

"Don't try to bullshit a bull shitter," she retorts, trying to keep her voice even and direct.

"As I started to say before you rudely interrupted is that I don't know who you're talking about."

"I am asking nicely. I NEED to talk to Damon Salvatore," she says, emphasizing the word need. "Now, Ric, I can assure you that I have nothing better to do than sit right here and wait him out. Whether that's minutes or days is dependent on him."

"Lady," he shakes his head, feeling weirdly protective of his new friend. He also sees the firm set of her jaw and the resolve in her eyes. He knows she's being truthful when she says she'll wait him out. After yelling for Lexi, one of his employees to watch the bar for a few minutes, he tells Elena to stay where she is.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Absolutely positive, Ricky," she replies, tossing back what's left in her glass. Shaking his head, he walks away. Pausing before he walks down the hallway, he looks back at Elena. When their eyes meet, he sees the steely resolve burning hard and hot in her pupils. Without saying another word, he disappears down the hallway, hoping that their meeting won't erupt in shouts and slaps and whatnot.

* * *

Before going to the police academy, Damon dabbled in a number of jobs both while in high school and before finding his calling. After having his feet kicked out from under him, Damon is finding that he quite enjoys working here in the bar with Ric. It's simple and yet he feels like he belongs. He knows he's very lucky having stumbled onto this job with no effort at all. Maybe he can help Ric make it a roaring success. It's the least he can do after the man took a chance with him. Picking up a clean spoon, he tastes the chowder he's been slaving over for a couple of hours. Thinking it tastes a little bland, he throws a pinch of cayenne pepper and some scallions in and then stirs it up.

The last couple of days have been emotionally trying. He had an appointment with a divorce lawyer and quite honestly, he's been able to table the grief about cutting her out of his life for a few hours at a time. Although he's dreading having to hand her the papers, he knows it's for the best. She doesn't need to be dragged down to rock bottom right along with him. He also knows full well that he'll be throwing the best parts of himself away right along with her but he can't think about that right now. It hurts too much. And quite frankly he's happy to have a respite here in the kitchen.

When he hears the creak of the door, he looks over his shoulder, smirking when he sees Ric. "Do you want to taste this for me? I think I'll add either some sausage or bacon." Damon extends a spoon but Ric pushes his hand down gently. Seeing the uneasy look on his face, Damon, puts the spoon down. "What's up?"

"There's a lady at the bar, says she's your wife."

"Say what?" Damon asks incredulously, the color draining from his face. Feeling his knees going weak, he grabs onto the counter for support, gripping so hard that his nailbeds and knuckles whiten. Feeling his heart slamming in this throat, he tries to suck in a breath of air. Almost feeling a little panicked, he drops his chin to his chest to try to collect some semblance of control.

"Pretty brunette, endless brown eyes, drinks bourbon without flinching. She demands to see you, says she won't move until you do."

"Fuck," Damon snaps in shock. As much as he knows that he needs to distance himself emotionally, he's both amused and a little proud of her audacity. "That's her alright," he mumbles, cursing under his breath, he follows Ric out of the kitchen ready to face hell and damnation in heels.

* * *

Nervous, Elena's heart is beating chaotically. Between that and the vortex of an F5 tornado that is churning and twisting her insides, she feels suddenly nauseous. Dropping her eyes to the empty crystal tumbler, she spins it between her two hands, her eyes darting between the glass and the hallway that Ric disappeared down maybe ten minutes ago now. Wondering if there's maybe a back door that Damon could escape through, she jumps to her feet. Just as she reaches the hallway, she hears his voice.

Frozen, she stares as if she hasn't seen him in years. He looks good, he's gained a little weight, his hair cut but he's wearing a few days growth of stubble. She desperately wants to feel his arms around her again but when she sees his face, her heart slams hard, nearly taking her breath away. When their eyes meet for the first time since that rainy day at the prison, she doesn't see love, she sees something else. By the mere fact of his body language, she knows that he doesn't want her here.

Having been beaten badly in prison, he still wears the scars on his back, ones that he doesn't ever want her to see. As much as he wants to wrap her in his embrace and never let her go, he won't lead her on, not when the day is approaching when their divorce papers will be delivered to her. Because of his prison schooling, he knows how to disguise his feelings. As such, he hardens his heart, vowing not to let her worm her way inside.

Turmoil is roiling in his belly but he has to hold it together, not just for himself but for her too. "What are you doing here, Elena?" he bites, his jaw tightening with barely suppressed anger.

"What do you think I'm doing here? Since you didn't bother to come by and say hello or even tell me that you were out, I decided to slay the beast myself," she snaps, raising her chin in determination. Again because she knows him maybe better than he knows himself, she can see the war brewing behind his now fiery blue eyes.

"Whatever you think your doing, you're wrong. I'm not letting you go that easily. I'm not going to give up on us. I've waited too long...," she falters, her voice trailing off when she sees something she doesn't recognize in him. Cruelty.

"You're wrong Elena. I'm not him, not anymore. Too many things have happened. You need to let go." When he sees that he's got her behind the eight ball, he goes in for the kill shot, "I don't love you anymore. You need to let me go."

"You're lying," she says, trying with everything in her to keep her tears inside. Feeling lightheaded and sick to her stomach, she takes a step closer, wanting to, no needing to touch him. She knows he's lying, he has to be. When she raises her hand, he jumps back and out of reach. Her heart catches in her chest, her lips start to quiver but still she's unable to look away.

Damon's heart is beating just as frantically. He feels the dagger twist in painfully when he sees what his words did to her. When she tries to approach him once more, Ric steps between the two of them. Having lived through an extremely painful divorce and a cheating wife, Ric thinks he knows all too well what Damon is going through. Raising his palm, he says to Elena, "Lady, you need to leave. He doesn't want you here. I don't want you here. You're not welcome in my bar."

As if Ric waved the red flag, Elena's pain morphs into anger. With her fuse now lit, she gets into his face. "I'll go for now. You're not getting rid of me that easily. I will be back. And Damon, if running away crossed your mind for even a millisecond, you can bet your last dollar that I will find you. If that means selling everything I own, we own, to hire a private detective, I will do so. If it takes till my dying day so be it. You will not have a moment's peace knowing that it's only a matter of time before I catch up with you," she adds, raising her chin in defiance, daring him to try it.

Although he's impressed with her fire, he covers it well, growling at her, "You wouldn't dare..."

"Have you ever known me to back down from a challenge?" Before he can answer, Elena picks up her bag and marches out of the bar, her head held high and Damon mouth agape.

* * *

Angry and wanting to rip someone's head off, Elena's breath is coming out hard and hot in short puffs. Feeling the first painful throbs of a migraine, her vision starts to blur but it quickly sharpens when she sees Ric hurrying towards her down the sidewalk. Although he towers over her, she gives no quarter, holding her ground when he glares down at her. When he flashes her with a lethal stare, she gives it right back. Never one to cower, she steps forward forcing him to take a step back. It's almost like they're Hamilton and Burr ready to raise pistols in a duel as they circle and bob around each other.

"Mrs... lady, I think you need to give him a break. I mean, from what I can see you've already done enough damage. Or are you the type of person who won't be satisfied till you squeeze the last drop of blood out of him? He did his time and you should let him go. He wants peace and quiet and to start a new life."

The unmitigated gall of this man, Elena seethes. Even though a part of her can see that he seems genuinely concerned about Damon, their marriage is none of his business. It infuriates her even more that he's inserting himself in this.

Not willing to give him even an inch, she gets right in his face and spits, "That's not up to you, Mr. whoever you are. I resent your insinuations about my marriage. He decided to fight me without even giving me any say in the matter. I've made decisions for myself the whole time he was in prison. I'm not some wallflower that you can push around. I'm just as stubborn as he is. And believe me, you don't want to get between us because I'll bite back." After leveling him with a venomous stare, Elena turns on her heels and walks away, leaving Ric wondering what the hell just happened here.

* * *

 _Sneak peak chapter 7:_ _"Yes, Officer Salvatore, I'm telling you that I believe it's the same man," their psychological profiler, Rose Watson, explains to homicide Detective Mason Lockwood and the officers assigned to the case till they get this madman behind bars. "I feel that he's purposely changing the crime scenes around a little bit so we won't be able to pin all the crimes on him."_

* * *

 _Please keep the people of Houston and the surrounding areas in your thoughts._

 _Massive thanks to all of you for_ _reviews, follows, favorites, encouraging words and endless support and friendship. You're all the BEST._

 _Huge thanks to Eva. This certainly would not exist without you. I love you dearly and I hope you feel better soon._

 _Chapter title: 'Grow or Pay' by D.A.D_

 _Have a safe and wonderful day._


	7. One Child

_"Yes, Officer Salvatore, I'm telling you that I believe it's the same man," their psychological profiler, Rose Watson, explains to homicide Detective Mason Lockwood and the officers assigned to the case till they get this madman behind bars. "I feel that he's purposely changing the crime scenes around a little bit so we won't be able to pin all the crimes on him."_

 _"I don't understand?" Mason offers after sharing a look with Damon._

 _"At the first crime scene, there was a star painted in blood on the mirror. At the second one, there was a piece of paper with a tree drawn in blood affixed to a magnet on the refrigerator. At the third one, the ten year old girl was molested, her blood used to paint her face."_

 _Remembering the image so clearly, Damon's stomach begins to churn at the thought. As hard as he tries, he can't choke back the nausea that's beginning to burn hot in his belly and into his throat. When he can't hold it any longer, he runs out of the room, barely reaching the men's room before he loses what little he ate before he left his house this morning._

 _As soon as he rinses out his mouth and splashes some cold water on his face, he goes back to join the others just as the pathologist takes over for Rose. He goes onto explain that the perpetrator has used knives, a gun and whatever was available to inflict blunt force trauma. He pounded the father's head so many times in the second crime scene that all that was left was a bloody mess of brain matter and bone fragments. It was gruesome. That's something else than Damon can't erase from his mind._

 _When the meeting is over, they call it a day since it's nearly six in the evening. Damon says goodnight then hurries outside to his car. Looking around, he sees a man across the street staring at him. Feeling a chill erupt and spread inside of him, he drops his eyes to unlock the door but when he looks up the man is gone. Not understanding why he's feeling so off balance, Damon drives home, stopping on the way to pick up a six pack. He thinks about the meeting, they've painstakingly gone through every piece of evidence but he can't seem to shake the feeling that they're missing something._

 _Looking in his rearview mirror, he sees a black sedan with tinted windows trailing him rather closely. He makes a few unnecessary turns, each time the car follows. Determined to confront whoever it is, Damon pulls into a grocery store parking lot. After stopping his car, he steps out, seeing a silhouette of a man in the driver's seat before he makes a right turn at the corner, disappearing before Damon can go after him. Because he didn't get a good look at the guy behind the darkened glass, he thinks he's losing his mind._

 _Several days later, Damon is once again the first to arrive at what turns out to be another murder scene. As soon as he sees the woman, lying naked in the bathtub with her head bashed in, nausea begins to burn hot in his belly. Blood is congealed on the floor beside the tub where her head is leaning. He hears the drip, drip, drip of the bathtub's spigot. Knowing he can't contaminate the crime scene, he runs outside to his patrol car to call for forensics and homicide._

 _Sliding behind the wheel, he picks up the radio and starts to call it in. Just as he starts to speak, he happens to notice the ferret faced man across the street staring at him. When he hears the operator's voice, he snaps out of it, telling her the information. When he looks up again, the man has vanished. Getting out of the car, Damon looks around in a 360 degree rotation but doesn't see him anywhere, he's simply gone. This is the second time a woman has been found in a bathtub. Damon has to wonder what the bastard's motivations could possibly be? What kind of a sick son of a bitch does this?_

After he finishes loading the dishwasher again, Damon turns it on and then pulls out a chair to sit down. Dropping his face into his hands, he realizes how tired he is, much more so mentally than physically. Seeing her again and her grim determination drained the life out of him. He's thankful, incredibly so quite honestly that the crowd picked up after she stalked out, her chin held firm in defiance. What the hell is the matter with him? He should have known that she wouldn't just cower in a corner like a meek little lamb. She's going to fight him every step of the way. He's going to have to think of something to bring the hammer down so she has no choice but to accept that the marriage is irrevocably broken. Despite how bad he is for her, it took everything he had not to pull her into his arms and kiss her into next week.

"You can't think like that, not anymore, Damon," he says aloud, chastising himself.

Ric finds him in the kitchen maybe an hour after he knows that she left. When Damon sees the curious expression on Ric's face, he feels like his heart literally stops beating for a few seconds, afraid that maybe Elena is making an encore appearance.

"No, um it's not her .. I don't know what it is about today.. Perhaps they've decided that you've been away for too long," Ric adds cryptically.

"What?"

"Someone else is here, I think it's maybe one of your old colleagues?"

Damon knows that cops come in here for lunch quite often. Fortunately he's either been in the kitchen or doing some errand for Ric when they're around. Seeing them brings back too many memories and other things that should stay buried. Nodding his head, Damon stands up and rather stoically follows Ric into the customer area.

Seeing the familiar figure of his brother in law, he realizes that he shouldn't be surprised. Shaking his head, he takes the seat beside him. Without looking up, he utters, "Enzo, I should have known."

Jerking his head to his right, Enzo relaxes slightly when he doesn't see anger coloring Damon's features. "Brother... I'm sorry to interrupt your whatever this is," he starts to say, pausing to sweep his arm around the bar, before adding, "I just feel that I should warn you that Elena may storm this bar at any minute."

"You're a little late. She's already been here."

"Shit," he says, his face draining of color. Smiling tightly, Damon just pats his shoulder. Since Enzo is wearing street clothes, he's not on duty so Damon says to him. "I'm done cooking for the day. Let's go upstairs to talk." Standing up, he takes the bottle that Ric hands him then leads Enzo down the hall and up the stairs and into his apartment.

Hearing Damon's door close, Ric sighs with relief. At least he knows that this guy doesn't mean Damon any harm, not like that woman, he thinks to himself.

* * *

 _Walking out of police headquarters after a long day, Damon happens to notice the ice cream van turning into the park at the end of the block. Thinking to himself that an ice bar sounds kind of good, he crosses the street and hurries down the block. As soon as he reaches the park, he hears a child's cry, the sound piercing his gut. It's almost as if he can feel the knife viciously gutting him. Damon runs into the park, looking everywhere and yet he can't find anyone._

 _When he pauses to catch his breath, he drops his eyes, gasping when he sees blood spreading all over his middle. In shock, he starts to stumble forward but catches himself before he lands face first in the dirt. He looks down a second time, he can't believe his own eyes when he sees nothing but the crisp white of his uniform shirt._

 _It's then that he hears the organ grinder music that's coming from the ice cream van. With his mind a million miles away, he walks toward it, nearly getting knocked over by a man. After sharing a quick look with Damon, he mumbles a barely there "sorry," before hurrying off. Thinking the man looked vaguely familiar, Damon looks again just in time to see him turn the corner._

 _After getting himself an ice cream sandwich, Damon starts walking back to headquarters where his car is parked. As he takes the last bite of it, he suddenly remembers the guy waving at him near the first crime scene and the way the sun reflected off of his dog-tags when he turned the corner and moved out of Damon's visual field._

"Damon?"

"Sorry, Enzo. I'm a little out of sorts today. I suppose I have you to thank for that," he says, raising his eyebrows as he pours them each a glassful of bourbon. "She's scary as hell when she wants to be," he adds, taking a long pull from his glass before sitting down on the other end of the couch, opposite of Enzo.

"You're not leaving are you? Your sister and your mother would kill me," Enzo mentions, taking a sip of the finely aged bourbon.

"SHE said and I'm paraphrasing here, "If I leave she will find me no matter how long it takes." Filling his glass again, he takes another sip. Turning to face his brother in law again, his hand tightens around the glass he's holding.

"I really wish you hadn't told her but I guess it was inevitable that she'd show up one way or another." Damon is honestly quite proud of himself for keeping his temper in check. After sharing another drink, Enzo glances at his watch.

"I need to get home or Bonnie will suspect something so unless you want her beating down your back too, I better get going."

Staring at him for a second as if in a trance, Damon finally adds, "I'll walk out with you."

Knowing that he wants to get good and drunk tonight, Damon leaves the bottle but follows Enzo downstairs. He leads him over to the bar to introduce him to Ric. Enzo decides to have one more drink with them. Sitting down at the bar, Enzo and Ric chat like they've known each other for years. Damon can't help but crave at the normalness of three guys bonding over booze.

* * *

 _Between the pathologist's autopsy reports, specifics, Rose's psychological profile and Damon's insistence that there's something hinky about the guy with the dog tags, their lead detective, Mason Lockwood contacts the local army recruiter's office. Since Damon is the only one that's seen this mysterious character, he accompanies Mason to the Los Alamos where they have an army facility. To maintain the legality of it, Mason has subpoena signed by Judge Gors to give him access to records. It's about a forty five minute drive._

 _Once they arrive, they're immediately taken to the CO's office. As soon as Mason hands him the subpoena, he takes them access to the Human Resources Department. The woman gives them pictures of past and present personal matching that are close to the description Damon provides. The day wears on with Damon only breaking long enough to pee and get a cup of coffee. By mid afternoon a frustrated Damon finally recognizes his picture. The ferret face, the black, dead looking eyes, he's positive that he's the man he saw._

 _"That's Galen Vaughn. He was dishonorably discharged eighteen months ago. The guy was a real piece of work," the CO says when Damon and Mason hand him the picture after going back to his office. "He never should have been accepted into the military. He was dark, a loner. We found out later on that he used to kill stray pets, cats, dogs, anything that he could catch and torture. He's a very sick man."_

 _"I need to take his file with me for evidence," Mason informs him. With the General's nod, Damon follows Mason out of the building. Getting into his car, Damon stares through the window all the way back to Santa Fe, barely saying two words to Detective Lockwood. After parking the car at police headquarters, Mason turns to Damon, "Are you okay, Salvatore?"_

 _"Yeah," is all he says and then gets out of the car. The next several days are spent casing bars, going down dark alleys, any place they can think of that he'd like to haunt. Rose directs them to the type of places she surmises that he'll hang out at. In constant stress, Damon is eating Rolaids like candy, his insides constantly roiling, his anxiety reaching a fevered pitch. His relationship with his wife is deteriorating, he can't remember the last time they had sex. He's too edgy, anxiety quietly robbing him of his once easy going personality._

 _After they find the fourth murder scene, he finishes up with the detectives and then drives home. Pulling the car into the driveway, Damon is exhausted both physically and emotionally. After turning off the engine, he drops his head against the steering wheel and closes his eyes. As much as he loves his wife, he doesn't want to burden her with this. His belly is churning like a tsunami causing bile to burn at the back of his throat. He's certain he's going to have an ulcer before this case is solved._

 _Angry and spiraling, Damon hurries into the house. As soon as he changes clothes, he runs downstairs, two at a time. Needing to escape for a few hours, he just about reaches the door when he feels her eyes on him. Spinning around, he stalks up to her, glaring down, he tells her to leave him the hell alone. With that, he turns on his heels and walks out of the door, slamming it shut so hard that the windows rattle._

 _Even in his mood, he knows not to drive drunk so he spends half the night going from bar to bar to bar. Although he wants nothing more than to lose himself to a bottle and inside of a woman, he can't do that to her, not to her. Buzzed but not incoherent, he gets up to leave. When he's propositioned leaving the bar, he pushes past the blonde to drag himself home. Elena is his world but he knows he's going to break and if he breaks, she breaks too._

* * *

By the time Elena gets home from downtown, she has had it for the day. Exhaustion and anger combine to make her want to claw someone's eyes out quite honestly. She finds Damon's best bourbon hiding on the top shelf in the kitchen. Even though she refused to drink it while he was in prison, she feels that she more than earned it today. Lifting herself up on the counter, she reaches for it, sets it on the countertop and then jumps down. After she pours herself a generous glassful, she goes into the living room. Dropping onto the recliner, she kicks off her shoes, raises her feet and then takes a well deserved swallow, savoring the burn as it goes down.

She wanted to smack that Ric guy good for inserting himself in their marriage. Despite their less than stellar introduction, it wasn't lost on her that he seems to care about Damon. But dammit, he's her husband, he should be confiding in her and not some barkeeper that he just met. Just thinking about the day lights her fuse all over again. Not bothering with the TV or anything else, she sips the drink slowly till it's gone hoping that it'll help her sleep. All in for the day, she goes upstairs, changes into her pajamas and then crawls into bed. Since she has to be at her parents tomorrow, she wishes that she could have a dreamless sleep for once but doubts that she'll get it. Although her body drifts into slumber, her mind simply won't turn off.

 _Worried sick, Elena doesn't know what to do. Damon just stormed out, leaving her no idea where he went. With his frame of mind as it is, a part of her is terrified that he may not come back. In frustration, she turns the TV to one of their local stations. Andie Starr is broadcasting from the scene of yet another gruesome murder. Elena watches intently. When the on scene cameraman pans around, she sees Damon standing by his police cruiser talking to someone in a suit._

 _Now she knows what has him so worked up. These murders are taking their toll on him, mind and body. She debates for a few minutes but in the end, she picks up the phone, calling Enzo to see if he can tell her anymore. Unfortunately he knows nothing but offers to help her look for him. Grateful for his help, they split up, he takes one part of downtown while she takes another. About ready to give up, a teary and frantic Elena finally sees him stumbling down the block. Running after him, she grabs at the same time his boot catches in a hole in the sidewalk, sending them both sprawling to the pavement._

 _"What's going on with you?" she asks after helping him up. Her own knees and elbows are scraped and bleeding but she says nothing to him. He stares not at her but through her. Knowing he can't fight her, he lets her lead him to their car. Quiet all the way home, he follows her into the house and goes straight to bed without uttering a word._

* * *

It's late in the evening but having called his wife, Enzo is still at the bar with Ric and Damon. He's having a good time. When he gets back from outside, he sits back down beside Damon.

"How is Bonnie?" Damon asks, knowing that his sister is probably furious with him too. Pulling out his wallet, Enzo shows him a picture of himself, Bonnie and Noelle and then he pulls out a sonogram picture. Handing both to him, he waits for his friend's reaction.

"She's pregnant again?" he asks, staring at the eight weeks gestation picture.

"She is."

"That's great Enzo," he adds, shaking his hand. He can't help but feel a bit of melancholy knowing that this will never happen for him and Elena. Despite all his promises of for better or worse and forever, Damon knows he's taking the cowards way out but he can't dwell on it anymore than he already has. It will kill him to do so.

"Noelle is getting big too. I miss her, I miss them both quite honestly."

"You can come to the house to see us," Enzo offers, taking another swallow from his glass.

"No. I. Can't. If I do, she'll have Elena over there. I can't Enzo, I can't see her again if I can help it," he adds, his eyes still focused on the pictures in his hands.

"Damon, can I ask you something?"

Without looking up, Damon nods. With his hand on the pictures, he takes a quick drink then drops his eyes again, staring at his sister and beautiful little niece.

"What exactly happened on the roof that day?" Enzo asks, clutching the drink between his palms. He can't help but notice the light tremor that erupts on Damon's hands nor the way his jaw tightens and his biceps flex.

Damon wordlessly hands back the photos, finishes his bourbon and then stands up. "I think I've had my quota of socializing for one day."

Hiding his disappointment, Enzo puts the photos back in his wallet. Looking up, Damon's back is already turned towards him. "Say hi to my sister for me," he adds and with that he walks away, disappearing down the hallway that leads to his apartment.

* * *

Stripping out of his clothes, Damon climbs into a steaming hot tub of bubbles. Once he's sitting down, he turns off the faucet. The water is so hot that the room is steamy and sweat is beading on his forehead. Leaning back, he closes his eyes. With his mind whirling a mile a minute, he knows it'll be futile to even try to get some sleep. Between seeing _his_ beautiful Elena again. The last thing he wants to do is to say goodbye to her but it has to be done. It's his job to be strong for both of them and by God, he's going to do so. And then his mind turns to Enzo and his loaded question.

 _"What happened on the roof that day?"_

As if he hasn't replayed that day in his mind a million times already. Sinking deeper into the water, he picks up a washcloth. Draping it over his face, he wants nothing more than to erase that memory not only from his mind but from his very soul.

 _It took two and a half months and another dead family to catch up with Galen Vaughn. They got lucky this time. A neighbor of the family that Galen chose to prey upon next called the police after he heard terrified screams coming from the home. The man had been out of town on a business trip. His conference concluded early otherwise... Full of fear himself after hearing the blood curdling sounds, the neighbor peers out through the window just in time to see Galen dragging two children, one under each arm into the house. The police including Damon arrive very quickly, before he has a chance to elude the authorities yet again._

 _The police surround the house and block the streets leading to the neighborhood to prevent any avenue of escape. Inherently knowing that something is very wrong by the deafening silence, Damon along with a couple of other officers enter the residence with their weapons drawn. Making their way through it, they find an unconscious woman, naked, bleeding and tied up in the bathtub. After insuring that she has a pulse, Damon calls for medical assistance. The rest of the house is empty and as they enter the kitchen, he finds the door wide open. "Shit," Damon says to himself, carefully walking outside, looking left to right he goes forward. About to walk back into the house, he hears the squeal of tires and turns his head, his eyes meeting Vaughn's and then the child's in the backseat before Galen floors the gas pedal and disappears behind a cloud of exhaust fumes._

 _Grabbing the radio that's attached to his collar, Damon screams that he's getting away in a black Lincoln but he didn't get the license plate number. Somehow he manages to evade the police barricade. The entire police force is called in, they begin to do a block by block search. Minutes pass like hours as they search. Damon's mind is filled with all kinds of horrible images of what he'll do to those children, what he may have done to them. The very idea haunts him. Several hours later, they receive another tip. The black Lincoln was spotted near an abandoned building, six stories high on the outskirts of town. Before long the building is surrounded, the sounds of sirens and flashing lights filling the atmosphere._

 _Damon sees the Swat team converging on the site. As he looks around, he sees police snipers taking their positions on a couple of the nearby buildings. The police have all the exits secure. But what surprises him the most is that Vaughn is asking for him personally. Detective Lockwood demands that he wear a wire and be fitted with a bulletproof vest before he goes up there. With his service revolver in hand, Damon stealthily enters the building, climbing all six flights of stairs till he's standing on the roof, face to face with Galen Vaughn himself._

 _"Officer Salvatore, how nice it is to meet you in person," he says, his smile sick and sinister at the same time. Two little boys are standing behind him but what alarms Damon even more is that he's clutching a little girl, maybe four years old, in his arms. Her big brown eyes are puffy and moist. Tear trails on her dirty cheeks look like zebra stripes. She's literally shaking, crying forlornly when Galen jabs the knife to her throat. He can see a small trickle of blood already where the tip pierces her skin._

 _"Just let the children go, please?" Damon pleads, his gun trained on the man._

 _"Now why would I want to do that?" he asks, pressing the knife a little further causing the tiny girl to scream. Damon knows he'll hear her voice and see those great big eyes of hers till he takes his last breath on this earth._

 _"Listen man, it doesn't have to end this way. Let the little girl go, please," Damon repeats, maintaining his firm grip on his weapon. Although he can't not try to talk the madman out of it, he knows it's futile. Galen knows very well that he isn't getting off of this roof alive and that he's going to try to take the children down with him. Vaughn steps backwards, closer and closer to the edge as Damon moves forward, begging him to let the children go. He suddenly hears Detective Lockwood's voice in his earpiece telling him to back off. He can't let the children die. How would he live with himself if he left them to the psychotic whims of a madman?_

 _Even though Mason is screaming in his earpiece, he tunes him out, his thoughts drifting to the children's mother, laying unconscious in that bathtub. He can't let her wake up having to plan three funerals for these precious little ones. Hearing Galen's voice, Damon is snapped out of his thoughts immediately. He has the little boys standing on the precipice, the slightest wind will send them to their deaths. He doesn't have time to wait._

 _"Just one little push, Officer Salvatore," Galen taunts, using his free hand to grab one of the boy's arms and uses it to dangle him over the edge. The boy screams in terror much to Vaughn's delight who starts laughing uproariously._

 _"Stop! Let the boy go," Damon demands, moving slightly closer. Seeing his approach, Galen lets go of the boy. With one last sinister stare at Damon, he drags the knife across the girl's throat. Seeing the pallor of death wash over her, Damon fires his weapon, sending Galen crashing over the side of the building, a bullet lodged between his eyes._

* * *

 _This is part of what's swirling around in Damon's mind. Plus prison was anything but a pleasant experience for him._

 _Huge thanks to my sister, Eva. You're are brilliant and insightful and so generous with your time. Thank you so much my dearest friend._

 _Huge thanks to all of you for_ _reviews, follows, favorites, encouraging words and endless support and friendship. You're all the BEST._

 _Chapter title: 'One Child' by Savatage._

 _My friends Salvatoreboys4ever just updated "Captive of Her Heart" and Mariah April May updated "The Scandal". Both are page turners! Delenadreams updated 'Love Me Again'. VitsAsh has "Stumbling Upon" it's delightful and fun. My friend Sam, aka "TheLittle MissVixen" just updated "Some by Virtue Fall". Deepwater1978 is on vacation but she'll be back with new soon. My friend MovingOnIsNeverEasy has a cute little story too, "Blind Date"._

 _Be safe and have a fabulous day._


	8. Watching You Fall

**_My apologies, I didn't realize it had been so long since I updated this one._**

* * *

Waking up less than refreshed but needing to get up anyway, Elena rolls over in bed. After staring at the ceiling for several moments, she turns onto her side. Her eyes focusing in on a picture of the two of them. It was taken on their honeymoon. They were white water rafting on the Colorado River in through the Grand Canyon. They're both wearing life jackets, shorts, their sunglasses are perched in their hair, they look so happy. Damon's smile lights up his whole face. She doesn't remember the last time she saw that smile. The worry lines that are so prominent now are nowhere to be seen in that photo. God, if only she could find that Damon again. She knows he's still there, she just needs to be patient and help him find that person again.

Knowing that she's going to have to face the day sometime, she finally drags herself out of bed. She goes straight to the shower. Walking out with a towel cinched around her chest, she goes into their closet. On a whim, she pulls open his dresser drawer. Pulling out a tee shirt, she presses it against her nose, breathing in his scent. If she didn't have to go to her folks house, she would stay in here all day. She misses feeling his arms around her, she misses his lips on her, she misses everything. If only she knew what to do or how to help him or why he's running from her?

None of it makes any sense to her, none of it. Setting the tee shirt down, she slips a cami over her shoulders and then slides his tee shirt over that. It's the only way she can feel close to him right now. After putting on a pair of jean shorts, she grabs her shoes and plops down on the edge of the bed to put them on. Once she's dressed, she grabs her bag, her phone and her car keys and heads outside, making sure to lock the door behind her.

* * *

 _Holding Damon's hand firmly in her own, Elena knows she has to be strong for him. If she could make one thing come true, she wishes she could kill Galen Vaughn herself before any of this had happened. That man and all the horrors he inflicted on this town have literally sucked the life out of her husband. Ever since the first murders were discovered, he has been nothing but a shell, spiraling deeper and deeper till it all ended on that rooftop six months ago. After the incident, he was put on administrative leave and made to turn in his service revolver. He didn't become a cop to be a desk jockey, he would tell her repeatedly. The biggest shock of their lives came when Damon was indicted for what happened on that day. He had been ordered to stand down and instead, he killed Vaughn._

 _She tries to talk to him but he's stoic and trying to stay strong for her. She knows he's breaking inside. He's lost weight, he's drinking more. He wakes up almost nightly in a cold sweat, nightmares haunting his subconscious. For a moment, it's like he has no perception of time or place, his eyes endless black holes. She's certain that it's the specter of little Faye who haunts him. Elena tries to get him to talk about it, even suggesting a counselor but he shuts her down immediately. There was only the one time, right after the incident when he relived that horrific moment when that baby was murdered right before his eyes, watching as her life force literally drained out of her._

 _If only she knew how to help him. Suddenly they're instructed to take their places because the Judge is about to enter the courtroom. Although he tries to keep up appearances, she can see by the look on his face that he's terrified. When she squeezes his hand to remind him that she's here, he smiles but it in no way reaches his dulling blue eyes._

 _As soon as the bailiff starts to speak, Elena moves to take her seat behind the defendant's table. When the Judge appears everyone stands up. As soon as he bangs the gavel, Damon turns around, gives Elena an uneasy look then turns his back towards her, closing her off yet again from all of the turmoil that's destroying him bit by bit._

* * *

Pulling into her parent's driveway, Elena turns off the car. She loves both dearly but with everything on her plate, she knows that they'll pick on her mood and won't relent until she spills the whole sordid tale of the state of her marriage. When she looks up only to see her dad standing in the front door staring at her, she forces a smile. Waving to him, she steps out of the car and hurries over to him. When he wraps his arms around her, she squeezes back, needing to be comforted right now.

"Hi little girl," Grayson greets her. When they part, he takes her hand and leads her into the kitchen.

"Thanks daddy," she says, smiling and sitting down when he pulls out a chair for her.

"Darling, you're here," Miranda interrupts, walking into the kitchen herself. Before she sits down, she pours each a cup of coffee. After getting the cookie jar, she sits down and after helping herself to a couple of cookies, she slides it over to her daughter. "Elena, sweetheart, you're losing weight."

"I'm fine, really I am." To appease her mom, Elena takes a cookie and starts to munch on it.

"And why do you have such dark circles under your eyes? Haven't you been sleeping?"

"Momma, please?" Elena protests, taking a bite of cookie and then swallowing it down with a deep swallow of coffee.

"Elena, humor me. What is the matter child?"

"Momma, I love that you worry about me but I'm fine, really I am," Elena adds, her eyes drifting to the family pictures that are still affixed to the refrigerator. She focuses in on the one of Jeremy in his basketball uniform, his feet off the ground as he's about to dunk a shot. She misses him desperately sometimes.

Sensing that something is very wrong with his daughter, Grayson stands up to put his cup in the sink. "Sweetheart, I think I'm going to take Elena for a walk. Do you need me to pick up anything for supper on the way home?" Although he also senses his wife's displeasure, he and Miranda have been married long enough to understand each other. Before she says anything, she sees the look on her husband's face and her protest dies on her lips. After Elena puts her cup in the sink, she slides her arm through her dad's extended elbow and then the two walk outside and down the sidewalk in the direction of the neighborhood playground.

Once they sit down on one of the picnic tables, he asks her about Damon. He knows immediately that things aren't good the way she drops her eyes to where her hands are clenched on the table top. She feels guilty for keeping things from them but she does it so they won't worry. The last thing she wants to do is bring more turmoil to their lives. When she lifts her head, her eyes meeting her father's concerned ones, she brushes a strand of hair behind her ear.

"He's been released, daddy. He's been out for a while already." Elena watches as shock washes over his face.

"What did you just say? And you didn't tell us..?" Shaking her head, she places one of her palms on top of his hand, interrupting him.

"He's not at home, daddy.. he's gone. He got out and he didn't even tell me. He went into the house and packed a few things while I was at the studio."

"Elena, I don't understand?" he asks, worry lines now visible on his forehead.

"He's working at one of the bars downtown. I don't know where he's staying only that it's not with me."

"Elena, sweetheart, I know that it's not what you want but no one would say that you're a quitter. You've done everything... You can't force him to listen or accept your help if he doesn't want to take it. Maybe you should give him some space?"

"That's exactly what Enzo said too. But what have the last two and a half years been if they haven't been space?" she snaps, using her fingers to italicize the word when it leaves her lips.

"That's what he wants. He's waiting for me to back off so he can be done with our marriage. I won't... no, I can't let that happen. I won't fail him. I just want my husband back, the man I married before Galen Vaughn sucked the life out of him."

Knowing why she lives in absolute terror of failing someone, Grayson's eyes soften and then he takes her hand in his own. "Elena, sweetheart, you couldn't help Jeremy, it's not your fault."

"No, daddy, you're wrong. You can't tell me that I'm not responsible because I was. And Damon.. I was there the whole time. Everyday I was seeing a little more of the light vanish from his eyes after they sentenced him to prison despite the fact that they all knew that if not for my husband, those little boys would have died too. Now he's left to try to pick up the pieces of his life. He's wearing that guilt like a shield, keeping me away. With Damon, the only one at fault is Galen Vaughn and his fellow officers that made him pay for a crime that he didn't commit.

 _"Mr. Salvatore, you are remanded into custody until arrangements are made to transfer you to prison." He then turns to the jury, dismissing them. With the banging of his gavel, he adjourns the proceedings. Standing directly behind her husband, Elena can see his shoulders shake. Feeling her own tears well up, she sniffs, wiping them with her fists and then slides out of the aisle to see him. As soon as she reaches him, she throws her arms around his neck. With her mouth by his ear, she tells him how much she loves him._

 _She gasps slightly when he pulls out of her embrace. When their eyes meet, she can see the color fading, the life draining out of them. He's already given up, is dying inside and there's not a damn thing she can do to stop him from tumbling into the dark and lonely abyss._

* * *

After wringing out the washcloth, Enzo presses it to his face, letting the warmth seep in. Although he was far from knock down drunk, he was more than a little buzzed. Even though he very well knows better, he drove home. He chastises himself, vowing to never do it again. As soon as he gets downstairs, Noelle is already playing on the floor in the living room with her Barbie dolls. Walking over to her, he stoops down and presses a kiss to the top of her head.

"Hi daddy," she squeaks, flashing a huge smile at him before turning her attention back to her dolls. Smiling, he gets up and walks into the kitchen to have a cup of coffee. Seeing the rather unsettled look on his wife's face, he braces himself.

"Talk," Bonnie says, swallowing one of the anti-nausea pills that her OB doctor ordered for her. Enzo refills her glass of tea and then sits down.

"As I'm sure you know, I was with Damon last evening. He's working downtown at a bar for a guy named Ric. He seems like a decent guy and I get the feeling that he cares about Damon. I went downtown to warn him that Elena would likely be around but she beat me to it."

"Elena saw him?"

"Yes. I know she's his wife, Bonnie, but Damon is your brother. We need to support him and if that means not telling Elena something or us not interfering in their marriage problems then so be it," Enzo remarks, putting the cup to his lips.

"Elena is family too, Enzo. She's the best thing that ever happened to him. You know as well as I do that if anyone can save him, it's her. She has been steadfast and unrelenting and has never wavered in her determination to be there for him no matter how awful he has been to her," she says, shaking her head in frustration. When he starts to interrupt, she levels him with a glare.

"After all of that, you think we should shut her out now? Where is your head, Enzo? And who pray tell is going to be there for her? Jeremy is gone and she refuses to be a burden to her parents. Elena loves Damon more than her own life but it doesn't mean that she should support his stupidity and this self imposed downward spiral of his. You think about that long and hard before you tell me whose side to take." she snaps, getting up and walking out of the kitchen leaving Enzo to wonder what happened to his mild mannered wife.

* * *

By the time he gets downstairs the next morning and after doing some cleaning and fixer-upper work at the bar, Damon is feeling a little better. When he finishes one chore he moves on to another. Hearing his name, he looks over his shoulder, nodding his head when Ric summons him over to have a fresh cup of hot coffee and some Danish. Sidling up to the bar, he picks up the sweet roll and takes a bite, enjoying the flavors that burst on his tongue.

Setting it down, he lifts his mug to his mouth and takes a long swallow. When he sets it down, he looks to his left for a moment, gasping silently when he sees a shadow pass in front of the window. Charlotte is gone just as quickly as she appeared. With his mind closing in on him, Ric's voice is almost muted. He'll never forget her eyes nor the way they stared at him in silent reproach while all he could do was sit there and take it. Dropping his face into his hands, he knows that those scars will never heal, not even when he takes his final breath.

"Damon?" Ric asks, waving his hand in front of his friend's face.

"Sorry, I thought I saw a shadow of someone I knew once."

"Do you want to go rock climbing with me this weekend? I can get Rebekah to watch the bar for a few hours. It might help you take your mind off of things for awhile?"

"Sure Ric, that sounds nice," Damon agrees, looking through the window once more when another woman passes by, her shadow shrouding the sunlight for a few seconds.

* * *

All along the drive to work, Enzo can't help but think about what Bonnie said. The more he does consider it, the more he realizes that she's right. Doing Damon's bidding is not constructive and it won't help him or them. He needs to support Elena all he can. Maybe with a nudge here and there, he can convince Damon to reconsider. After parking his car, he goes into the police station, nearly knocking over Detective Lockwood as he does so. Deciding to take the bull by the horns, Enzo asks to have a word with him.

Although he has no idea why Enzo wants to speak to him, Mason invites him into his office and tells him to take a seat. Pouring himself a cup of coffee, he offers Enzo one too but he turns it down. With Mason's back still turned to him, he blurts out, "Damon's home."

"I know that," Mason admits, sitting down in his desk chair. By the expression on his face, Enzo is certain that the man has probably given it some thought.

"I mean, he's not home, home, with Elena where he should be but he is a free man now," he adds, tenting his fingers as he watches Mason intently. "I mean, you remember his wife, Elena right?" Mason remains stoic, not reacting at all so he continues, "He's working at Ric's bar downtown in case you hadn't heard."

"Why are you telling me this?" Detective Lockwood asks, sounding a little defensive.

"Because I think you owe him. Hell, we all do but it was your testimony that sealed his fate."

"What would you have me do, St. John? If Damon would have listened.."

Raising his palm, stopping Mason mid sentence, Enzo interrupts, "I know that. But you and I and everyone else in this building have no idea how we would react given the same circumstances. As police officers, we have to make spur of the moment decisions all of the time. We are men and women who go to work every day to try to save lives and help people. Up on that rooftop that day, Damon did what he thought he had to do to stop Vaughn from killing all three of those babies and probably a shit load more people. And no matter what your position was and your obligation to tell the truth, it was your testimony that changed his life. The Damon I know now is a hundred eighty degrees removed from the man I used to know. I don't know if he'll ever recover. So as his friend and brother in law, I will say it again, You. Owe. Him."

Mason shakes his head, opens his mouth to argue but it dies on his lips. He remembers how the DA wanted Damon's scalp. To this day, he hates that he was forced to side with that heinous monster, Galen over one of their own, a fellow cop. Even after finding the IED strapped to Vaughn's body, they still needed a scapegoat to pay for the death of that little girl, Faye Marie Jones. If Damon hadn't killed him, he likely would have blown himself up along with Damon and those two little boys but the powers that be in city hall wouldn't listen to reason. They wanted a head, someone to blame for the child's horrific death. When Damon disobeyed a direct order to stand down, he became the patsy as it were. He remembers reaching the roof at the very moment Damon's gun fired. If only he had listened... Mason laments to himself.

"What happened on that roof?" Enzo asks, snapping Mason out of his reverie. Shaking his head, Mason replies, "I honestly don't know what Vaughn said to him or what happened between the two of them. Damon never said why he disobeyed a direct order."

* * *

After an emotionally draining day with her parents, Elena accepts Caroline's offer to bring over a bottle of wine so the two of them can have a girl's night. Although she really isn't in the mood for Caroline's usual exuberance, she realizes that she could use a time out herself. By the time she gets home, she sees Caroline's car parked alongside the front of the house. As she gets closer, she sees her talking to some guy standing near her front door. Having no idea who it is, Elena pulls into the driveway. She reaches for her purse and then steps out. Before she even has time the close the door, the man is standing in front of her.

"Mrs. Salvatore?"

Looking at the man curiously, Elena nods and then the man hands her a manila envelope. Her eyes dart from him to Caroline and then down to the envelope. When she opens it, she sees the words, her eyes widening in disbelief.

 _First Judicial Circuit_

 _State of New Mexico_

 _County of Santa Fe_

 _Petition for the Dissolution of Marriage:_

 _Damon J. Salvatore, Petitioner_

 _vs._

 _Elena M. Salvatore, Respondent._

In shock, Elena sees spots dancing behind her eyes. Her legs weaken, sending her crashing to the ground to her knees, the envelope crumpled in her hand.

* * *

 _Please trust me._

 _Huge thanks to my sister, Eva. You're are brilliant and insightful and so very generous with your time. She often stay up till the wee hours of the morning helping me with our stories._

 _Massive thanks to all of you for_ _reviews, follows, favorites, encouraging words and endless support and friendship. You're all the BEST._

 _Chapter title: 'Watching You Fall' by Savatage._

 _I did post the cover image of my Halloween story and a pictorial for 'November Rain' on my fb page._

 _Have a wonderful day. Thank you all again._


	9. Hell Is Living Without You

Feeling the fabric beneath her fingertips, Elena starts to become aware of her surroundings. Hearing Caroline's animated voice, she opens her eyes, her mind filling in the blank spaces of the last several minutes. Throwing her legs over the side of the couch, she now notices Caroline standing in the doorway, her arms gesticulating wildly as she reams the guy a new one.

Groaning, she forces herself to sit up. Dropping her face into her hands, she splits her fingers and it's then that she sees the papers lying on the end table. If she wasn't so devastated, she could almost laugh at the hysteria of it all. Turning her head to Caroline again, she forces herself to her feet and walks over to them. The guy actually looks terrified, his eyes are dancing all over the place.

"Look lady, I'm just doing my job," he says, trying to explain himself.

"Well maybe you should get yourself a new job," Caroline snaps, shoving him out of the door.

"I can't leave until she signs this," he adds, his stare glancing over Caroline's shoulders to meet Elena's.

"Where do I need to sign?" she asks, trying her best not to break down in front of the messenger. When he hands her the clipboard, she signs it. Just as Caroline is about to lambaste him all over again, he practically leaps to his car, jumps in and drives off without looking their way again. After Caroline pushes the door closed, she wraps her arms around Elena and brushes a wisp of a kiss to her temple then leads her back into the living room to sit down. All she can do is stare at the divorce papers. Never ever had she even considered taking such action, even when things were so bad between them. She knew he wasn't himself because of Vaughn but she was determined to never let him go. And now he wants to let go of her?

Feeling a hand on her shoulder, she looks up, gratefully taking the tumbler of bourbon that Caroline hands her. Taking the seat beside her, Caroline takes her hand and gives it a squeeze. "Oh Elena, I don't know what to say," she says, taking a swallow from her glass.

"I know you only want to help, Caroline and I love you dearly for it but I'm not in the mood for anything," Elena says softly, wiping the tears that are beginning to form with her forearm. "I can't believe he did this," she adds, unable to hold them in any longer. Her best friend won't judge her for crying.

"My mind is a massive of contradiction of love and anger and wanting to tear him limb from limb," she fumes, taking a long swallow from her glass, relishing the burn as it goes down.

"Elena, I love you and I admire your resiliency. I am not going anywhere until the Elena I know is back. You're so strong, so much more so than you realize."

"It's just that I feel so alone. Damon hasn't been the same since that damn case started. That's when he started retreating into himself, the sporadic behavior, the drinking, his temperament going from one extreme to the next. And then to appease city hall, they convict him for involuntary manslaughter. You know as well as I do that the city was trying to save face. They didn't care who they destroyed, Damon and me being their primary targets."

"I know how hard this is, Elena. But you are made of steel, girlfriend. So you are going to pick yourself up and give that husband of yours a piece of your mind. Deal?"

Determination and anger start to burn white hot inside of her. Squaring her shoulders, she nods, and throws back what's left in her glass.

"That's the Elena I know and love. Now where can I take you?"

* * *

It's been an exceptionally busy night at the bar for Damon. He happens to glance up at the TV, smiling when he sees his team winning the baseball game. When someone yells for another pitcher of beer, Damon takes the pitcher from him and refills it. After taking the guy's money, he puts it in the till. Looking up, his eyes meet Ruby's. She's been a regular customer since shortly after he started working here or at least that's what Ric told him.

When she licks her lips salaciously, undressing him with her eyes, he waggles his brows teasingly at her. Although not his type or at least not his type since Elena came into his life, he thinks she's a little too obvious. That said, she's a hot little number, flaming locks of auburn hair, big green eyes, soft ivory skin, curves and endlessly long legs. She's tall but he doesn't ever remember her coming in here without those six inch heels on her feet.

For a moment, his minds drifts to his wife, her stiletto clad feet draped over his shoulder while he pounded her into the mattress. Snapping out of it, he glances up at the clock, happy that it's almost closing time. People are already exiting the premises.

When Ruby raises her glass, he nods then turns to reach the brand of Vodka that she likes. While refilling it, he happens to look over her shoulder just in time to see his wife come through the door. Immediately he notices the stiff set of her jaw and way she carries herself, her fierce demeanor and mile wide stubborn streak all rolled up into a five foot six inch dynamo. As she closes the distance between them, he sees her grim determination. He feels the first tendrils of guilt begin to burn in his belly when he notices that she's literally trembling. Her hair is messy and her eyes red and swollen. He's concerned, wondering what happened to his wife.

Ruby follows his stare, her eyes darting back and forth between the two of them. Damon can see her puzzled expression in his peripheral vision. As if in slow motion, Elena closes the last few feet between them.

"What...?" he starts to ask, stopped short when she raises her palm, effectively silencing him. That's when he notices the envelope in her other hand. Having captured his complete attention, Elena rips the envelope in half and then in half again before throwing it at him in a fit of rage, her breathing heavy.

"This was a shitty move, Damon. I never knew you to be a coward but clearly I was wrong. You hire a low life attorney to get rid of your annoying wife hoping it will solve all of your problems?"

"Elena, calm down, please. Let's just behave like two adults and end this decently," he starts to say, again shutting up because he doesn't feel good in the face of her anger and determination. He knows he deserves every bit of the venom that she's spewing from her lips.

"Calm down? You want me to calm down you selfish son of a bitch? Have you gone mad on top of everything else? Now why don't you tell me, tell everyone here what I did to deserve to be treated like this?" she seethes her face red with anger and irritation, her fuse burning white hot.

Grateful that only Ric, Ruby and a couple of stragglers are left in the bar, he takes a breath and tries to placate her. "Elena?" he starts to opine. Daring to take his eyes off of hers for a moment, he glances at Ruby and then at Ric before turning back to her.

"Come upstairs with me, we can talk about it."

"Not a chance, Damon, you don't get to have a mature conversation now, not after this. I have no interest in hearing your excuses because I know exactly what you're doing. You're pushing me away because you have some sort of insane idea in your head that you're doing this for me. I do not need to be protected from you or anyone else for that matter. I got used to living alone, doing everything by myself," she spits, her resolve softening ever so slightly.

Her eyes never leave his when she adds, her voice still venomous, "Even though I can take care of myself doesn't mean that I don't need or want you. You don't get to decide who I can and cannot love." Feeling herself on the brink of tears, she somehow steels her spine and maintains her stares without so much as a blink.

Beneath the surface, Damon is both impressed and astounded. She's more beautiful than he's ever seen her despite her frumpy appearance. But his years in prison taught him how to hide his feelings and so he stands his ground, crossing his arms over his chest. He will not allow her to be swallowed up by the darkness that surrounds him, vowing that he isn't going to let her win this war.

"Do your worst, Damon because I'm not giving up on you. I don't believe that you suddenly stopped caring. I won't. I don't care how many new sets of papers you have me served with, the same thing is going to happen again and again. I won't sign them," she hisses, gesturing at the torn pieces of paper that litter the floor between them. Damon stands perfectly still when she steps up on a bar stool, putting her face within an inch of his. He can feel the hot puffs of her ragged breaths.

Raising her eyes, she adds, her voice now low but still deadly sounding, "For better or worse, Damon, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." With that she turns around and walks away, leaving a shaken Damon behind.

He always knew he married a spitfire but hell, this was thermonuclear bomb that detonated on him tonight. Snapping out of it when hearing a noise, he looks at Ruby who has no clue what just happened. His mind is whirling a mile a minute. Seeing her words _"Do your worst"_ flash like neon signs behind his eyes, he smirks at the red head and waggles his brows playfully. With a plan forming in his mind, he knows exactly what his worst will be.

* * *

Walking into her house after her classes, she drops her gym bag on the floor and then collapses onto the sofa. It's been a few days since her confrontation with Damon. She's been ignoring everyone's phone calls not that he's called or even attempted to reach her though. She is tired and beaten down. Nothing tastes good, her skin looks sallow and the hollows below her eyes are dark from fatigue. Laying down on the couch, she throws her arm over her forehead and lays there for a few minutes. When she happens to notice the dusty bookshelf and end table, she sighs heavily then pulls herself up to get some cleaning supplies. Old habits die hard she thinks to herself. Just as she bends over to reach the Pledge, the doorbell rings.

A part of her is afraid to answer in case it's Damon smarmy lawyer having her served with a new set of divorce papers. And as much as she loves Caroline, she's just not in a mood for anymore of her today either nor is she in the mood to chit chat with one of their neighbors. As quietly as she can, she tip toes over to the window, barely pulling the curtain away so she can get a glimpse of who's here. An audible gasp leaves her lips when she recognizes the person.

Rushing over, she yanks the door open and falls into the woman's arms, "Mama," she cries, tears immediately filling her eyes knowing that seeing her is exactly what she needs.

* * *

Since the night that Damon's wife barged in here, Ric has been watching his friend. His behavior is more aloof and he sees to have newly discovered devil may care attitude. Although he does a stellar job at work, he notices that Damon has been flirting with Ruby more so than he ever did before the confrontation with that woman.

Up until that moment, he was absolutely certain that she was at fault for the dissolution of their marriage. She struck him as someone who ran roughshod over Damon's life, making him miserable and instilling a lack of self worth in him. It dawns on Ric that he's projecting his own ex wife's failings onto Elena and that maybe he was very wrong in blaming this all on her.

Sipping his cup of coffee while he goes over the books, he can't help but rethink his opinion of her. The way she stomped in the bar the other night, baring her soul and not caring that there were bystanders. It seemed all too genuine to him. That kind of emotion can't be faked.

Hearing Ruby's laugh, he looks up, not surprised when he sees Damon flirting with her yet again. Frowning, he sets his pencil down, links his fingers and stretches them out. Even though he hasn't known Damon all that long, he's never blatantly flirted with the opposite sex, he's always been polite in his refusal but it was a refusal nonetheless.

What is the matter with you, Ric, he thinks to himself, since when do you care about an employee's sex life? It's none of his business but for some reason, he can't get the gnawing feeling out of his mind his friend is on the cusp of making a mistake that he may not be able to rectify. Shaking his head, he stands up and picks up his books and his coffee cup. Walking around the back of the bar, he offers to relieve Damon for awhile.

In no hurry to disappear into the kitchen as he normally is, Damon nods. Turning back to Ruby, he winks at her, "I will be back." With a waggle of his backside just for her, he disappears down the hall, leaving a stunned Ric and an excited Ruby behind.

* * *

"Thank you, mama," Elena says, smiling when the older woman hands her a cup of tea. After pouring herself a cup, Janie Salvatore sits down beside her daughter in law. Picking up one of the cupcakes that Elena set on the table, she bites into it, licking her lips when she sets it back on the saucer. As she chews, she looks around and everywhere she looks, her son is still present as if he'd never left.

There are pictures of him alone, in his police uniform, the two of them rafting on their honeymoon, a newspaper clipping announcing the opening of she and Caroline's aerobic center. On the little shelves on either side of the kitchen window are little trinkets including one of Damon's trophies that he won playing little baseball when he was a kid. She remembers how proud and happy he was before life did things to him. Her eyes drift to Elena. Her eyes are downcast, staring at the ripple in the tea as she stirs it with her spoon.

She's such an amazing woman, Janie thinks, through everything, she's never wavered even the slightest in her support of her husband. Her loyalty is something so honorable that it touches her deeply that her son found a woman like this. Picking up her tea, she takes a swallow to rinse down the cupcake. Her eyes again drift to a picture of Damon. There's no doubt in her mind that Damon knows how lucky he is to have found this beautiful woman to make his wife. It kills her to see Elena so despondent.

The more she stares at Elena, the madder she gets because her son is stubborn ass who needs a swat on his backside. She's also confident in her belief that Elena isn't going to just let him go and he certainly is smart enough to know that too. Sitting in companionable silence, Janie takes her hand and gives it a squeeze. When their eyes meet, she says, "Elena, I want you to know that I'll always be your mama. You can come to me with anything. No matter what my idiot son does, I will always love you."

"Did you know that he had me served with divorce papers?"

"I know child. Bonnie told me. That's why I'm here. And let me tell you something, I do intend to have a few words with my son. That man, Vaughn, he and prison changed him. He's lost and despite everything, he thinks he doing the right thing. I cannot tell you what to do, Elena. Not many women would have stuck by my son. I don't want you to give up on him now but if it becomes too much, I understand. So please when I tell you that I'll always be your mama, I mean it from the bottom of my heart."

With tears trailing down her cheeks, Elena lets Janie take her into her arms again, rocking her gently as her body shakes with spasms of pain and fear.

* * *

Cleaning up the kitchen, Damon could not help but notice the rather disgruntled looks that Ric was shooting at him before he walked in here. Pausing for a minute, he leans back against the counter. Feeling his temples beginning to throb, he rubs them with his fingertips. Turning around, he pulls a bottle of Advil out of the cupboard. He pops a few in his mouth then swallows them down.

When he sees her reflection on the water's surface, the glass slips from his hand, glass shards flying when it crashes to the floor. Even though what he has to do hurts, he is not going to ruin Elena nor her view of the world any more than he's already done so. He can't tell her about Charlotte or Luka so their faces can terrorize her in her dreams too. Nor can he share the horrific things he saw and had to do to survive in prison. He knows it's not right to use Ruby but in the choice between her and Elena, there's no contest, Ruby means nothing to him, she's simply a means to an end.

She's been here every night, apparently convinced that he's done with that spiteful woman as she calls her. Ruby is not going to let him slip through her fingers so Damon knows he has her right where he wants her. Bending down, he picks up the bigger pieces of glass, yelping when a tiny one pierces his skin. As a droplet of blood beads up on his fingertip, he can't help but stare, his mind taking him back to that rooftop and little Faye as she bled out in front of him.

Hearing the kitchen door, he snaps out of it. Standing up, he pulls a broom out of the closet then sweeps up the glass, throwing it away in the recycle bin. When he's done, he walks back out to main part of the bar, giving Ruby an almost genuine smile when their eyes meet.

This is your life now Damon, merry unmarried life, he thinks to himself, strutting over and taking the bar stool beside her.

Hearing a throng of people walk in, Damon turns around, surprised when he sees Enzo walking towards him. Taking the seat beside Ruby, he orders a mug of beer.

"Enzo," Damon quips, adding, "My sister allowed you a night out?"

"Some of us have responsibilities like children and a pregnant wife. We can't all spend our nights hanging at the bar like a bachelor."

Smirking, Damon takes a swallow of his bourbon, saying "Just like a bachelor."

Looking at him curiously, Enzo tilts his head slightly wondering what the hell Damon is up to. He came here to spend some time with him, maybe try to talk some sense into his brother in law but..

"Ruby, this is my brother in law, Enzo. Enzo, Ruby."

Smiling brightly at Enzo, Ruby starts rubbing herself against Damon. Knowing how weird this is, Enzo gives a questioning look to Damon but he's unreadable tonight, different somehow. He promised his wife he'd come here to try to have a quiet chat with Damon but even though he isn't going to have that opportunity, it does feel kind of good to get out of the house a little bit.

The crowd is packing into the place, music is blasting on the stereo, people are playing pool and darts, lonely guys are wallowing in their brews and lonely girls are here to try to find someone to go home with. When he turns his attention back to Damon, he notices that he's not just flirty with Ruby but with all of the female clientele. Ruby is hanging on every word almost as if Damon hung the moon. He finds Damon's behavior both surprising and disturbing. He seems to be eating up all the attention the red-head is giving him? Damon suddenly gets up and walks out, winking at Ruby before disappearing down the hall.

With his eyes nearly popping out of his head, Enzo looks at Ric, mouthing, "What the hell happened?"

"Don't even ask," Ric replies, rolling his eyes. "I think it was his wife's visit..." he starts to say, watching as Damon returns, standing beside Ruby with a plate full of French fries.

"Elena, she came back?" Enzo says under his breath, hoping that Damon won't over hear.

Ric frowns when sees Ruby snaking her hand under his apron, her hand grazing over his thigh and drifting closer to his junk. Following Ric's line of vision, Enzo's mouth drops, not only does Damon not remove her hand but he returns the gesture with his hand closest to her. When Damon looks up, he's immediately greeted by Enzo's stunned face. Ignoring him, Damon continues to flirt and touch Ruby till she's rubbing herself against him like a dog in heat.

When the crowd starts to thin out, Ric invites Enzo to join him and Jenna in a booth. It's close to the bar so he can jump behind it when someone needs something. If not for Damon's completely inappropriate behavior, Enzo would be having a good time. He doesn't know how the hell he's going to keep this from his wife. She always, always knows when he's hiding something.

Even though he starts to relax a little bit as the evening wears on, enjoying Ric and Jenna's company, he still occasionally glances over at Damon whose behavior is distracting to say the least. The woman, Ruby is pretty but she's not even in the same league as Elena. He.. he's having a hard time believing what's right in front of his very eyes.

Playing his part as if he's in contention for an academy award, Damon feels their stares but refuses to let it affect his actions. Smiling and laughing it up with Ruby, brushing his hand against her breast at times, he leans in and whispers something in her ear, pulling the lobe in his mouth then brushing his lips along her jaw line. When she touches his package, he groans low in his throat.

It's been a very long time for Damon. So long in fact that he and a bar of soap are intimate shower friends... Glancing up at the clock, he looks over his shoulder at Ric

"Hey boss, I'm off as we talked about?" Ric waves then turns his attention back to Jenna. He's not going to let Damon ruin his fun with her. He's worked too hard trying to get her to agree to a date.

Taking Ruby's hand in his, he looks over his shoulder at Enzo once more, "Sorry bro, we're calling it a night. Say hi to Bon-bon for me."

Damon catches Enzo's shocked and disappointed expression when he puts an arm around Ruby's shoulders and walks down the hall towards his room. Opening the door, he lets go so she can walk up the stairs. As he watches her pert bottom swing from side to side as she goes up, all he can hear in his head is Elena's voice blaring loudly,

 _"Do. Your. Worst."_

* * *

 _I know you all want to stab Damon about now... Trust me._

 _Huge thanks to my sister, Eva. You're are brilliant and insightful and so very generous with your time._

 _Massive thanks to all of you for_ _reviews, follows, favorites, encouraging words and endless support and friendship. You're all the BEST._

 _Chapter title: 'Hell Is Living Without You' by Alice Cooper._

 _I did update "Tomorrow" yesterday._

 _I hope you all have a fabulous day. Thank you all again. We'll see you next time._


	10. The Thunder Rolls

**_This Elena quote from S4's 'Into the Blue' fits THIS Damon to a tee: "So things aren't easy and you're just gonna push me away, now? That's what you do, Damon. You think that you don't.. you don't deserve something... so you ruin it."_**

* * *

Feeling the warmth of the sun beating down on his face, Damon slowly opens his eyes. He's facing the window, not wanting to think about last night. Although he's not naïve enough to believe that he can postpone it for long, at least he can hang onto the illusion for a little while yet. Lifting up on his elbow, he reaches for the clock, sighing when he sees that it's only a little after seven. Sitting up, he rubs the kinks out of his lower back. When he hears a sigh, he watches the red head for a few minutes before reluctantly dragging himself to his feet. Deciding to forego a shower, he quickly puts his jeans and a tee shirt while trying to figure out how to wake her up. Hearing a groan, he turns around to see her stretching her arms above her head while giving him a lazy smile.

"Morning, sleepy head, " Damon smirks, adding, "You should get ready and come downstairs. I need to get started in the kitchen."

She smiles and nods and starts to sit up, first one leg and then the other. Not wanting to dwell on it, he quickly slips through the door, leaving her alone to get ready. As soon as Damon walks into the main area of the bar, he takes a quick look at the number of people already here. As he skirts past Ric, he hears him mutter something under his breath. Shrugging his shoulders, he goes into the kitchen to start getting things ready for the day.

Maybe fifteen minutes later, Ruby trots down the stairs and takes a seat at the bar, her eyes drifting around no doubt looking for Damon.

"Good morning, Ric," she says, when he steps in front of her. He pours her a cup of coffee, thinking to himself that she's in a fine mood considering the amount of alcohol she drank last night. When Damon steps out, she lights up, a dreamy look on her face.

After winking at her, he looks at Ric. Noticing the frosty look on his friend's face, he asks Ruby to come and have breakfast with him. Looking over his shoulder as he leads her away, he swallows thickly as Ric's face darkens even more.

 _"I can't put this Genie back into the bottle,"_ Damon thinks to himself, smirking as he disappears into the kitchen.

* * *

Waking up, Enzo rolls over to an empty bed. He did get home awfully late last night and maybe a little bit tipsy but he doesn't remember getting into a tussle with his wife either. Thinking she is probably letting him sleep in a little while since it's Saturday, he closes his eyes again, drifting off for another hour. When he wakes up the second time, it's because Noelle is bouncing up and down on his midsection. "Oomph," he groans, laughing at her.

"Daddy," she squeals.

He quickly turns the tables, rolling her onto her back and tickling her till she's red in the face. Hearing her screams, Bonnie comes in, laughing herself when she sees her husband and daughter. After telling Noelle to go into the kitchen, Bonnie sits down on the edge of the bed. She gives her husband a kiss and then tells him to come to join them for breakfast.

As soon as she walks out, the memory of last night hits him square in the chest. Mentally panicking about his idiotic brother in law and wondering what in the hell Damon was thinking, he throws his legs over the side of the bed. Hoping that for once he can keep this to himself, he lazily ambles into the bathroom to do his business and get dressed.

Joining his girls in the kitchen, he gives his wife a kiss on the temple and Noelle one on the top of her head. Although wary of how Bonnie will react when she inevitably picks up on the fact that something is bothering him, he still loves being able to spend his free time with his girls.

To be able to kiss them whenever he wants, make love to Bonnie whenever he wants to and to cherish them is what Enzo lives for. Taking a seat beside Noelle, he looks up to see that his wife is giving him a searching look but she says nothing, turning away to reach into the cupboard for a coffee cup.

When she hands it to him, he latches on to hers before she steps away. "I'm sorry for being so late last night and for drinking a little too much."

"It's fine, Enzo. You deserve to have some fun once in awhile. And besides, you're doing it for me and my brother so how could I complain?" she mentions, smiling when he touches her fingertips with his lips. Sitting down, she picks up her mug, taking a sip of tea. Setting it down, she lifts her fork and starts to cut her pancake, smiling at Noelle as she shoves a piece into her mouth.

"Oh I should mention Elena is coming over in a little while. I'm so glad that my morning sickness is better so I can spend a few hours with her without having to run into the bathroom to spill my guts. Plus I think she could use some girl time too."

"Elena is coming here?" Enzo asks, trying to swallow past the lump in his throat.

"What's going on, Enzo?" she asks, tenting her fingers as she stares unblinkingly into her husband's eyes.

* * *

Knowing that she may likely raise her voice, Bonnie decides that they should finish breakfast. While Enzo cleans off the kitchen table and washes up the dishes, she takes Noelle to her room and puts a cartoon movie on the DVD player for her. Once she hands her daughter her favorite dolly, she smiles and walks out of her room, pulling the door closed. Joining her husband in the kitchen, she leans back against the counter. Crossing her arms over her chest, she tells him to spill.

When Enzo goes into all the rather scandalous details, a horrified look washes over her face. "What do you mean he was with someone?" she asks incredulously, wringing her hands together. "I mean, why would he...?"

"Sweetheart, please calm down, you don't need the stress. If I knew why Damon was acting the way he's acting, don't you think I'd try to do something about it?"

"Has he gone completely mad? Since when does needing space mean that he starts writing off the people that have been there for him the whole time? How could he?" she snaps, anger at him burning hot inside of her. Standing up, she reaches into the refrigerator for a bottle of water. Shaking her head, she takes a swallow, wanting nothing more than to wring Damon's neck right now.

* * *

Surprisingly, Elena is a in a good mood this morning. Janie's visit cheered her up so much and then Bonnie's call was the icing on the cake. She is looking forward to spending the day with her and Noelle shopping. There's a play area made of giant breakfast food items like a bacon slice slide and a waffle and giants pancakes and the like. She knows that Noelle is going to have so much fun.

Although it seems like a pipedream right now, she hasn't entirely given up hope of having a child of their own. Even the thought of her belly bulging with Damon's child puts a smile on her face and makes her insides burn with the best kind of warmth. When she arrives at Bonnie and Enzo's home, she pulls up alongside the curb and stops the car. Getting out, she reaches into the backseat for the box of cupcakes she made. She sent a half a dozen of them home with Janie and brought the rest over here for Noelle.

Since it's early yet, she doesn't want to wake everyone so she walks around the house catching Enzo's form just as he steps back into the house. Hurrying behind him, she stops in the door when she sees how distraught Bonnie looks.

"What are we going to tell Elena?' she asks. As if feeling _her_ presence, she looks over her shoulder, her mouth parting when she sees Elena standing in the doorway.

"Going to tell Elena what exactly?"

Suddenly feeling the ground is shifting, Elena nearly drops the cupcakes. Quickly Enzo reaches for them and after setting them down on the counter, he tells her to sit down. Knowing that something is very wrong, she considers the expression on their faces. Nodding at Enzo, she pulls out a chair and sits down, thanking him when he hands her a cup of coffee. Suddenly her stomach is roiling like a typhoon and her heart is slamming inside of her throat, making it difficult for her to swallow. Steeling her spine, she braces herself for yet another body blow.

Bonnie and Enzo share a look so she knows it's bad. Bonnie takes her hand, squeezing it comfortingly when Enzo goes onto reveal what he witnessed the night before. Too stunned to speak, her pain too visceral and her insides raw, Elena doesn't know what to say. Although she'd like to be able to call him a liar, she knows that he would never fabricate something like that. Standing up, her eyes hollow, she starts to leave. She expected it to be bad but she wasn't prepared for this revelation, not even close.

* * *

Her belly is spinning so hard, she can taste the bile burn at the back of her throat. Holding onto the arm rest tightly, her fingernails are gripping it so hard that they're putting marks in the leather. Her nailbeds are white, her heart is thundering painfully against her chest wall. It dawns on her that this is the third time that she's coming here to confront her husband.

Today however, it feels different somehow. Looking over at Enzo, she feels a little more anger creeping in. Bonnie insisted that he drive her, saying that she was in no condition to do so. Nonsense, Elena thinks to herself, she was fine, maybe even too fine considering what dropped on her lap today. She overhears Bonnie telling Enzo that she was in shock and that they didn't want her to be alone when it wears off. No, it can't be true, this is just a nightmare, an awful, horrible nightmare. But when she feels the car stop, she snaps out of her stupor. Although Bonnie wanted to be with her too, Elena told her that a bar is no place for Noelle.

She's already out of the car before Enzo can help her. Knowing the finality of all of it, she's in no hurry so she waits for him to lock up the car and step in beside her. She tries to steel her resolve, she doesn't want to give Damon the satisfaction of seeing her break so she fists her hands so tightly that her fingernails pierce the soft skin of her palms.

It's nearly eleven in the morning. Enzo pulls the door open and she steps inside, letting her eyes adjust to the subdued lighting. Planting her feet, she looks around. The first person she recognizes is Ric. He's talking to that girl, the one that was here the last time. _Is that her_? she thinks to herself, feeling like her insides are being ripped out through her throat.

That girl is playing with an olive on a toothpick. As if she knows that Elena is watching her, Ruby turns around. Immediately recognizing her, Ruby gives her a smug look, as if to say that she won. Happening to look up, Ric sets another drink in front of Ruby then hurries over to greet _her_.

"Elena, are you here to see Damon?"

Elena is no fool and she can clearly see that he is uncomfortable. It's also strange that he's calling her Elena. Staring at him for what seems like an eternity, Elena doesn't say anything, she can't because she has no idea what to say. He nods at her gently then scurries away, disappearing down the hall. Enzo walks up beside her, pressing his palm against the small of her back to offer support.

When Enzo notices Ruby, she smiles sweetly and waves him over towards her. "Enzo, hi. It's nice to see you again!" Stunned, he opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, thankfully spared from having to answer her when Damon strides into the room behind Ric. The pit of Damon's stomach is burning like wildfire but he lets the cold veneer wash over him.

 _"Do your worst"_ she said and that's exactly what he intends to do.

Although he would rather be literally anywhere but here, he braces himself for the confrontation that's about to follow. When he happens to notice the smug, self satisfied expression on Ruby's face, he knows that he's going to have to plunge the dagger in no matter how viscerally it's going to hurt Elena. It has to be done, he reasons with himself. It's the only way she'll let him go.

"Did you change your mind? Are you bringing me the signed papers instead of confetti this time," he asks, his voice cold and distant.

"Is it true?" she asks, her façade cracking just slightly.

Before he can say anything, Ruby interrupts. Reaching for his hand, she smiles wickedly at Elena and then says to Damon, "Honey, I think I forgot my purse upstairs in your room. I'm just going to go pick it up while you... talk to her."

Cringing inside but rather than back off, he uses it to his advantage. Flashing a smile at her, he pulls her close. "Okay."

He waggles his brows and pats her backside as she struts away. Having watched the whole interaction, sickening her inside, Elena says nothing till the woman is out of sight. Suddenly it's like she and Damon are in this bubble as Ric and Enzo seem to blend into the background.

"I hope you enjoyed that little show because it hurts like hell..." she admits, doing everything in her power to keep her tears at bay.

"I'm not the same man, Elena. It's time you got that through that thick skull of yours," he retorts, his heart twisting painfully at what he has to do.

"You keep saying that... over and over. I guess I'm the fool here but trust me, now I get it. The Damon that I have loved from the moment I laid eyes on him would never have done this," she rages, her tone rising with each syllable that slips from her mouth.

Cringing when she uses the word loved, past tense, he nevertheless digs deeper. "I'm not talking about some random fuck..."

"I know," she screams, interrupting him before he can say anything else.

"So give me a chance to know the new you. We're supposed to be a team, we don't have to be alone in this.." She falters when images of her husband and that woman materialize right before her eyes.

"You're delusional, Elena. Do you honestly believe that I'm going to go into detail about every person that I've failed? People who are dead because of me? You don't know the half of it," he sneers. Pulling a cigarette out of his pocket, he lights it up. Taking a long puff, he pauses for a moment to get his second wind.

"You are too innocent, too good and much too naïve for the world that I belong to now."

Although she feels like breaking, she isn't ready to raise the white flag yet. "Please Damon, tell me. I can handle it. I'm not a porcelain doll that you need to keep packed inside bubble wrap." She wants to take his hand but as she moves forward ever so slightly, he jumps back.

Yelling now, he starts gesticulating wildly with his arms. "You can never understand and I don't want you to. Unless and until you spend a few years in prison, we have nothing to talk about."

Seeing that he now has her on the ropes, he goes in for the kill, "Get over it, Elena. Sign the fucking papers so I can be done with it and done with you," he spits. When he sees that she's reeling, he moves closer, ready to wield the coup de grace with precision.

When their faces are inches about, he screams in a lethal tone, "I. DON'T. WANT. YOU. ANYMORE."

Suddenly feeling the air leaving her lungs, Elena can't breathe. Her hand goes to her throat, her eyes darting wildly around the room looking for an escape. Turning, she points her finger at Enzo and yells, "Don't follow me! I don't want anyone from this family near me for the foreseeable future."

Without looking back at Damon, she runs out of the bar, slamming the door shut behind her. Despite her warning, Enzo runs after her. He looks both ways and as he starts to run one direction when he sees her darting into a taxi. Before he can reach her, the cab disappears into traffic.

"Son of a bitch," he curses knowing Bonnie is going to be apoplectic when he tells her what happened today.

Back inside the bar, Ric looks at Damon who's already helping himself to a double bourbon.

"You just screwed up, big time," he says then walks away, wanting nothing to do with his friend for the time being.

* * *

When the taxi reaches her house, she tries to pull some money out of her wallet but her hands are trembling. The man can see that she's on the verge of a breakdown. She steps out of the cab and takes his fee before walking her to the door. She's still breathing like a locomotive, her nostrils are flaring and her chest hurts. Whether it's from shock or anger, she really doesn't know or care. Once she's inside, she drops her purse to the floor. She wants to do something, needs to do something to make it stop hurting so much.

When she reaches the kitchen, she starts rifling through the drawers, throwing things over her shoulders, not caring what breaks or where it lands. She feels nothing when shards of glass pierce her lower legs when the mug shatters. Her mind is in a maelstrom, all she can hear are his words, "I don't want you anymore" pounding at her temples, imprinting the letters there with a searing lance of white hot pain. Her head is throbbing but she doesn't care. She has to stop the hurt in her heart somehow.

A sense of euphoria washes over her when she finally finds what she was looking for. When she picks up the cold steel, she feels almost orgasmic, knowing that her pain is going to end as soon as she pulls the trigger. With the gun in her hand, she goes back to the foyer. Her eyes are darting around and she thinks she shouldn't do it here, not here.

Picking up her purse, she stuffs it inside. When she pulls the front door open, she is pleasantly surprised to see the cab driver still parked in front of her house. Opening the car door, she slides in and tells the man where she wants to go. Her hands are sitting firmly on her purse as he pulls away from the curb to deliver her to the destination she seeks.

* * *

Raking his hand through his hair, Ric takes stock of the day. Ever since the blow out between Damon and Elena in front of the whole bar, the day has gone from bad to worse. He took it upon himself to escort Ruby out of the premises and put her in a cab telling her that if Damon wants to keep his job, he cannot be distracted by her anymore today or any day for that matter. He also reminds her that she has a job too. Knowing he has a lot of work today and that the SHIT between Damon and his wife and his mistress needs to come to a grinding halt, at least while he's on the clock.

After Elena left, Enzo went home to his pregnant wife and Damon has not ventured out of the kitchen except to use the men's room. He's no doubt wallowing with bourbon as well as cooking with it. Shaking his head, Ric pours himself a shot throwing it back before waiting on some of the customers that amble in. The TV is on a local station to watch their baseball team, The Santa Fe Fuego play. Chatting with one of the customers, they stop talking immediately when they hear a breaking news bulletin chiron flash across the screen.

 _"We're sorry to interrupt local programming but we have breaking news. There has been a shooting at the Santa Fe County Courthouse. We have Andie Starr on scene. What can you tell us, Andie?"_

 _"Thank you, John. We're told a woman walked into the building, pulled out a gun and started shooting randomly. My sources tell me that no one was injured except the assailant who herself was shot by a guard when she refused to drop her weapon. I'm told that she was acting crazed and rambling incoherently."_

 _"Have your sources told you anything about the identity of the assailant?"_

 _"My source tells me that the woman has been identified as Elena Salvatore."_

 _"Is she in police custody? Do you know where she is now?" John, in studio, asks._

 _"We're told that she's been taken to the hospital for medical care and then if she survives her injuries, she'll likely be evaluated to determine competency. This is Andie Starr signing off."_

In shock and gawping like a fish, Ric finally finds his voice yelling hysterically.

"Damon! Get out here now! Elena is on the news!"

* * *

 _If you can make it through this chapter, they'll be another one in a day or two._

 _This Damon is a lot like TVD Damon. After everything that happened to him with Vaughn, the gruesome crime scenes, seeing little Faye bleed out in front of him and then a horrific stint in prison, his feelings of self worth are non existent. He hates himself as much as all of you probably hate him now too._

 _Chapter title: 'The Thunder Rolls' by Garth Brooks._

 _Thank you all so much for your kind reviews and friendship. You're all the BEST!_

 _And Eva, there are no words to say how much you mean to me._

 _Be safe and have a fantastic day. There will be another chapter, likely Wednesday. Thank you again so much._


	11. Need You Now

The closer the driver brings her to her destination, the more resolute Elena becomes. Her hands are still firmly laying atop her handbag, knowing that it carries the means to make her heart stop hurting. When the man pulls up alongside the curb to let her out, a smile erupts on her face, a genuine one. Reaching into her purse, her hand brushes against the cool steel causing her to blink her eyes.

 _Not much longer now._

Her hands are steady as she pays the man and steps out of the cab. As she starts to walk towards the building, she pauses and turns around, quite surprised to see the driver looking at her. A curious thought flashes through her mind wondering why he hesitated to leave her house and why he seems to be hesitating now. The thought disappears just as quickly as it came. The only thing that matters is that she once again failed someone that she loves. And so she continues her trek towards the entrance of the Santa Fe County Courthouse.

The system took Damon from her and because of that, she can't follow him. It's not that she doesn't want to, he won't let her. He doesn't want her anymore, he yelled the words so fiercely that she had no choice but to believe him. He couldn't have been more clear in spewing his contempt for her. Her mind starts to blur and distort. She has the weirdest sensation of looking down from above at what her body is doing below.

It's strange she thinks, her mind watching as her body moves steadily forward. Everything that she's doing makes perfect sense. She has no doubts left, no fears, no heartbreak and she feels incredibly refreshed as if she just woke up from a long sleep. Her mind focuses solely on the building in front of her, the one that took her husband away. And now it's going to take her away too so she can pass into Damon's world, wherever that may be.

When she reaches the door, a man stomps out his cigarette then pulls it open for her. She nods but says nothing as she steps inside. Whereas everything was crystal clear just a few moments ago, now everything seems to be a morass of pain and fog. As she approaches the security line, she hesitates, clutching her purse firmly against her abdomen. When one of the guards looks at her a little strangely, she starts to back away. Something snaps in her mind, it's like she and the guard are the only two people here, she watches with wild eyes as he starts to walk towards her.

Suddenly she feels like a caged animal with nowhere to run, no escape in sight. Having no sense of herself or where she is, all she knows is that she's scared. In her mind, she needs to protect herself from that man. As if running on autopilot, she pulls the gun out of her purse and starts to fire. Everything is moving in slow motion, people are screaming but she can't hear any sound. Others are running out of the building with a look of sheer terror on their faces. When her eyes meet the guard's again, she can't process anything that's happening, everything is whirling around in an unrecognizable vortex of fog, confusion and deafening silence.

Elena sees the guard's lips moving but she doesn't recognize a word. She doesn't have a clue as to what's going on. Incredible fatigue overwhelms her so she stops and relaxes her hand, letting the weapon fall to the floor. She almost doesn't feel the blow that sends her flying backwards before everything goes cold and black.

* * *

Nervous and dying inside, Damon is as white as a sheet. Cursing every time they have to slow for a red light, he about loses his mind. The radio is turned on for any updates on the shooting but mostly they hear what Ric already heard on the news. Ric can see that Damon is quite literally scared shitless. His fingernails are digging into the leather of the arm rests, his foot is tapping relentlessly against the floor.

When Ric slows down to stop yet again, Damon growls out in frustration, "They're not saying where they've taken her of if she's even alive..." Before Ric can reply, Damon is punching a number on his phone, saying aloud, "Come on, come on, Enzo! Pick up the fucking phone."

"Damon give it a minute. We're stuck right now anyway, most likely because of the shooting."

"I don't have a fucking minute. She may not... Enzo? Thank Christ," Damon blurts aloud, his voice cracking as the words pour out.. "Call your boss and find out where they took her."

"What the hell are you going on about?" Enzo asks, not following at all. He just came into the house from mowing the lawn. With Bonnie and Noelle napping, he wanted to take a quick shower.

"Just turn on the TV or the radio and then call them, alright? I need to know where she is.."

Feeling completely helpless, Damon ends the call. His heart is pounding painfully hard against his chest. Breathing heavily, he looks through the window, wishing that he had the power to turn back time. Remorse and crippling guilt are spreading through him like tendrils on a vine, wrapping around his stomach and squeezing so hard he almost feels the urge to vomit. Swallowing thickly he somehow swallows the feeling back down. Minutes pass like hours and each time he looks at his watch, only a few seconds have passed. He's going to lose his mind before he sees her if they don't find out something soon.

Ric doesn't know how to comfort him other than to get him safely to the hospital. No matter how screwed up this entire situation is, he can't help but feel for his friend. Moments later Damon's phone rings. Seeing that it's Enzo, Damon clicks it on. After telling him which hospital she's been taken to, there's dead silence.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Damon..., it doesn't look good.." Fearing the worst, the phone slips from his hand. In shock, he tells Ric which hospital, his voice monotonic as he stares straight ahead, hoping only that they arrive in time.

* * *

Ric doesn't even have the engine turned off before Damon jumps out of the car and sprints into the building. As soon as Ric steps through the sliding glass doors, he sees Damon making a right turn before disappearing. Hurrying down the hall, he ducks down the same one. Seeing the sign for the surgical waiting room, he figures that is the most likely place where her family would go. As soon as he steps into the room, he sees Damon standing in front of the window. He can see the anguished reflection of his face on the glass. Approaching him, he takes Damon and leads him to a chair. After getting them each a cup of coffee they sit down.

Not long after a few cops pour into the room. He is a little surprised when Damon doesn't do anything but stare straight ahead. As soon as he finishes his coffee, Ric tells him that he needs to get back to the bar to take care of a few things but that he'll be back later. Nodding, Damon stands up and walks him to the door, watching till he disappears at the corner. Turning around, he sees the gathering of police officers. He remembers all too well what it was like to be included in group like this. Usually it was when one of his fellow officers was shot. But the radio said that the only person injured in the shooting was Elena herself. He hopes that's true because if she shot a cop, she isn't going to see daylight anytime soon.

As he looks at some familiar faces, some not at all, when he sees Mason, he breathes a sigh of relief. Finally there's someone he knows that he can speak to. He hesitates for just a moment but because his worry for Elena overrides everything else, he approaches him. "Lockwood," Damon says, offering his hand.

Mason stares for a few seconds but then nods and shakes his hand, "Salvatore...?"

"Look Mason, this doesn't have to be uncomfortable. I don't blame you for anything. You told the truth as you saw it. I know that you tried to help me but the prosecutor shut you down."

Turning away for a moment, Mason then raises his eyes to Damon's once more. "I'm really sorry about your wife, Damon. I truly am. I will do everything in my power to help her."

Damon swallows thickly and nods appreciatively because he knows the man is being sincere. "Do you know anything? Is she...?" He can't finish the sentence, he can't say that word.

"She's in surgery, that's all I know. The doctor should come out here when he finishes with her."

Hesitating for a moment, Damon drops his gaze then adds, "Can I see her? I need to see her.. It's important."

After several seconds pass, Mason reassures him, "You know that's against protocol," he pauses, looking over at his men for a few seconds before returning his attention to Damon. "Come to me if I'm here when she's out of surgery. I will help in any way I can."

Bobbing his head, he shakes Mason's hand then walks to the corner and collapses into one of the chairs. All he can do now is to wait.

* * *

Staring out of the window, Damon watches the sky light up with lightning before the sound of thunder replies literally causing the windows to vibrate beneath his fingertips. The sky is dark, the moon shrouded by cloud cover and Damon can feel a chill that has nothing to do with the temperature outside. On edge, he can't sit still, all he can think about is Elena and the fact that he destroyed her. Feeling his eyes start to well up, he presses his forehead against the cool glass. Once in awhile one of the cops he used to work with will walk over to say hello. Most he knows, some he doesn't but he doesn't care. This isn't about him, it's about her.

When he hears a familiar high pitched voice, he quickly wipes his eyes and looks up just in time to see Bonnie, Enzo and a little girl approaching him. He shares a quick glance with Mason and then turns his focus back towards his sister. He realizes that this is the first time he's seen his niece other than in pictures. She's a beautiful blend of both Bonnie and Enzo. He has to drop his eyes for a moment when the thought strikes him that he ruined any chance of that happening for himself and Elena.

When Bonnie says his name, he quickly looks up and meets her half way. Bonnie's eyes are red and puffy and her expression not exactly friendly yet she still throws her arms around his neck and hugs him fiercely. Several seconds pass before she lets go and when she does, she lets him have it with both barrels.

"I want to strangle you, Damon Salvatore. I just..." Shaking her head, she adds, "How is she?"

"Still in surgery... It must be bad, Bonnie. It been a long time," he whispers. Although he's on the cusp of total break down, somehow he manages to keep it together. He finds that he can't stop staring at Noelle and she him. Extending his arms, the little girl looks at her daddy and then her mommy before leaning forward to let him take her into his arms. He's grateful for the distraction that she affords. When he stares into her beautiful little face, he realizes how silly he was for worrying about seeing her in person. With _her_ always hovering on the periphery, he was certain that the minute he laid eyes on Noelle that he'd see not his niece but little Faye.

She's a miracle he thinks. Holding her in his arms, he bounces her up and down till she's giggling and her little face is glowing with a huge smile. If only he could feel that free and unburdened again. Damon is astounded, his heart growing when she palms either cheek and brushes her lips against his to give him a sloppy kiss. Choking up, he swallows past the lump in his throat and gives her a hug.

Looking around with her in the crook of his neck, he notices Mason coming closer at the same time he sees a man in scrubs approaching the gathering of police officers. Damon hands Noelle back to Bonnie before hurrying over to the doctor.

"I'm Mr. Salvatore, Elena's husband," he says, introducing himself. He notices the doctor relax as he turns away from the cops and focuses only on Damon and Mason. "How is she, how is my wife?"

"She's intubated and will be transferred to the intensive care unit. The bullet tore through her abdomen, damaging her liver and spleen. Both organs are very vascular so she lost a lot of blood. We gave her five units in surgery. We'll be monitoring her blood work frequently. She's on a Levophed drip to keep her blood pressure up. The next twenty four to thirty six hours are critical."

"Oh God," Damon utters, his heart beating like a freight train and his belly churning chaotically. Seconds later, he pulls himself together and asks, "When can I see her?"

"She's still in recovery. I'll send someone to come for you after they get her settled in ICU."

After shaking Damon and Mason's hands, he turns on his heels and walks out of the waiting room. Suddenly feeling his insides swirl and heat up, Damon hurries into the closest men's room. Dropping to his knees, he loses what little is in his gut before collapsing onto the floor, his heart being pierced from every possible angle.

* * *

After being shown to the ICU waiting area, Damon finds himself alone again. Enzo insisted and Damon agreed that he needed to take Bonnie and Noelle home to get some rest. Even though he's edgy and his stomach is upset from overdosing on caffeine, he pours himself yet another cup. Walking over to the window, he looks out over the horizon. The storm has passed and now the moon is in its full glory. He remembers how much Elena likes to go camping and how she loved to lay in their pick up box in their sleeping bags just staring up at the stars. Taking a sip of coffee, he doesn't notice Ric till he feels a hand on his shoulder. Damon turns around and thanks him for coming back.

He welcomes Ric's presence even though he knows that he is still pissed with him about earlier in the day, he and Elena having the blow up in his place in front of his customers. He doesn't blame him, hell, he's pissed at himself. If the last conversation he ever had with her was about Ruby and if the last thing she'll ever have heard from his mouth is that he doesn't want her anymore, he won't survive. He knows he won't. As hard as it would be, he could live seeing her happy with someone else but this.. there's no coming back from it if she succumbs to her injuries.

After Ric pours himself a cup of coffee, he sits down opposite of Damon. Unable to look at him, Damon blurts out, "I didn't sleep with her, Ruby, I mean." He didn't mean to tell him but he can't live with it any longer. Ric is his friend and the easiest person for him to confide in right now.

Not quite sure he heard correctly, Ric asks incredulously, "I'm sorry but what did you just say?"

"I could never cheat on Elena. I know I'm a jackass but I wouldn't cross that line. I slipped a mickey into Ruby's drink and then I slept on the couch. I thought I was doing the right thing by my wife, letting her go before she would lose herself in my darkness too."

"For fuck's sake," Rick growls in exasperation. "YOU..." he starts to say pausing when a nurse approaches Damon.

A feeling of fear unlike anything he's ever known before begins to burn out of control now. He's so afraid at what he's going to see but he's even more afraid to not see her. When the nurse tells him that Detective Lockwood has given permission for him to see his wife, he stands up. He follows the nurse, looking over his shoulder at Ric before leaving the room to come face to face with what he's done.

* * *

The nurse leads him to her doorway. There's a police officer standing guard because he knows she's under arrest. Although Damon is absolutely certain that he's responsible for this, he has to know what she was thinking, taking a gun into a federal building. And then just like that it hits him squarely in the chest, literally punching the air out of his lungs. She wanted to die, that's the only conceivable answer for what she did. His knees weaken as he stumbles slightly, grabbing onto the doorframe to keep himself upright. Unable to move his stare from her prone and deathly still figure, tears start to fall from his eyes _. He did this to her_

As soon as he gets his balance back, he pushes himself, crossing the threshold into her room. She's as white as the sheets that are draping her body. The tube is taped to her face, her eyes are closed, the only sounds he hears are the whooshing of the ventilator and the humming noises of the other machines. Every instinct is telling him to run away and God, he wants to. Seeing her like this hurts deeper and more viscerally than any beating that he took in prison.

Instead of running, he walks over to her bedside. Brushing the back of his fingers wispily along her pale skin, he squeezes his eyes closed to try to get some semblance of control. Staring at her, he leans over and brushes a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

Dropping his mouth to her ear, he whispers, "I love you Elena, I never stopped, not ever. Please, please come back, you can't die, you just can't. Even if I've lost you forever, there is no world for me without you in it."

He knows she is physically unable to respond but it still hurts because he's the one who pulled the trigger when he told her that he didn't want her. How could he be so damn cruel?

 _'We hurt the ones that we love the most'_ Damon thinks, his face contorting in agony as he stares at the whitish hue of her lips. He closes his eyes long enough to regain his composure. He takes several deep shuddering breaths and then looks around for a chair. Pulling it over to her bedside, he sits down.

Taking her hand between his, he feels his blood roaring in his ears. Wiping the tears away, he pulls her hand to his lips and holds it there for a few minutes. Cradling it between his two once more, he looks up at her pallid, motionless figure, the only movement is the rise and fall of her chest as the machine pumps oxygen into her lungs and body.

Now knowing that he needs her more than he needs air to breathe, Damon swears on all that is holy that he will never leave her again... the only caveat being if she wants nothing more to do with him. He knows he deserves all of her scorn and everyone else's for that matter. Pulling the chair even closer, he squeezes her hand even tighter, promising with everything good left in him that he will never let her go.

* * *

 _I'm sorry I'm so late posting this. I had to attend a four hour class at the hospital that turned into a five hour class..._

 _Thank you all so much for your kind reviews and friendship. You're all the best, TRULY._

 _And Eva, there are no words to say how much you mean to me._

 _Chapter title: 'Need You Now' by Lady Antebellum._

 _'Tomorrow' will update next._

 _She and I are finally getting back to "The Devil's Teeth". We've been working on it for a long time, I kept losing my way with it but now we tweaked the plot a little and we're on it._

 _I hope you all have a fantastic rest of your day._


	12. Need to Be Next to You

As one day bleeds into the next, Damon has almost lost the concept of time. He's very lucky that Ric is an understanding boss and hasn't fired him for not being on the job. He is so grateful to Mason for allowing him to spend this time with her. Glancing over at the bouquet of blush colored roses, he smiles tightly. She carried some when she walked down the aisle to take his hand and pledge herself to him.

 _God, how could he be such a damn fool?_ Every day he hopes, prays for an absolution that may never come. He begs her to wake up so he can apologize and tell her that it was all an act and every day she doesn't. Two long days and since he last looked into those beautiful brown eyes of hers. The doctor said they're going to start weaning her off of the medication so hopefully she will open them soon.

Letting go of her hand for a moment, he walks over to the window, staring out at the bright blue sunny sky. The clouds are wisps, brushed across the endless expanse as if being blown by someone's breath. Looking to his left, the Jemez Mountains come into view. When he drops his eyes to the parking lot below, he sees an older couple approaching the front entrance.

That's when it occurs to him that Elena's family should be here. Has anyone called them? Even though the thought of seeing them is disconcerting, knowing what he did to her, he knows that he or someone needs to call them. But how, he doesn't even have a phone number anymore?

He's going to have to see if there's a number in her chart or something from an old hospitalization. At least he can tell them that she's stabilized and barring any unforeseen complication, she is expected to make a full recovery. Damon will thank the heavens until his dying day for this miracle.

Sitting down, he takes her hand between his and lays his head down on the mattress. He's been awake for the better part of two days with only a nap here and there in the mean time. With her hand as his anchor, he closes his eyes and lets fatigue consume him.

 _Having zipped their sleeping bags together, they're laying in the box of his pickup, staring up at the night sky. He parked in a secluded spot so they could make love under the stars and that's exactly what they did. Now in the aftermath, he's holding her in his arms. Brushing his lips against her damp hair, he looks down to see her looking up at him. The moonlight illuminates her eyes and the twinkle in his own. He gives her little ass a pinch and then yells aloud, "I love you, Elena Gilbert" which causes a giggle to escape her mouth. Leaning up on one arm, he smiles widely when she kisses him back._

 _"Hold that thought," he groans when she wraps her hand around his length. Raising up, he pulls a tiny box out of his pillow case. When she sees it, her eyes light up like a fire fly. Popping open the lid, he takes the heart shaped diamond ring out, holding it in his now shaky fingers._

 _"I love you, Elena. Will you marry me?" Their eyes meet and the earth shifts on its axis. When she bobs her head up and down, he slides the ring on her finger and then rolls her underneath him._

* * *

Feeling someone jostle his arm, he lurches upright. His eyes immediately drop to hers. Although they're still closed, he can see them fluttering beneath her lids. The doctor tells him that he needs to leave the room and reluctantly he does so. He doesn't want to do anything that would force Mason to revoke his visitation privileges. After running his lips over her forehead, the corner of her mouth and one of her still pale cheeks, he steps out and walks to the waiting room. His eyes are downcast and he heads straight for the coffee machine. When he feels a hand on his forearm, he whips around, getting the shock of his life when he sees her. Caught off guard, he forces a smile because he knows that he has to tell her about all the horrible things he did to Elena.

"Mama, what are you doing here?"

Damon can tell by the look on her face that she'd like nothing more than to lambaste him too. It's not that he doesn't deserve it, he rationalizes in his mind.

"What am I doing here? That's a silly question. I love her as much as I love my own flesh and blood. I'm worried about her and you," she tells him firmly. Taking his hand, she leads him over to one of the chairs. She knows her son so well so it doesn't take her long to put two and two together.

"What did you do, Damon?"

His head snaps towards hers. Picking up his coffee, he takes a swallow then asks, "How do you figure that I did something?"

Janie gives him the look that he remembers so well when he was a kid. It's like she has this sixth sense where he's concerned, she's always, always had it.

"Why do I ask? She was fine the day before. I drove in and the two of us spent the afternoon together. She seemed down at first but I had hoped that I was able to take her mind off of her troubles for a little while. She was good when I left her."

Having never been able to lie to his mother, he drops his eyes, admitting, "I let her think that I cheated on her."

Her mouth parts in shock as she stares at him. Finally when she can string two words together, she gives him that disappointed look that he hates so much.

"Even the most stubborn man on the planet would have been able to see how much she loves you.. but you didn't give her enough credit. I love you, son, but if you push her away, if it's too late to fix this, it's the biggest mistake that you will ever have made."

"I know, mama," he whispers, unable to look at her. Silence passes for several minutes before Damon sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "How did you get here?"

"Enzo is going to pick me up. Bonnie isn't feeling good today."

Only now remembering Elena's family, he asks Janie about them. Pausing, she takes a drink of water and after setting her bottle down, she shifts in her seat to face him.

"I talked to them yesterday. They've been in touch with her doctor. They were visiting Grayson's sister, Betsy in Texas but they're on their way home now."

"I've been dreading running into them quite honestly," Damon admits, rather embarrassed now that he's so estranged from Elena's family. "And Jeremy? Why hasn't he come?"

Taking his hand, her breath hitches slightly. "Damon.. Jeremy died a year after you went to prison."

Rendered speechless all Damon can do is stare at her, his eyes wide with shock.

* * *

With her eyes fluttering, Elena hears voices all around but none sound familiar to her. Her mind is a morass of pain, confusion and darkness. She can't see anything through the fog, it's thick and wet and cold. She's looking all around but she can't find her way. When it clears slightly, she realizes that she's in a cemetery. Frightened, she spins around trying to find her way out but the fog closes in again, shrouding her escape. Feeling a hand on her arm, she startles and looks up.

 _"Jeremy?"_

 _"Yes, sister?"_

 _"Where are we?"_

 _When he takes her hand, the fog clears and she realizes that she's in a tree maze with her brother. The family is on vacation in east Texas visiting their aunt Betsy and Uncle Mike. For an afternoon of fun, they take the two of them to this place. When she found herself lost, she started crying, calling for him to save her. Minutes pass like hours till he finally finds her, tucked in one of the corners, her body trembling in fear. She then feels Jeremy's hand holding her own. He leads her out and as soon as she knows she's safe, she leaps into his arms, thanking him for saving her._

 _"I love you Jeremy," she whispers._

 _"Wake up, Elena," is the last thing he says before disappearing into the mist._

The next voice she hears is one she'd recognize anywhere. Damon.

 _Why does he sound so sad?_ She can feel his hand on hers and she wants to squeeze it but she can't move, she can't talk, she can do nothing.

 _"_ _Is this even real?"_ It doesn't matter to her if it is or isn't because in her mind, he's here. She can feel him, smell him, and hear his deep sweet voice and the many ways she used to hear him murmur during the nights together.

 _She could die happy just listening to the masculine lilt of it as she fades away to nothingness._ She thinks she feels his lips brush wispily across her forehead and her cheek and the corner of her mouth.

Then suddenly a loud droning noise fills her subconscious. The sound is keeping her from hearing his voice, from feeling his lips. At the same time her eyes start to flutter wildly, she feels like she can't breathe, there's something in her throat. She struggles against the restraints to free herself.

She thinks she hears a voice telling her to calm down but she can't, she continues to struggle until she starts to blissfully relax as a warm feeling spreads through her veins. When she finally opens her bleary eyes, the first thing she focuses in on is a cop and the chain around her ankle and then everything comes into sharp focus, a frightened gasp leaves her lips at the same time tears form in her eyes.

With a raspy voice barely above a whisper, she asks fearfully, "What did I do?"

* * *

As reluctant as he was to do so, Damon finally gives into Janie's urgings to go back to his place to take a shower and get some sleep. She promised him that she would stay near Elena until he returns. Despite his worry, sheer exhaustion won the war and he did sleep some ten hours. As soon as he wakes, he hurries to get dressed so he can get back to the hospital. When he reaches the main part of the bar, Ric hands him a travel mug and tosses Damon his car keys. Having no idea how he'll ever repay the man, Damon is speechless.

"Go to your wife, Damon. Your job is safe," Ric says, offering a terse smile.

"I promise I'll pay you back somehow," he tells him then picks up the mug and hurries towards the door. He doesn't even notice Ruby when he passes her running out of the door. Feeling more than a little miffed, she stalks to the bar to ask Ric where Damon has been the last couple of days.

"His wife is in the hospital," Ric starts to say, suddenly feeling a little irate when she rolls her eyes.

"He loves his wife Ruby so you may as well set your sights on someone else." Before she can say anything, he turns his back to her and moves on to another customer.

* * *

Due to a car accident, traffic is moving slowly. He's frustrated by the time he finally arrives at the hospital. When he reaches Elena's door, he's stopped in his tracks by a new police officer, one that Damon doesn't know.

"What are you doing? I was given permission to see my wife by Mason Lockwood."

"Those privileges have been revoked for now. She's awake and in police custody so no more visitors," he explains to Damon.

"I demand to see her doctor then," Damon says and by sheer happenstance Dr. Tobias Fell rounds the corner and approaches the room. Taking Damon aside, Dr. Fell tells him that the visitor situation is out of his hands. But since Damon is her next of kin, he updates him on her condition which makes Damon breathe just a little easier. After thanking him, Damon goes into the waiting room but he's going mad not being able to see her or touch her soft skin or press a kiss to her smooth lips. Standing in his usual space in front of the window, he startles, reeling back with a closed fist when he feels a hand on his arm.

"Jesus, Enzo!" he says, relieved that he didn't punch his brother in law. "You know I'm an ex con, Enzo. Things happened that I can't talk about."

"You don't always react like this," Enzo mentions, scrutinizing him carefully.

"No not always, just from time to time."

"I had a word with Mason. Since she didn't hurt anyone, there's no reason for homicide to be involved. So you're just going to have to do what you're told. I'm sorry that you can't be with her. She's not allowed visitors. Maybe you should go back to work and try to get your mind off of it for awhile?"

"I want to see her, Enzo. I need to tell her that everything I said to her was a lie."

"I wish I could help Damon but my hands are tied too."

"I know," he adds, turning away and pressing his palm against the glass, feeling completely out of sorts because he's helpless to do anything for his wife. Enzo stays with Damon for an hour or so before he goes home to entertain Noelle so Bonnie can get some rest. Damon looks up just in time to see Caroline stalking over towards him. Standing up to greet her, Damon can see that she's angry judging by the rather ominous look on her face. As soon as she's in front of Damon, she rears back and slaps him so hard that his head snaps to the side.

"What the hell?" he growls, rubbing his palm over his cheek.

"That's for treating her like shit. She stuck by you through everything because she loves you and trusted in the sanctity of your marriage vows. But the minute you got out, you turned your back and had her served with divorce papers. You are an asshole and you don't deserve her. This is all your fault."

Although she hasn't said anything that he didn't already know, it still hurts to hear it voiced out loud. Blowing out a breath of air, he turns and walks over to the window. Stepping beside him, Caroline stares outside too. "How is she?"

"She's awake. They revoked my visitation as soon as that happened. Look, Caroline, you're right, everything you said is true but you have my word that I'm going to do everything in my power to make it up to her. I love her more than life itself. I thought I was doing the right thing. She's beautiful and vibrant and full of life, I didn't want to drag her down with me. Believe me, I hate myself more than you could ever hate me. What does it say about me that it took a tragedy to realize what I was so carelessly throwing away."

"She loves you, I don't know why quite honestly but she does. I have to get back to the studio, but hear me loud and clear, Damon. If you ever, ever hurt her again, you will have me to answer to. I will make your life a living hell. That's not a threat, it's a promise."

After sharing an intense look, she turns on her heels and walks out, leaving him to contemplate the enormity of her words.

* * *

As the days wear on, Damon is losing his ever loving mind. Because of his agitation, Ric and Enzo are going insane themselves. His only saving grace is that they understand why he's jumpy and on edge. He still hasn't been allowed to see her. The only positive thing in all of it is that Elena appears to be doing well. Dr. Fell assured him that she's healing and that she'll likely be discharged soon.

The caveat being that he doesn't know what the police have in mind for her discharge. Damon drove down to the police station to talk to Mason. Although it's not his case, he was able to find out that Elena seemed to have no concept of what she was doing. She was rambling incoherently and acted like had no idea where she was. Damon knows that public safely and preventing a mass killing was and is of utmost importance.

Yet when he found out that she dropped her gun just before the bullet struck her, launching her backwards for several feet, he felt the incredible urge to strangle someone. From what he's been told, the guard fired at almost the same time that the gun slipped from her hand. A few seconds would have made all the difference.

It's killing Damon that he can't see her, see for himself that she's living and breathing. He can't talk to her on the phone and he can't touch her soft, pale skin. What he wouldn't do right now to hear her reaming him a new one for treating her like shit and making her think that she didn't mean anything to him. How on earth is he ever going to be able to apologize enough for hurting her so viscerally that it made her want to take her own life?

And then he thinks about the fact that she kept Jeremy's death from him. He cannot even begin to imagine why. She and her brother were extremely close. He imagines that a little part of her died inside when she had to say goodbye to him.

It seems every time he closes his eyes, he hears his own words echoing in his mind, _"I don't want you anymore"_ and it's killing him slowly.

But he can't run away again, he has to try to make things right with her even if it takes till his dying day. Dropping his forehead onto his hands, he weaves his fingers into his hair and tugs hard. Could he be anymore of a damn fool?

Damon is beyond relieved when Mason calls to assure him that it won't be long. Each second passes like hours but as long as he knows there is light at the end of the tunnel, he'll survive. Deciding to take his mom's advice and go back to work, he starts cleaning up the lunch dishes so he can put them in the dishwasher, readying them for the evening crowd.

After finishing up, he assembles what he needs to make the tonight's menu items. Needing a break, he takes off his apron and walks out to the main area of the bar where he sees Ruby. As if she can sense him, she looks up and licks her lips flirtatiously. Sighing, Damon walks over and takes the seat beside her.

"Damon," she says, dropping her palm to his leg. Before she can reach her destination, he jumps off of the stool. It's his fault that she thinks there's something between them so he doesn't want to be mean but he will as a last resort.

"Ruby, I don't want to hurt you, I really don't but what we had, it was fake. I needed to make my wife think that I didn't want her anymore and you were the means to do that. I'm sorry I used you. It was wrong and you didn't deserve that but you need to know that there is nothing between us, there never will be. I love my wife and if it takes moving heaven and earth to get her back, that's what I'm going to do."

"But Damon, you told her that you didn't want her anymore," Ruby protests, trying to touch him again.

"I lied to her. It's because of me, she's laying in a hospital bed with a bullet hole in her belly. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for my lunacy. Even if she doesn't want me anymore, I am still going to do whatever it takes to at least earn her forgiveness. Please don't make this harder than it is. There is no choice to make, Ruby, I will always choose her."

"Um okay, it was nice while it lasted," she mumbles. Without looking at him again, she grabs her bag from the bar top and hurries out of the building. Shaking his head, Damon sits back down and orders a cup of coffee. When Ric slides it to him, he picks it up and takes a long swallow, grimacing a little because it's hot. Looking up at his friend who has his arms crossed, Damon chuckles inappropriately.

"See how far I've fallen. I have to break up a fake relationship," he quips, rolling his eyes at the insanity of it all.

* * *

Time continues to pass at a snail's pace. She's been in the hospital around ten days now and is ready for discharge according to Dr. Fell. He hasn't seen Ruby in the place since he told her that she means nothing to him. Honestly, he's happy about that. When he saw her that last time, all he could see in his head was Elena's devastated face just before she left the bar that day.

Going into the supply room, he pulls out some clean rags and the Windex to clean the fingerprints off of the mirrors. Feeling his phone vibrate, he pulls it out of his pocket. Seeing it's Enzo, he picks up immediately. "Did something happen? Did they send her to jail?" he blurts out before Enzo has a chance to utter a word.

" _No, Damon, calm down. She's alright. It's just that at the hearing today, the Judge ruled she needs to undergo a psychiatric evaluation."_

"When can I see her?" Damon asks, his heart beating chaotically inside of his chest.

 _"You can't see her, Damon. She's already been transferred out of the hospital to a mental health facility."_

"What do you mean gone? They can't do this. I need to see her, Enzo. I'm her husband, I should have some say in it," he protests, his roiling belly causing the bile to burn into his throat. He hears a deep sigh from his end of the phone line.

 _"Damon, she didn't want to see you."_

* * *

 _Thank you all so much for your reviews, follows, favorites, encouraging words, endless support and friendship. YOU ARE ALL THE BEST._

 _And Eva, without you, I would not be here. Your wisdom, brilliance and insight are remarkable. Thank you for everything you do for me. Love you._

 _Chapter title: 'Need To Be Next To You' by Leigh Nash._

 _I did publish a one-shot "I Love You, Goodbye" not long ago. Don't let the title scare you away ;)_

 _Have a phenomenal day. Thank you all again._


	13. Symmetry

Waking up, Elena stretches her limbs. As her eyes flutter open lazily, the harsh reality of where she is crashes into her like a freight train. The room is painted a pale taupe shade but they're rather stark. The queen sized bed gives her room to spread out and for that she is grateful. There are blinds on the big window and a beautiful view of the New Mexico landscape. It feels peaceful out here.

She thinks that some bright pictures would make the room more copacetic to healing as it were. Shifting in bed to lay on her side, she folds her hands under her face and stares at the window. She can see the brilliant blue sky with barely a cloud to be seen. The bed is quite comfortable so she closes her eyes again, hoping maybe to fall back to sleep for a little while. Her mind is too busy now to afford her that luxury. Even though she only arrived yesterday morning, to her, it feels like she's been here for weeks already.

Chancing a glance at the clock, she knows that she should get up. She's supposed to meet with Dr. Mikaelson for her first formal session. He did introduce himself yesterday and welcome her before one of the staff showed her around and then led her here. Throwing her legs over the side of the bed, she rubs her eyes and looks at her surroundings for a few moments.

She's not far from Damon, only about seventy miles. When she thinks about it all, she's so ashamed of herself for what she's done. Shaking her head, she realizes how lucky she was that she didn't hurt anyone. The thought of living with that constantly in the back of her mind is excruciating to think about. It almost makes her understand Damon a little bit more.

"Maybe I am crazy?" she says softly, dropping her face into her hands. After sitting on the edge of the bed for several minutes, she stands up to get dressed so she can go to her appointment with the doctor.

Once she's dressed, she leaves the safety of her room to venture out into the facility. She stops to pour herself a cup of coffee, secures the lid on it and then slowly walks towards his office as if she's walking to the gallows. As soon as she steps inside, all she wants to do is turn around and run away but she knows that she can't. The Judge could very easily have sent her to jail and thrown away the key so she should be grateful for this opportunity.

Stepping in front of the reception desk, she tells the woman that she's here for her appointment. The woman smiles and informs the doctor. Just as she puts the coffee cup to her mouth, he steps out, a comfortable smile gracing his handsome face. He uses his arm to gesture for her to come in. After he closes the door, he tells her to take a seat. She's tense and jumpy and that does not go unnoticed by him.

"Why don't you tell me what happened, Elena, what led up to that moment?" he asks, his voice soft and she understands that he's trying to facilitate things for her.

"I guess it all started when he went to prison, my husband I mean. I went to see him every couple of weeks but he started to withdraw. It's like he was with me, his body I mean, but his mind was always somewhere else. If you're not aware, he was convicted of involuntary manslaughter for the murder of one of Galen Vaughn's victims, a little girl. Damon was never the same after that.

To make a long story short, he was released after two and half years. He didn't come home. He got himself a job in downtown Santa Fe at a bar. He didn't even tell me. I confronted him about it, telling him that I wouldn't give up on him but then he had me served with divorce papers. It killed me that he would do that after everything. I told him that I wouldn't sign anything. I tore the papers to shreds right in front of him," she explains in a monotonic voice that cracks a little at times. After taking another swallow of coffee she looks up at him, surprisingly feeling a little more at ease in his presence.

"Then I found out that he was having an affair. He told me that he couldn't share himself with me. I mean that I was too innocent and naïve to share his prison experience and he wouldn't drag me down. I saw him kiss her and touch her. But when he told me that he didn't want me anymore... I.. I," she stops, reaching for a Kleenex to wipe her now moist eyes.

"I remember thinking that maybe if I was sent to prison too that he would let me in. I don't honestly remember much after that. It's all a muddled mess that I can't seem to put the pieces together. I only know what they told me I did but I swear to you that I don't remember any of it. The next thing I knew I was waking up in a hospital bed. I knew that I must have done something terrible because my ankle was chained to it and there was an officer there too. I asked if I hurt anybody," she adds, nervously brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Her cheeks feel hot with shame and embarrassment.

"Elena, relax. You are safe here. I'm not here to judge you, I'm here to help you understand what happened and why. I really hope that we can have a good relationship because you need to be able to trust me. Whatever you say here is confidential. The only thing I can speak to the court about is if I believe you were or were not competent when you took that gun into the courthouse."

"Thank you, Dr. Mikaelson," she says, nodding her head firmly knowing that's what she wants too. She wants to get better and go home whether that be alone again or with Damon. Honestly, she doesn't know if that's even possible anymore. After they finish their session, he walks her to the door. She thanks him again and then returns to her room. Since it's so stark, she decides to take a few things out of her suitcase to make it a little more homey.

She has a couple of books and a scrapbook that has some pictures of her family and some with Damon too. Although she misses him, she knows now that she has to deal with healing herself and fixing her own mistakes before she can think about him again. She doesn't want to see him or anyone else right now for that matter. Walking over to the window, she raises the blind and stares at the desert in the backyard of the place.

It's beautiful here and copacetic to healing she thinks, watching as a bird lands on a branch not far from her. It's almost as if the crow is looking at her. She watches it till it flies away. Collapsing onto the bed, she gets comfortable, turns on some soft music with her I pad and then she reaches for her journal, something she hasn't done in a very long time. Picking up the pen, she starts to write.

* * *

Wiping down the bar top with his rag, Damon tries to stay busy. Looking up he notices Enzo and Ric playing pool. it doesn't get past him how they go from looking over him to sharing a look themselves. Apparently having had enough, he watches them put their pool cues away and walk over to take a seat in front of him. Irritated, he pours them each a tumbler full of bourbon then walks to the other end to help another customer.

After filling a tray for Lexi, he turns around just as Enzo and Ric each plop down on a barstool. It's making him more than a little crazy the way they're acting. It's a Saturday evening and the place is busy. Ric was supposed to go out with Jenna but she has a fever and told him to enjoy the evening with his friends. After he took her some of Damon's homemade chicken noodle soup, he came back with Enzo in tow.

Putting the rag down, he presses his palms flat on the smooth veneer and says, "Just stop, okay? I'm alright."

"Have you tried to call the place, you know, talk to her?" Enzo asks, tipping the glass to his lips.

"Of course I've tried. I've been told that I have to wait and that if she wants to talk to me, she can make that decision on her own. I'm supposed to be patient. And you guys know what a patient sort of guy I am," Damon laughs, taking a swallow of water since he's on duty.

"Ha, ha," Enzo chortles, elbowing Ric playfully.

Chuckling himself, Ric jokes, "Luckily, you're the patient one here."

"You guys are a riot," he remarks, rolling his eyes. Grinning, he takes his wet rag and snaps at them which causes him to laugh himself. By the time they close up the place, Damon helps Ric wipe down the bar again so it's not sticky when the morning crowd comes in. Promising that he'll sweep and dust when he gets up, he tells his friend goodnight.

When he finally retreats to the solace of his apartment, he picks up her picture. The one of them on their honeymoon white water rafting at the Grand Canyon. Her smile is so wide that she's literally beaming. Inside and out, she's the most beautiful woman that he's ever known. He knows with absolute certainty that no one will ever take her place.

Everything good left in him is because of her. After slipping out of his pants and shirt, he crawls under the covers but keeps the photo facing him on the night stand. With all that he has, all that he is, he hopes to see that smile grace her gorgeous face again and he hopes that he'll be the one to put it there.

* * *

Standing up, Elena walks over to the window contemplating Elijah's question, "Why do you think Damon was trying to push you away?"

Her eyes focus in on of the blooming cactus. It's a vivid magenta color, she does love the ambience of this facility, the fresh air, the freedom from every day stressors. Taking a breath, she walks over and sits back down. Picking up the water bottle, she takes a drink, wipes off her mouth with the back of her arm and then raises her eyes to meet his.

"Because Damon is a complex man. I think he was trying to save me from himself?" she answers then shakes her head, "I was alone, dying, for over two years. There were fleeting moments when I wasn't sure if I wanted to wait for him... and then he just decided that I'd be better off without him."

"Did you discuss this with him?" Elijah asks. He can see the turmoil that's brewing in those big eyes of hers.

"No.. no because he never came home...," she says, then adds softly, so softly that Elijah struggles to hear her.

"After the third Galen Vaughn murder scene, he ran away and he never stopped running," she admits, her voice trailing and her eyes staring into nothingness. It's almost as if a light bulb went off in her head.

* * *

Sitting cross legged on her bed, her journal in her lap, Elena brushes a strand of hair behind her ear. Listening to her father, she finally interrupts, "No, daddy, please. It will be better if you give it another week or so.. I'm... There's a lot on my mind that I need to sort out before I can see anyone."

 _"Elena, sweetheart. Your mother and I love you so much. Of course we'll respect your wishes but we miss you."_

"I miss you too, daddy," she reassures him. She knows that he isn't convinced but she needs to take care of herself right now. She hates doing this to them, especially after Jeremy but she can't even begin to start explaining why she took a loaded weapon into the courthouse and started shooting. Quite honestly, she still doesn't know how she was capable of doing such a heinous thing.

Feeling tears begin to prick at her eyes, she reaches for a Kleenex to dab them. Not wanting her dad to know that she's breaking down, she blows her nose and then adds, "I'm sorry, daddy. I love you. Please tell mom I love her too. I promise that I'll call when you can come."

 _"Alright, sweetheart. I'm very proud of you," he says then ends the call._

Clicking off her phone, Elena sets it down, picks up her pen and starts to write. Soon she's distracted by the sounds of crows. Setting the pen down again, she gets up and walks over to the window. Deciding to take a walk, she leaves her room and goes to the back of the building where they have a picnic table and a little path, and a fountain. Following the dirt trail, she finds a big rock. Sitting down, she bends over and fists a handful of dirt to toss around. It's beautiful out here. When the sun is suddenly shrouded by a cloud, it cools just slightly. Looking up, she sees a cloud in the shape of a running man, Damon.

 _He never stopped running._

* * *

Sitting in Elijah's office again, Elena replies to one of his many questions, "I don't know why I couldn't let him go. I guess I was afraid of being alone."

Tired and frustrated, these sessions take so much out of her, literally consuming the air around her. Feeling her chest tighten up, she sighs and runs her fingers through her hair.

"Or was I being stubborn? I don't know... I have always been this way. I suppose," she adds softly, her voice trailing off.

"Try to find the answer from within, Elena," Dr. Mikaelson suggests. "We've done a lot of work here, I don't think you're a threat to yourself or anyone else anymore but I do believe that you need to remember who Elena Salvatore is. What motivates you? Is there something you would change if you were able to? Until you figure those things out, you are not ready to come back. You need to do this for yourself, Elena."

With her sweaty palms clutched tightly on her lap, she nods and agrees with him. She really wants to be able to make sense of everything and put her life back in order.

* * *

Sitting on his living room couch with his feet resting on the end table, Damon takes a swallow from his beer bottle. His mind is uneasy today. He always thought that forgetting was what he needed to do. For so long every time he would close his eyes he'd hear Galen Vaughn's haunting words and the pictures of the crime scenes, the women in the bathtub, that sweet little girl, Faye, bleeding out in front of his very eyes, the children with their brains blow out and blood, so much blood.

He'd see the nightmarish images every time he would close his eyes. It didn't matter if it was closing them for a few seconds or falling asleep for a few hours. Everywhere he looked, Galen was there taunting him. He remembers his trial, the look on the jurors faces when he was pronounced guilty, they all blend together into a mirage of pain and blood and prison bars.

Unprepared to face his past yet again, he selfishly wishes for Elena to be here to hold his hand, to guide him through the worst of it. Her calming presence, her warm hand on his forehead, her soft yet fierce words of support are all swimming in his head, fond memories of the past that now seem so very far away.

Taking another swallow from his bottle, he stares at her picture on top of the TV. He doesn't even think she knows that it exists. It was from the night they met. It was in Albuquerque. As a rookie cop, he was working security for a concert. Someone stole her purse and it was him who responded to her terrified screams. When she pointed to the guy as he was trying to make a getaway, Damon broke out in a run and by sheer dumb luck he was able to catch the low life when the crowd shifted, blocking his escape.

Damon was immediately taken in by her beauty and kindness but when he would look into those big brown eyes of hers, he had the perception that he was falling through the looking glass. He held on to the bastard until a squad car took him down to the police station.

With her promise that she'd come down the next morning, he started to say goodbye because he was still on the clock. She asked him to take a picture of her and her blonde friend, who turned out to be Caroline. He snapped it for them and handed her the phone back. Without her knowledge, he snapped a couple of pictures.

He's kept this one in his underwear drawer for years. She was young and wild. Hell, she still is, he thinks to himself as he stares at the photo. Her hair is in a high pony tail bobbing around as she danced with her friend. The white camisole she wore provided the perfect compliment to her flawless olive skin.

But those eyes... somehow he knew that she was it for him. He's wasted so much time without her he realizes, tipping the bottle to empty it. Hearing the phone ring, he startles out of his reverie. It's Ric telling him to come downstairs. Although he wants nothing more than to wallow and feel sorry for himself for a few more minutes, he gets up.

The only goal he has right now is to survive till she comes back. He wants to tell her that the Ruby fiasco was all a lie. He didn't _sleep_ with her, he could never cheat on her nor would he ever want to. So although they were in the same room, he didn't do anymore than sleep on the couch.

Every time he calls the place, having gotten the name of the facility from Mason, he always gets the same answer, _"I'm sorry Mr. Salvatore, your wife is requesting no calls or visitors for now."_

He knows she needs time, she literally had a psychotic break if what he's been told is true so he tries to be patient and give her the space she obviously wants. Yet every week he tries again, hoping that this time will be different. Most mornings before the bar opens, he jogs to the park. It's a habit he picked up to kill some time and nervous energy. He jogs around the running track and then usually buys himself a cup of coffee and the newspaper and retreats to a secluded picnic table to escape Ric's concerned and questioning looks.

More often than not, Ric catches him staring at the phone, hoping it will ring, hoping it will be her, hoping for an absolution that may never come. It's been nearly five weeks since he's seen Elena. He's about losing his mind with worry. If only he knew that she was okay, both physically and emotionally. Is she lost to him forever? The very thought not only haunts him but it puts the fear of God into him too. After a particularly long restless night, he slips into his running clothes then trots down the staircase.

Walking up to his friend, he sits down on one of the stools to have a quick cup of coffee. "Did you need something?" he asks when Ric slides the cup over to him.

"I was hoping you could take over a little later. I am taking Jenna out for lunch."

"Yeah sure. As soon as I get back from my run, I'll change and do just that. Then you can leave a little early.. maybe get her some flowers..?" Damon suggests, giving his friend a playful wink.

"Maybe I will," Ric adds. Picking up the carafe, he asks if he wants a refill. Shaking his head no, he gets up to use the restroom. As soon as he comes out, he waves to Ric then runs out of the bar and down the block. He continues on his usual route.

When he turns the corner towards that leads to the park and the coffee shop he favors, he nearly runs a suit clad man over. After helping the guy up, Damon recognizes the guy as his lawyer.

"Mr. Slater, how are you?" Damon asks, dropping his clammy hands into his pockets.

"Mr. Salvatore, I'm glad I was able to run into you. I had an appointment with another client which is why I am in your neighborhood in the first place. This is quite a stroke of luck running into you."

"Why is that?" Damon asks, an uneasy feeling beginning to churn inside of his belly.

"Because I was actually on my way over to Ric's place to speak with you."

Confused, Damon's eyes dart around a bit before looking at the man again. "What is there to discuss? I mean.. my wife hasn't come back to town yet back..."

"That's quite right, Mr. Salvatore. I am however bringing the best news. Your wife contacted me last week and now she's returned the papers with her signature on them. There's nothing in the way anymore to impede your divorce."

* * *

 _HUGE thanks to all of you for_ _your reviews, follows, favorites, encouraging words and endless support and friendship. You're all the BEST._

 _And Eva, no words exist to tell you how much you mean to me. I love you dearly. She is so generous with her time and puts as much into these stories as I do._

 _Chapter title: 'Symmetry' by Savatage._

 _My dear friend Florencia7 doesn't have anything in progress right now but no one writes DE like she does. They are always magic in her hands. Salvatoreboys4ever, Mariah April May, Ezala, VitsAsh, Deepwater1978 and MovingOnIsNeverEasy are all amazing friends and talented writers._ _Amazing Aisha is looking for a beta reader to help her with her stories._

 _Be safe and have a fabulous day. Thank you all again and we'll see you next time._


	14. In My Darkest Hour

Having finished with his patient appointments for the day, Elijah is busy typing up reports on his computer. Pausing for a moment to take a drink of water, he leans back in his chair to relax for a little bit. His office is painted in white with pictures of nature on the walls as well as his diploma and numerous awards and commendations he's received throughout his career. His book shelf is stuffed so full with various journals and other psychiatric books that he knows that not another one will fit into it. He'll have to find room for a second one in due time.

Lifting the bottle to his mouth, he takes a long pull, licking his lips when through. After screwing the lid back on, he stands up to move around a bit. He takes a few deep breaths while he stretches his arms. Just as he's about to sit back down and return to the task at hand, he is interrupted when the receptionist buzzes to tell him that he has a caller. Once she tells him who it is, he tells her to forward the call. As soon as it rings, he picks up the phone.

"Mr. Salvatore, how can I help you? My receptionist tells me that you are unhappy with us for keeping your wife from you. I can assure you that it's not our intention, we only try to help her in the best way possible. If she declines to speak with you, I, nor even you can force her," he says gently but firmly.

Caught off guard by the polite tone of the doctor's voice as well as the trace of sympathy that he can read into his words, he rakes his fingers through his hair. _"_

 _Dr. Mikaelson...,"_ he starts, pausing to take a deep breath to try to gather his composure, _"my apologies, I haven't seen or talked to my wife since she's been conscious. I'm going mad with worry..., I need to talk to her... It's vitally important."_

"I understand your frustration, Mr. Salvatore. You are always welcome to call me for updates on your wife's condition, that is unless she forbids me to share any information which she has not. But you must understand that we cannot force her into a confrontation that might be more detrimental than beneficial. She needs to come to terms with what happened, find out why it happened and what it means for other aspects of her life and her future moving forward."

Although it feels like he's talking to a brick wall, he realizes the man only has Elena's best interests at heart but he also knows he can't give up, not again. Throwing in the towel in the beginning is what spawned this entire nightmare. He has so much to atone for.

 _"Dr. Mikaelson, I should be the one standing by her side. I want to be there for her. I want to help her overcome any and all doubts and worries that she may have and I am powerless to do so when she refuses to see me. I know all of this is a mess of my own making... I know that I may have forever lost her trust but I can't not try. How can I prove myself when I'm not even being given the chance to explain? Now she has presented me with divorce papers and yeah, I can see the irony of it all but it's so, so wrong. I don't want this."_

Hearing the desperation in the young man's voice, Elijah weighs his words carefully. He pauses for several seconds before beginning, "Can I give you some advice, Damon?"

 _"Anything, I'll take anything,"_ Damon adds in resignation, his voice sounding lackluster at best.

"Try to be patient for a little bit longer. I know it's agonizing but Elena needs this time. When she's ready, she will reach out to you and when she does, don't hold yourself back. Her ego is fragile, she was burnt and she's questioning if everything she believed was no more than a lie. It's up to you if you're able to be frank with her and begin to rebuild something even stronger. Hopefully the wounds that you both carry will heal. She told me what happened to you. I know that it was out of your hands but going forward, what happens next is completely on you, on both of you really. I told her the same, there are things that she has yet to share with you too. Can we agree to give her some time to process it all? Perhaps you can use this time apart to prepare yourself to fight, to come out of your shell. If you can do this, then perhaps you can help each other."

Feeling his heart pounding wildly in his chest, Damon takes a few shuddering breaths, hoping to get his bearings. When he can speak, he croaks, _"Yes, thank you, Dr. Mikaelson."_

"No, I thank you, Mr. Salvatore," he says, a hint of a smile forming on his lips. He can only hope he got through to the young man. "And before I hang up, you are welcome to call anytime. Your wife is safe here, you have my word." With that, Elijah ends the call.

* * *

After greeting her parents with hugs and kisses, she entwines her hands with theirs to lead them to the patio area in the back of the facility. The view is outstanding. It's a warm and beautiful day, the sun is high in the sky and clouds are wispy. It's blue as far as the eyes can see. The picnic table they choose is under the shade of a big Oak tree. Surprising even herself, Elena feels happier, lighter even than she has in a long time. She's truly excited to see her mom and dad. Their rapport comes easily and it's refreshing quite honestly she thinks.

They're not asking her questions that she can't answer, they are simply here to give her support. Thirsty, Elena excuses herself to get them each a bottle of water. While she walks away, she feels a pang of guilt begin to jab at her. Damon is still her husband, should she have called him first.. perhaps? But in giving him what he wanted, she rationalizes that he may need time to process the fact that she signed his papers.

Although her heart hurts at the thought of losing him forever, she knows that they can't keep on the way they were, it would destroy them both. She's just not ready to face him yet. Brushing those thoughts aside for now, she grabs three water bottles and then goes back outside to join her mom and dad. After handing one to each, she sits back down beside her dad, her mom is on the other side of the table.

Smiling at her daughter, Miranda places her hand on top of Elena's to give it a loving pat. "I'm glad to see with my own eyes how you are spending your days. It is truly beautiful here. I can see how it would be conducive to healing."

"I'm okay, mom. Given the circumstances, I feel like I don't deserve it but they are very, very good to me. Still, I want to come home soon. I had a nice phone visit with Caroline yesterday," she starts to laugh while twisting the lid off of her water bottle. She takes a drink then adds, "I think she's getting tired of leading not only her own groups but also mine."

Eyeing her carefully, Grayson links their fingers together. "Did you talk to anyone else? Damon?" Knowing his daughter as well as he does, he doesn't miss the shadow that he sees to cross over her face, of course it's Damon.

"I... not yet, dad.. We may be getting a divorce after all," she says, picking up her bottle to take another swallow.

Sharing a look with her husband, Miranda once more takes her daughter's hand. "Sweetie, is it something that you want to talk about?"

Sighing, she smiles uneasily. "No, not really. He just.. I might have tried to do the right thing but maybe it really wasn't the right thing to do? I mean, look at the mess I made. He was trying to tell me but I think I needed to see it for myself..."

Frowning, Grayson tries not to make assumptions but he wonders if Damon may have convinced her that he was done with their marriage. "Elena, you know we'll support you in any way we can but please be sure you're doing what you want to do. It's been a rough several months so maybe you need a little distance to decide what is right and what is wrong. We'll all be there to catch you, that is if you need us to."

"I know, daddy," she replies, forcing a tight smile. This is the one thing that she is absolutely certain about, that her parents will never abandon her.

* * *

Since the bar is fairly empty right now, Damon walks outside to have a cigarette. Lighting it up, he takes a long drag, blowing out rings of smoke. Starring at the stupid thing, he knows Elena hates them. She just never understood the kind of stress he lived under both while chasing Galen Vaughn and his whole prison experience. If only he had talked to her, maybe they wouldn't find themselves at cross purposes now.

It scares the mother loving hell out of him to think that she could possibly still end up in prison. It would be all his fault, "Why am I such an asshole?" he says aloud, kicking a decent sized rock that's laying near his foot. He hears it clang against the steel dumpster. How would he ever live with himself if she is imprisoned? She'd never come out of there alive, he knows that. She's beautiful and kind and.. he can't even voice the words..

His mind drifts back to his conversation with Elena's psychiatrist. He doesn't quite understand why but he does feel just a little bit hopeful for the first time in a very long time. Dr. Mikaelson seemed to believe that maybe there's still a chance or why would he have cared enough to even offer him a piece of advice? The more daunting task is coming clean with Elena, not only about Ruby but about all of it, all of the things that haunt him, sometimes day and night.

He'll never ever forget seeing the life drain out of little Faye's eyes right in front of his face, nor Charlotte's hauntingly empty ones, Vaughn's black ones, Rocco, Luka, they all blend together to rob him of everything that he used to hold dear, Elena most notably. God, he loves her so much. How does he even begin to drop all of that on her shoulders?

Doesn't she have enough to deal with right now? Yet he knows that he doesn't stand even a snowball's chance in hell of reuniting with her if he doesn't come clean. Shaking his head, he takes another puff, startling when he hears the door creak. Looking up, he sees Ric. His friend, his employer, someone that maybe he can confide in.

"Are you okay, Damon? You seem to have that far off look in your eyes today. More bad news?" He pauses, waiting for Damon to answer but he just drops his head and then takes another long drag before dropping it to the ground below. After stomping on the butt, Damon leans back against the building, not saying a word.

"Okay, Damon, tell me what's going on in that head of yours? Did you get to speak to her? And if you did, were you able to ask her about the divorce papers?"

With a heavy sigh, Damon shakes his head back and forth. "I did not. But I was able to speak to her doctor. I mean, he didn't give me any quarter... but the way he talked about _us_ I have to believe there's a still a chance for me to fix things. It will be the hardest thing that I've ever had to do but I can't wave the white flag this time. I can't or she will be lost to me forever."

Realizing that Elena must have been thinking the same thing for years now, he hates himself even more. While he was preoccupied with coming up one way and then another to push her away, she held on, fighting circumstances and fighting him.

"I know that she was the brunt of ugly looks and innuendos for being my wife. Never once did she ever mention that. I wouldn't know myself if not for my sister's letters. Despite it all, she would make the drive every few weeks to try to lift my spirits. Instead of honoring my vows, I would barely speak to her and God, Ric, I never even thanked her for her unending support. She did so much for me, she sacrificed time and time again."

All the effort she made, all of her sacrifices should have ended when he got out but asshole that he is, he just took off leaving her all alone to fend for herself yet again. He literally chokes at the thought of flaunting Ruby in front of her. It's no wonder that she signed the papers.

Ric watches his turmoil and it's obvious to him that Damon carries many demons. Gently bringing him back, he says with utmost sincerity, "Damon, I'm your friend. You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to but you can. If you need to talk, you can tell me anything. It'll stay between the two of us. You know that right?"

Damon looks at him contemplating if he wants to get into this conversation. Reaching into his pocket, he lights up another cigarette. After taking a long draw, he looks at Ric again.

"The truth is, the doctor told me that if I still want there to be an us, I'm going to have to tell Elena everything. There are things, Ric.. that I have never talked about to anyone and I really don't want to, especially not with her because I know they would hurt her."

Dropping his eyes to the glowing end of it, he flicks off the ashes and then continues, "As much as I don't want to, the doctor is right, those things are what's keeping me from truly living. I can't share a piece of me with her, I have to be able to share all of me."

He pauses but Ric stays silent not giving him an opening to withdraw again. Perhaps it would be cathartic if he talked to Ric first and once he releases the demons, maybe then it will be easier to tell her. Maybe that's what he should do?

* * *

Tired after a hike in the sweltering heat, Elena, fresh out of the shower, is laying in bed watching an old movie on the TV. She's seen "My Favorite Wife" many times but she needs a little laughter even if it's only for a short respite from everything that's happening with her life. Hearing her phone, she turns down the volume and then picks it up, smiling genuinely when she sees who it is.

 _"Elena!" Bonnie squeals._

Taking her phone away from her ear for a second to save her eardrums, she laughingly responds. "Bonnie. How are you and Noelle and Enzo and my future niece or nephew?"

 _"It's going to be a nephew." Lowering her voice, she adds, "but don't tell Enzo! I'm telling him that it's going to be another girl so he should be prepared to be outnumbered even further."_

"Of course, your secret is safe with me." Elena feels a wave of homesickness. The mere sound of Bonnie's happy voice is churning up so many emotions. She didn't even realize that it was possible to miss them all so much and she knows a thing or two about missing someone...

 _"How are you?" she asks, her voice turning serious. "Are you going to come home soon? I miss you something awful, girl... so do Noelle and Enzo."_

"I have a little more work to do here, on myself, on what's going to happen when I get out. I don't think it will be much longer unless... I did shoot a gun in a public place. It's possible that I could go to jail, Bonnie."

 _"No, Elena. You were sick, you didn't know what you were doing."_

"Thank you for supporting me, Bonnie," she says, her mind drifting to her husband. Elena knows that Bonnie would tell her whatever she wants to know about him, how he's doing, what he's doing, if he's alright. Although she wants to ask, she stops herself. It's not the time, she thinks and listens intently while Bonnie continues to chat.

* * *

As soon as everyone is out of the door, Ric locks them and turns off the outside lights. It's two o'clock in the morning but Damon is still wide awake. He can't think of anything else but what he has to do. Although he was able to work productively tonight, it's only because the place was busy. He could push everything to the back of his mind for a while.

Sensing that maybe his friend might be willing to take him up on his offer, he motions Damon over to take a seat then reaches under the bar to bring out his best bottle of bourbon. He sets two tumblers on the bar top, fills the glasses and puts the lid back on. However, he doesn't put it away, inherently knowing that maybe Damon will need more than one drink. Tightening his lips, Damon inhales a deep shuddering breath then throws back the drink, nearly gulping the entirety of it in one swallow. Feeling the burn all the way down to his toes, Damon threads his fingers through his hair and then finally meets Ric's gaze head on.

"I was sure that there had to be some mistake. A kid like him, he couldn't belong there, in prison, I mean. He didn't look older than 17 or so... I thought that he should be at home, thinking about girls and sports and giving his parents grief. There was no way that he could be an adult, much less a criminal...," Damon starts, his mind taking him back in time.

 _"Hey, I'm Luka," he said, introducing himself the first time. When he extends his hand, Damon shakes it, thinking there's no way. His boyish looks and friendly behavior, immediately stirring something protective in Damon. As time passed, he learned the young man's tragic life story. They would lay awake in their bunks at night, just talking, anything to pass the time. He told Damon about him and his sister's struggle after their parents were killed in a car crash. They were taken in by an uncle they hardly knew, one who turned out to be an abusive bastard who only cared about how much money the state was paying him to be their foster parent._

 _Although he was grateful that another relative took in his sister, Madelyn, he was left to fend for himself against the man. Luka went on to tell him that he flew the coop as soon as he could, making a living by pick pocketing, pan handling, stealing, later selling drugs. A wallflower as a student, he blended in and kept to himself. He earned enough money to feed himself and find a run down dirty room to stay in. With no role model, he had no sense of right and wrong. When one of the people he sold too, overdosed, he was sentenced to prison along with others. Because he was tried as an adult, turning 18 just before he ended up sharing a cell with Damon._

"He was a good kid, Ric. I wanted to be able to help him when I got out," Damon says softly, his eyes somewhere far away. He takes another swallow and then continues his journey to the past. "After that, we grew close, cellmates, friends, I felt a big brother like affection towards him. I wanted to protect him but I couldn't, I failed."

 _It was a daily job to keep Rocco away from him. Every night, Damon would limp back to the cell, his body beaten and sore. Rocco was in the shack for murder one. He killed his wife and another woman, beating them to death because he caught her trying to escape. The other woman was someone from a battered women's support group that just came by to help get her out of that environment. If that wasn't bad enough, he also killed his disabled kid. Although Damon knew Luka was scared of him, he was afraid to show it for fear the others would brand him a coward._

 _"When you get out, you must call my friend Vicky. She sometimes gives me a place to stay when I need to get lost. If you tell her we're friends, she will surely help you out. I will be right behind you in four months, Damon?" Luka asks, happily chattering away. Damon wants the kid to maintain his happy demeanor but he's worried about him, wondering if he'll be able to keep him alive until then. What happens when he's released, who's going to make sure he survives then? he thinks to himself._

 _"You're still stuck with me for awhile," Damon mentions, giving the young man a playful shove with a smile on his lips but it doesn't reach his eyes._

"Not long after that, I was attacked in the showers, I could handle myself against one, maybe two but four of them ganged up on me. I ended up in the infirmary overnight. Elena doesn't know, I told them not to tell her. She didn't need yet another thing to worry about because of me. But with me detained for the might, Luka was an easy mark."

Picking up the bottle, he refills both of their glasses. "When I got back to the cell the next day, I found only a shell of the lively and naïve young boy that I grew to care about so much. He had a haunted look in his eyes, his body was broken, his hands were trembling. He wouldn't speak.. He never spoke another word, not to me, not to anyone. I knew exactly what they did to him. Too many times, I saw the lewd looks they were giving him, for too long, I saw the fear in Luka's eyes whenever one of them would stare at him obscenely. I could protect myself, he couldn't. When they were beating the shit out of me, they bragged about exactly what they were going to do to him. As soon as the bastards incapacitated me, that's exactly what they did."

 _It's a Saturday afternoon. Elena is there, trying to reach him as she always does. It is dark, stormy day. Lightning, thunder, pouring rain, dark clouds. He feels like a child and doesn't know why. After he says goodbye to her, he heads back to his cell. It's then that he finds Luka, hanging from the window, a bed sheet around his neck. His body is already cool to the touch._

"His eyes were still open, his face was purple. I wanted to kill.. I'll never get that image out of my mind," he adds, finishing off what's left in his glass. Looking up at Ric, he sees the terror in his eyes.

"See, look at you, you don't even have the visual to hit you in the eyes day in and day out. How can I tell Elena that?"

"I'm so, so sorry, Damon," Ric says. Reaching up, he squeezes Damon's shoulder, urging him to finish the story.

"Nothing happened," Damon adds bitterly.

"I would have killed Rocco, I should have killed him. They kept me in the hospital for the next couple of weeks, something about me having a breakdown, the shock of seeing Luka hanging. He wrapped one end of the sheets around the window bars, the other around his neck. I knew what they were doing, they were protecting me from myself. They even sent Elena away the week after telling her that I was ill and not able to have visitors. I would have done it, I would have killed him, just like I killed Galen Vaughn."

Stunned, Ric fills their glasses once more. Picking it up, Damon takes another sip, trying to ignore the gnawing thought of yet another sleepless night of seeing Luka's dead eyes staring right through him.

* * *

Restless, Elena lays in bed, shifting from her left side to her right side and finally to her back. No matter which way she turns, sleep eludes her. Since her last session with Dr. Mikaelson, her mind has been, still is heavy with thought. Rolling onto her left side, she raises up on her arm to take a swallow of water. After setting it back down, she burrows her head back into the pillow and closes her eyes. Even though she feels tired, sleep doesn't want to come. Raising up again, she pounds on her pillow and then repositions herself. Looking out through the open window, she startles slightly when suddenly a crack of thunder interrupts the silence of the night. Sucking her lower lip into her mouth, she stares outside while thinking again about what he asked her.

"Who is Elena Salvatore? Is she different now or is she the same woman? Why was she trying so hard to hold onto Damon despite every effort he made to push her away?

Although she's wan to admit it, the truth is, she had a good feeling once she signed those divorce papers. They didn't scare her anymore. Maybe she just needs to accept reality and admit they're over? Is it what she really wants though? Not that it matters anymore, she sighs. The girl in the bar made it perfectly clear, she thinks, feeling her heart split wide open. She doesn't want to see him and quite honestly, she's not sure she ever will but she does miss him, God she misses him..

And just like that, her mind clears. Everything that was shrouded in fog is now perfectly clear. She remembers his nightmares from the time before he was remanded to prison. Is he still plagued with them? She wants to find a way to banish them from his mind forever. She also wants to tell him about Jeremy no matter how painful her own memories are.

But most of all, she wants to cry in his arms and kiss his fears away. A painful gasp leaves her lips at the image of Ruby on the bar stool, her twisted smile mocking her. Damon's indifference and biting words once again begin to cloud her mind.

Just as suddenly, she has a moment of blinding clarity when she sees a streak of lightning illuminate both darkness and her mind. Yawning, she closes her eyes and buries her face in the pillow, her mind now calm as she knows exactly what to say to Dr. Mikaelson.

* * *

 _Huge thanks to my sister, Eva. You're are brilliant, insightful and so generous. I love you very much._

 _Massive thanks to all of you for_ _reviews, follows, favorites, encouraging words, incredible support and friendship. You're all the BEST._

 _Chapter title: 'In My Darkest Hour' by Megadeth._

 _'Tomorrow' will update over the weekend. I posted a fluffy little drabble yesterday. "I Hear a Symphony"._

 _I hope you all have a fabulous day. Thank you all again. We'll see you next time._


	15. Home

As he does many, many times throughout the day, Ric is once again wiping down the bar top. When he finishes, in dire need of caffeine, he pours himself a stout cup of coffee. After everything Damon shared with him last night, it was hard for him to sleep. Although he thinks Damon was a fool to push his wife away, he kind of understands why the guy keeps everything so close to the vest and why he didn't want to burden her with still more heartache.

He only hopes that Elena will give Damon the opportunity to tell her everything that has weighed on him for the last few years. As tired as he is, he's glad that there are only a couple of people here. Maybe he can have Lexi take over a little later so he can get a little shut eye before he goes to Jenna's house later this afternoon. Shaking his head, he looks up when he hears footsteps. He stops what he's doing and watches as an older gentleman approaches the bar. The man pauses to look a round a bit before walking over to him.

"What can I get you sir?" Ric asks. Although he is at a loss to know why, this guy is a stranger to him, the older gentleman commands respect. There's also the fact that he feels a little unnerved by his searching gaze.

"I'm Dr. Gilbert. Would it be possible to speak to Damon Salvatore? He's a very hard one to meet up with," he utters, offering Ric a tentative smile.

"I'm Ric, I own the place," he says, extending his arm towards the man. As soon as they shake hands, he offers him a drink. The man nods, taking a sip of the drink that Ric slides in front of him.

"I'll just go get Damon for you," he says, pointing towards the long hallway. Not envying Damon in the least, Ric hurries off to the kitchen.

Having heard the door open, Damon looks over his shoulder from where he's peeling potatoes.

"Damon? There's a Dr. Gilbert here to see you." Immediately Ric picks up the same unease exuding from his friend.

After settings his apron aside, Damon washes and dries his hands before wordlessly following Ric out of the kitchen. Seeing his father in law sitting there, he takes a deep breath and approaches him.

"Gray?"

Turning, he gives Damon a long searching look, eyeing him from head to foot. "Damon, can we talk?"

"Of course," Damon agrees, knowing that he also owes him an explanation. After taking a few moments to top off his drink, he leads Grayson up the stairs and into his apartment. Looking around, Grayson focuses in on the photograph of his beloved daughter on the nightstand.

"Have a seat," Damon says, gesturing to the couch.

"It's been a very long time, Damon," he mentions, sitting down.

"I know and I'm sorry.. I just didn't feel like socializing." Realizing that he sounded offensive even though that wasn't his intent, he quickly takes the seat on the other end of the couch.

Looking at him apologetically, Damon adds, his tone sincere, "I'm sorry, Grayson. I wasn't sure what to tell you, what to tell anyone quite honestly. I still don't."

Softening his gaze, Grayson takes another sip from his glass.

"I'm so incredibly sorry about Jeremy...," Damon offers, still in shock himself since learning about his brother in law's death.

Grayson nods but doesn't say anything else. That's a conversation for another day. He knows that his sole purpose in coming here to see Damon is to ask one very, very important question. A few seconds pass before he lays it all on the line. "Did you cheat on my daughter?"

Almost feeling the slap, Damon's mouth parts in shock. He wouldn't dare lie this man even if he wanted to, he has too much respect for him. After he takes a swallow of his own drink, he sets it down and then looks Grayson squarely in the eyes.

"No... no, Gray. I would never... I couldn't do that to her. I did however lead her to believe that I spent the night with another woman. She wouldn't quit fighting... it was the only thing I could think of to make her stop loving me. She told me to do my worst so I made her believe that I did just that. I have so many skeletons in my closet, I'm a mess," he admits, his voice full of anguish.

"I just didn't want to burden her anymore than I already have."

Grayson sighs but relaxes his posture slightly. "Damon... she's been in it since the very beginning. I don't begin to know where you got the idea that you could spare her now after that hell."

He pauses to take a sip. "You're three years too late... even then it wouldn't have worked. I didn't raise my daughter to raise the white flag when things got hard."

Damon's eyes drift to the picture on the nightstand. His love. His salvation. His light.

"I know that now. I want to make things right between us if she'll let me. I love her, I always have and I always will, no matter what she chooses," he adds, his eyes meeting those of his father in law.

Clearly seeing the honesty in his words, Grayson nods his acceptance. "I have missed you, son. We all did. And we all missed Elena because she wasn't with us, she was always right there with you. Despite what you may think, none of us blames you for what happened three years ago, you should know that. If anything I admire that you did what you believed was the only option you had when you were facing down that killer. It was a horrible choice to have to make but you stood your ground, no matter what the consequences."

"You don't know how many times that I wished I had died on that rooftop," Damon whispers, turning away when he feels his eyes beginning to moisten.

Sliding a little closer, he puts his hand on Damon's shoulder and gives it a squeeze. "You don't have to do this alone. You've been robbed of enough time already, don't you think? I'm not happy with the way you treated my daughter but we all make horrible mistakes in life sometimes."

He pauses for a few seconds to let his words sink in. "Come back, Damon, and make things right with Elena."

In shock at this man's capacity for forgiveness, Damon experiences the most positive shock when he sees nothing but understanding.. maybe even love written all over his father in law's face. With a stray tear trailing down his cheek, his voice is barely audible when he replies, "I don't deserve her."

"You don't deserve what's been done to you either, Damon. We didn't deserve to be dismissed and cut out of your life. What we do is fight to do our best with what we've been given."

Sitting in comfortable silence, the two men share another drink. Grayson stands up to leave so Damon walks him to the door. Turning around, the older man embraces him in a hug, gently patting his back. When he pulls away, he gives Damon a smile and then walks out of his apartment. He watches till the man disappears at the bottom of the stairs. His emotions get the best of him and the only thing he can do is let the tears fall. As soon as he regains his composure, he steps into the bathroom to wash his face and then goes down the same stairway to go back to work.

* * *

Falling into a heavy sleep when her mind cleared, she wakes up refreshed and dare she say, happy? Stretching her limbs, she lets out pleasurable groan and then gets up to get ready because she has an appointment with Dr. Mikaelson in a little bit. While in the shower, she shaves her legs, underarms and lastly she washes her hair. Once she turns off the water, she cinches one towel around her body and another around her head.

After she dries off, she combs through her hair, pulling it into a high ponytail with a yellow ribbon. She slips on a bright yellow sundress to match her hair accessory and a pair of Birkenstocks. She leaves her room and then heads to the dining area to get herself a cup of coffee, a banana and a muffin.

As soon as she finishes, she disposes of her garbage and then walks to the doctor's office. As soon as his receptionist tells her she can go in, she thanks the woman and then walks inside, taking the seat that Elijah points to. He doesn't look up because he's furiously typing at his keyboard. When he finishes, he looks up, his eyes widening when he sees her.

"Elena, how are you today?" He can see that something has changed. Her eyes are clear and bright, her choice of clothing is bright and matches the dare he say, twinkle in her eyes. Her posture is self assured, her whole demeanor speaks volumes.

"Good morning, Dr. Mikaelson, I feel good, really good."

"That is patently obvious," he adds, smiling himself. "Now how can I help you today?"

Elena takes a moment and after taking a long slow yet deep breath, she utters the words he's been hoping to hear for some time now. "I think I'm going to talk to my husband and I'd like to go home."

* * *

Pacing back and forth, Damon feels more nervous than he was the first time he went out on a date with her. He feels a little uneasy about ambushing her but he has to see her, he literally needs to see her more than he needs food or water. Ever since Enzo called him a couple of days ago to tell him that Elena is being released and that she asked him to bring her home, Damon has been on pins and needles. Apparently Dr. Mikaelson went to bat for her with the Judge assigned to her case. She'll be able to go home to await her day in court rather than languish in jail.

He can't deny that he felt a pang of both hurt and then remorse because he only has himself to blame for the chasm that exists between them. He did the exact same thing to her, never even bothering to tell her that he had been released. Instead he hid in a downtown bar, hoping that she wouldn't find him.

"The best laid plans," he sighs, crumpling up a napkin and tossing it towards the waste basket.

"You okay?" Ric asks, refilling Damon's coffee cup.

"Yes and no. I can't wait to see her but I really don't expect that she'll be happy to see me," he mentions, taking a deep swallow of coffee. As he sets the cup back down, he hears a car horn. He says goodbye to Ric and then hurries outside. Jumping into Enzo's car, he shares a look with his brother in law and then buckles his safety belt. Nervous energy pervades his body. His belly is churning, the overdose of caffeine giving him the mother of all bellyaches. Tapping his foot against the carpeted floor, he fists his clammy hands repeatedly.

"Damon, come on man. It's not like she's going to ask you to walk home. I am bracing for the backlash myself but she's not a vindictive person. You know that just as well as I do." Rather than say anything, Damon just looks at Enzo and then turns his attention back to the scenery outside. Before long, Enzo is exiting onto the road that leads to her facility.

When he makes a big wide curve, the building comes into view and at the same time, Damon's heartbeat starts to skyrocket, beating so painfully against his chest that he gasps for a breath. Pressing his palm against his chest, he closes his eyes and tries to calm himself down. Before he knows it, he feels the car pull to a stop. Stepping out of the car, Damon breathes in the fresh air, leaning against it as Enzo goes into the building to find her.

As soon as he hears footsteps crunching against the gravel, he turns around, his eyes meeting hers. She doesn't hesitate even a millisecond to give Enzo a shove. Stopping him in his tracks, she rounds on him.

"You're such a traitor, Enzo! You pick him up," she snaps, gesturing towards Damon, "You bring him home and help him escape without bothering to tell me anything but you can't keep your big mouth shut when I ask for the same courtesy?"

Damon almost has to laugh when he sees that Enzo looks genuinely scared. If not for his own precarious presence, he'd be amused by the fire that still burns effervescently inside of her. But it's obvious to him that she's more than a little disgruntled by his presence. Just like that he's consumed, overcome by a wave of guilt that makes his throat tighten.

Even though she is unabashedly pissed off, Damon knows her well enough to sense that her bluster is a façade. She's always been able to cover her vulnerabilities well. As strong as his wife is, he knows for a fact that her heart is easily bruised.

Stepping out from his side of the car, he takes a breath and then speaks, "Elena, I'm sorry.. Please don't be mad at Enzo. I needed to see you, to speak to you and Enzo was coming alone."

"It works for you then," she retorts, her voice brimming with sarcasm.

"You two assholes can keep each other company. I just need a ride." Without saying another word, Elena slides into the back seat, pulls out her I pad, sticks her earbuds in and ignores both of them. The icy silence is almost deafening as Enzo drives them back to Santa Fe. With the tension thick in the car, Damon feels nauseous the way his belly starts roiling all over again.

Minutes pass like hours but when they finally pull up in front of their home, Elena gets out, waits for Enzo to pull her suitcase out of the trunk and then walks away, saying, "Thanks for the ride" over her shoulder. Damon watches till she steps inside and slams the door shut, blocking any further view of her. Dumbfounded, Enzo has no words.

"It's okay, Enzo. Thanks for letting me ride along. I'm not leaving, not without trying to talk to her."

With a nod to his brother in law, he goes after her, not only hoping but praying for a an absolution that may never come.

* * *

Taking a deep breath, he turns around just as Enzo is pulling away from the curb. He raises his palm, watching till he turns the corner at the end of the block. Steeling his spine for the task at hand, he pushes open the front door and walks inside. It strikes him as odd that he should feel weird being inside his own home. Other than the running in here to grab a few things the day he got out, it's been nearly three years since he's been here.

Unable to move at first, he looks around. So much has changed and yet so much is the same too. The chandelier that illuminates the foyer is still hanging like a sentinel above him. Pictures of them, of their families line the walls that lead up the staircase. Walking up it, he reaches the top, picking up the end cap. He always joked with her that they lived in the old Bailey house of "It's a Wonderful Life" fame. He looks through each room, a cold chill zinging his spine. Looking at his arms, he sees goosebumps.

He steps into their bedroom. Nothing has changed since he was here last. She went to the courthouse the same day she found out about Ruby so it's not like she had time to shred any reminders of him. Stepping out, he checks the other rooms. Finding them all empty, he darts back down the stairs, two at a time. Walking across the foyer, he stops when he reaches the living room. There she is, curled up in an arm chair, hugging her knees to her chest, her back facing him. He knows that she is well aware of his presence. She's always had a sixth sense about her where he's concerned.

Slowly he approaches her, pausing when she raises her big brown eyes to meet his. "You aren't supposed to be here. You don't live here anymore. You made that perfectly clear."

"Do you want me to leave? Elena, I..." Overcome with a ravenous need to finally explain, to earn her back, he swallows thickly.

Raising her fingers to her lips, she shushes him and takes a breath herself, trying to gather her composure. He can tell the moment that she gets a handle on her emotions.

"Listen. Damon.. I know what I did was incredibly stupid, asinine really but the thing is, I had no idea what I was doing. In one of our last sessions, Dr. Mikaelson asked me a few questions. Who is Elena Salvatore? What motivates her? Why was she so adamant about not wanting to let her husband go? And lastly, would I change anything? I wracked my brain trying to come up with the answers to those questions. I signed your divorce papers because I thought that's what I was supposed to do. It felt right to sign them because I realized that if you didn't want me, I couldn't keep you against your will."

Damon tries to interrupt but she shakes her head no and then continues, "And then it struck me. I am who I've always been. I'm not a quitter, I honor my vows with the sanctity with which they were given when we spoke them to each other."

Elena raises her palm and places it on his face. "I. Love. You... Damon Salvatore. I wouldn't change a thing and furthermore, I don't believe that you don't love me. I think you wanted to push me away," she proclaims, her voice firm and unyielding.

Damon, knowing her as well as he does, senses a tremor beneath her confident attitude. He hates that despite her strong demeanor and brave words there are still doubts and insecurities underneath, ones that he put there. He did this to her, he hurt the one person he loves most on this Earth. Placing his hand over hers on his face, he drops his forehead against hers.

Closing his eyes, he says in a raspy, emotional lilt, "Elena, I'll never be able to say I'm sorry enough. I was, still am as far as that goes, the biggest fool on the planet. I love you so damn much and yet it was you, my rock, my anchor, my heart and my home that I hurt the most. I swear on everything that's holy that I never touched that other woman. I only let you believe I had so you would let go."

He places his hand gently over her heart. "You have my word, Elena, I haven't even looked at anyone else... not since the moment I first laid my eyes on you at that concert in Albuquerque."

Elena can't control the sob that escapes her, Damon brushes a piece of hair behind her ear then swallows her sobs with a kiss, one that would melt glass. And then she's in his arms, tears wetting his shirt, clutching onto him as if her life depended on it because after all the pain and heartache of the last few years, her husband has finally found his way home.

* * *

 _We're not done yet, there's still a little more to come._

 _Massive thanks to all of you for_ _reviews, follows, favorites, encouraging words, support, thoughtful reviews and most of all the friendships I've made here. You are all truly the BEST._

 _Huge thanks to Eva. You're my sister and my dearest friend and I love you to the moon and back ;)_

 _Chapter title: 'Home' by Michael_ _Buble'_

 _Eva and I just 'broke ground' on "Welcome to the Jungle". It will be a while before it's ready to post but we're both excited about it. I did post a teaser of it on my facebook page._

 _I hope to post my ICEM Halloween story Tuesday but it will be later in the day since I'll be giving flu shots from 0630-1500._

 _Have a safe and a wonderful weekend. Thank you all again, we'll see you all next week for updates._


	16. Don't Pray for Me

_**Happy Birthday Bonnie. I hope you have a fantastic day.**_

* * *

Damon doesn't begin to know why the fates decided to smile on him, not after every shitty thing he's done, but he finds himself here, several hours later with Elena still safely ensconced in his arms. Every so often, he literally has to pinch himself to make sure this isn't all a beautiful dream that's destined to be gone with the wind.

He brushes his lips across her forehead yet again to remind himself that she is real and tucked against his chest. Although he'd like nothing more than to throw her over his shoulder and make love to her until the morning sun begins to rise in the eastern sky, he is all too aware that trust needs to be rebuilt before they take that step. He did everything in his power to destroy it and now he needs to do the same to earn it back.

He smiles despite himself because he knows that they have time. Looking up, his angel gives him a small smile. He feels incredibly guilty for hurting the one he loves the most and sadly they'll never get that time back but he'll move mountains if that's what it takes. "Um, will you stay or are you going to go back to Ric's place?" she asks, her voice barely audible.

After tenderly placing a kiss on her forehead, he answers her, "I can stay, if you'll have me. Ric gave me the weekend off." Weighing her reaction, he sees a little uncertainty in her beautiful brown eyes.

"Elena?.. If you'll have me, I am _never_ going to leave you again."

She looks at him wordlessly for several seconds before burrowing in further against his chest. The weight of his screw ups makes his throat tighten. If she still believes that he could leave her now or ever again, he has much to make up for. Smiling against her hair, he realizes that he'd be happy to spend the rest of his days showing her just how much he really does love her.

"Are you hungry?" he adds as an afterthought. "We could order a pizza or something to be delivered, Chinese, Thai, Mexican?"

"Not really.. but I suppose we should eat at some point. No pizza thought. It's too easy," she says and Damon knows exactly what she means.

"But I'll do the cooking, I think you get enough of that at work don't you?"

Damon disagrees, "Nope, I want to spoil my wife silly and reacquaint myself with our kitchen. I tell you what.. why don't you take a nice long, hot relaxing bubble bath and I'll call you when dinner is ready?"

A little unsure, Elena doesn't know how she feels about it, more than anything, she needs to be able to see him to make sure she isn't dreaming herself. But on the contrary, she could use a bit of space to process everything too and may he needs some time to do the same. Moments later she nods and moves to stand up but before she can, he threads his hand under her neck, his finger extending up into her hair.

Damon looks at her with those vivid blue eyes, they're unavoidable like phosphorescent flames at once piercing and caressing. With his intention clear, he drops his mouth, capturing hers in long deep kiss that literally makes her heart thrum like the tune of a lyrical wind chime as it runs through her veins. When he lets her go, she steps back but looks over her shoulder when she reaches the foot of the stairs. Damon smiles which she returns and then slowly walks up the staircase and disappears from his sight.

* * *

Taking a moment just to breathe in the atmosphere again, he walks over to the big picture window and looks outside. He sees Mr. Miller mowing the lawn across the street. Looking to his right, he sees Mrs. Merrival and her daughter. Marjorie must be about six, she looks so grown up now. He remembers that the child was maybe eighteen months old or so when they moved into the neighborhood. Shaking his head, he realizes how much things have both changed and stayed the same.

When he reaches the kitchen, he opens the refrigerator to see if there is anything that he can use to cook with. He relaxes when he finds that it's filled with fresh fruits and vegetables as well as juices, sodas and water bottles. Smiling to himself, he's certain that either Bonnie or perhaps Caroline stocked the fridge for her. They really are lucky to have such good people in their lives. Pulling a water bottle out, he takes a big swallow then pulls out a clove of garlic, an onion and some of the fresh asparagus as well as a lemon. Standing upright, he opens the freezer.

Finding a package of raw shrimp, he takes it out and then starts getting things ready to make some shrimp scampi with asparagus. He trims up the green vegetable and the onion and drops it in the skillet with some olive oil. He zests the lemon to get it ready and minces the garlic. When the vegetables are al dente, he puts them aside, adds a little more oil and then throws in the shrimp the lemon and garlic and tosses it around. While it's cooking, he finds some angel hair pasta, set it on the counter and then fills a pot of water to boil.

With everything ready except the noodles, he pulls out a chair and sits down. Looking around the room, he focuses in on the picture of himself and Elena that's adhered to the outside of the refrigerator. How could he have missed it? It's another one from their Grand Canyon honeymoon. This time she's sitting atop one of the mules, a huge straw hat on her head and big sunglasses covering her gorgeous eyes.

Damon is standing beside her, smiling for the photograph but their hands are joined. He wonders if maybe the two of them could get away for a long weekend? He'll have to ask Ric for another one off. Hopefully he will agree to it. Taking another swallow of water, he throws his head back and closes his eyes, letting the sights and sounds of his home reacquaint themselves with his mind and heart.

* * *

Laying comfortably in the hot deep water with the thick layer of bubbles lapping at her chin, Elena has her head resting on the air filled pillow. As always the door is ajar. She is used to being by herself and it became a habit so she could hear anything unfamiliar while she was alone in the house. Occasionally, she hears a noise that Damon must be making. She doesn't quite know how to interpret the mixed feelings that are rumbling inside of her. By all rights she should still be furious with him and she's well aware of the fact that they still have so much to talk about but she's tired of being sad and lonely and heartbroken not to mention angry.

Thinking about him beneath the floor boards brings tingles to her body and she wants to learn how to cherish his presence again. When the pads of her fingers start to prune, she sighs in exhaustion but drags herself out of the bathroom. She slips into a pair of comfortable pajamas and after putting on her lightweight robe, she goes downstairs and into the kitchen.

He's standing with his back to her, a plate in one hand and a serving utensil in the other. She sees one plate already made up. As if sensing her presence, he turns around, setting the plate down. "I thought we could eat on the patio. I have everything set up out there."

"That's sounds nice," she agrees, taking the plate that he offers, she waits for him to pick up his own and then the two of them go outside. Damon sets his down then pulls out a chair for her. After pouring some wine in each of their flutes, he sits down himself. They eat in comfortable silence, not saying much but when they finish, he slides his chair close enough so he can take her hand in his own. When their eyes meet, Damon leans in and captures her lips in a searing kiss. Upon breaking apart, they take the dishes back in the house and set them in the sink.

This time it's Elena who takes his hand and leads him into their bedroom. She slumps her shoulders, letting her robe fall to the floor and then crawls into bed. Damon drops his jeans and shirt, leaving him only in his boxers and then crawls in bed beside her. Opening his arms, he invites her to take her rightful place in his embrace. Never one to turn down such an offer, Elena scoots over and lets him encircle her. That's how they fall asleep, safely wrapped in each other's arms.

* * *

When she wakes up the next morning, she is a little confused at first.. until she feels the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest against her spread palm. He's still asleep so Elena takes the moment to just revel in the fact that he's here with her. Maybe he really has stopped running? That's what she hopes for, it's what she wants but she needs more than one night from him. Yet he did promise her solemnly that he wasn't going to leave her again.

With her mind deep in thought, she isn't aware when he wakes. His eyes are on her face and it's easy to see that she's trying to work things out inside of her mind. It isn't rocket science to believe she's a little wary of him. Not that he can blame her, he's given her more than enough reasons not to trust him. All he can do is earn it back, one hour at a time, one day at a time. Unable to hold back any longer he places his mouth against the soft skin of her forehead, grazing it with a wispy kiss.

"You're awake," she says, tracing her patterns with her fingertip along the firmly sculpted planes of his chest.

"I was admiring the beautiful woman in my arms who has an incredible capacity for forgiveness. I love you Elena and I intend to spend every day for the rest of my life showing you just how much you mean to me. We can't get the last three years back but we can make each of the following years incredible."

"I love you too, Damon. What are you going to do with the papers I signed?"

"You know how you shredded the ones I signed? Well... I did the same with the ones you signed. I don't want a divorce, Elena. I never wanted one, it's just that I thought that you deserved better than me. Then your dad showed up to ask me if I cheated on you. He made me realize that I'm not a bad guy, damaged yes, bad no."

"I don't want one either. I need to call Caroline and ask if she'll teach this morning's class for another day. We usually have only half days on Saturday. I don't want to leave you, Damon."

"I don't want you to leave but you have my word that I'll be here when you get back if you really want to go."

"I'll see what she says and you should probably call your mom."

"Let's get up then. I'll make you breakfast." After giving her a peck to the tip of her nose, he gets out of bed and ambles into the bathroom to shower and dress for the day.

* * *

Sometime later after they each make a few phone calls and together they talk to his mother, making plans for her to come next weekend to see them, she finds Damon in his study. His chair is reclined, his hands are tented and he's staring outside through the window.

"I didn't change anything," she says, walking into the room.

"I can see that. I was just trying to remember the person I used to be, the one that enjoyed spending time in this room. Wanting her close, he stretches out his arm, curving his finger for her to come closer. She walks around to his side of the desk and leans up against it. Looking at the walls, he sees the picture of himself at the police academy, another of his graduation day. There are medals and commendations from his time in ROTC while he was in high school. His diplomas are framed prominently but most notably is their wedding picture framed and mounted above the bookshelf.

Elena takes his hand in her own and gives it a comforting squeeze. "They are all still you, Damon. But if you don't want them on display, you can take them down."

He nods, "I know. I would never throw them away, maybe just put them in a drawer or a closet until I can look at them again without.." he says, his voice trailing off at the end.

"Damon, we all carry our own burdens."

Blowing out a breath of air, he pulls her onto his lap. "What happened with Jeremy?"

Elena is silent for a minute and Damon's just opening his mouth to tell her they don't need to get into it now when she starts talking.

"It was the time _the_ case started to spiral. Jer was being secretive and jumpy, he hardly visited our parents or even us. Then I remember one day in particular.. he showed up at our house and he looked awful, scared and unhealthy..."

 _"What's going on Jeremy?" she asks, concern etched all over her face._

 _"I'm in trouble. I owe some bad people a lot of money. Because I have no resources to pay them back, I have to sell the junk. Please Elena, you can't tell Damon," he begs. "He's a cop and if the police get involved, they'll kill me and him too, either that or he'd go to prison. You have to promise that you won't tell him."_

 _"Jeremy, maybe he can help you?"_

 _"No, he can't. I don't want to die, Elena," he pleads. She can see his blood shot eyes and his tremulous hands. She's frightened for him, frightened for her husband and because of that, she promises that for now, she'll keep his secret._

"The next time I saw him, he admitted to using as well...," she says, shaking her head. Damon can see how difficult it is for Elena to talk about so he pulls her more firmly against his chest. Promising to never let her go, he stands up.

"What are you doing?" Elena's eyes widen when he lifts her but he doesn't answer and she can see herself where he's taking her. He lays her down on the bed then hesitates for a few seconds before crawling after her. Once they're comfortable and she's curled up against him, she starts to talk again.

"I wanted to tell you when I realized he couldn't make it on his own. As much as I wanted to I didn't have any way to keep him safe and protected. But you and me, we... hardly talked, the case was killing you and I couldn't add to the weight you were already carrying," she explains, reaching up to wipe the tears that are beginning to form.

"Jeremy... he reassured me time and time again that he had everything under control and that he would be free soon. I gave him some money thinking that it would help him but it was a futile gesture, he could never break free. I thought that he had gotten himself out and was just trying to keep a low profile when he disappeared. During those months... you were awaiting trial, Galen Vaughn had already taken everything from you, from us..."

She falls silent for a minute and Damon feels a tremor running through her. With the sun setting, the room is now awash in darkness so he can't see her but the way her body is trembling, he knows she's crying. When she finally finds her voice, it's broken and hoarse.

"Some time after you went to prison, we reported him missing when it became apparent that he wasn't coming home. He stopped calling, his apartment was emptied out. Enzo helped but the police didn't seem too concerned, not at first anyway. He was of age, if he wanted to disappear, he had a right to do so. They did put his picture and a description of his car on the wire but we never even got one call about him. Several months passed before they found skeletal remains in an old abandoned house. The house was falling apart, he was exposed to the elements and to animals..," she whispers, her voice breaking up. Damon runs his hands gently down her back while she tries to compose herself. When she can speak again, she takes a deep shuddering breath.

"He was identified with dental records. Because there was no tissue left, they couldn't determine a cause of death. But there was drug paraphernalia at the scene so the theory is that he either overdosed on his own or someone overdosed him. We'll never know." Her body is full on shaking now as her tears fall in streams down her cheeks.

Damon brings her body even closer, trying to comfort her in the best way he can. "I'm so, so sorry," he whispers, his lips against the crown of her head. In his own mind, he's thinking, _Jeremy's another victim of his own indifference and absent mindedness. He should have seen it, done something to prevent it, taken care of his family but he was distracted by Galen Vaughn's capacity for evil and his own near descent into madness._

"Don't you dare try to blame yourself for this, Damon. You didn't do this. Jeremy had a choice to make and he chose poorly. But I should have told you, asked you for help,"she gives another sob. "He might have survived if I had."

When she finishes, he holds her close, rubbing her back and caressing her hair, occasionally her forehead with a kiss. No more words are spoken. With all the emotional upheaval of the last twenty four hours, she should be asleep but she's not. She wonders if Damon might be awake too, although he did stop tracing pictures on the back of her hand a while ago. He's still holding her close though and she doesn't think his grip loosened.

She knows there are things he must say too, she won't press him, not yet. He'll talk when he's ready but she hopes that he will give her the same courtesy and share his secrets with her just as she opened up about her brother. Looking up at him, his eyes are closed, his breathing is even. Feeling safe and warm and loved in his arms, the only thought that comes to mind is, _God she missed him..._

* * *

After clearing a little more time off with Ric, Damon leads Elena to their car in the early morning hours. It's barely day break but it's a six hour drive so he wanted an early start. He's taking her to Carlsbad Caverns. Approximately 250 million years ago, the area surrounding Carlsbad Caverns National Park served as the coastline for an inland sea. Present in the sea was a plethora of marine life, whose remains formed a reef. Unlike modern reef growths, the Permian reef contained bryozoans, sponges and other microorganisms. After the Permian Period, most of the water evaporated and the reef was buried by evaporites and other sediments. Tectonic movement occurred during the late Cenozoic, uplifting the reef above ground. Susceptible to erosion, water sculpted the Guadalupe Mountain region into its present-day state.

A young boy named Jim White explored the cavern with his homemade wire ladder. He named many of the cave's room including the Big Room, New Mexico Room, King's Room, Queen's Chamber among others. He also named many of the cave's more prominent formations including The Totem Pole, The Witch's Finger, The Giant Dome, The Bottomless Pit and Fairyland. There are many others.

Until 1932, visitors to the cavern had to walk down a switchback ramp that took them 750 feet below the surface. The walk back up was tiring for some. In 1932 the national park opened up a large visitor center building that contained two elevators that would take visitors in and out of the caverns below.

Damon worked at the cave during the summer between his junior and senior years and the start of his first year of college. Because he made many friends there, many of them year around employees, he's taken Elena there before. When he tells her where he's taking her, she lights up like a firefly. By the time they reach the place after stopping for lunch, it's almost noon. Taking her hand, they pay their fee then walk into the visitor center.

They look through the exhibits and then decide to go into the auditorium to watch the movie, "Hidden World". When that's done, they go back to the car to put on their hoodies and then go back to take the cave tour. They see the big room and all the other attractions in the cave. By the time it's sunset, they make their way to the amphitheater to watch the nightly exodus of the Brazilian free-tailed bats.

While they're waiting, Damon stands up to give his friend Sheila a big hug. She was a mother hen to him when he worked here all those years ago. Despite everything that went wrong in his life in the last couple of years, he could always count on a letter from her every so often.

"Sheila, you remember my wife, Elena?"

"Of course, dear. How are you?"

"We're working on it. Today is a time out," Elena says, her eyes drifting from the woman to Damon. He knows they have much left to talk about but he's happy that her smile reaches her eyes.

"I'm glad to hear that. How is our mom, Damon?"

"She's good. Bonnie is pregnant again."

"That is wonderful news. I may have to make the drive to Santa Fe one of these days to see you all."

"I would love that Sheila."

"I have to go, I work in the gift shop now. You stop in to say goodbye before you go home. I'll give you a deal on a couple of tee shirts," she adds with a wink before ascending the stairs, disappearing with a wave when she reaches the top of them. Sitting back down, Damon pulls her close. It feels so good to hold her in his arms and to enjoy each others company. He brushes his lips to her temple just as the bats begin swirling out of the cave's entrance.

* * *

The next weekend, Damon is back at work for the Sunday afternoon and evening shift. At Ric's behest, he came in early. How could he refuse when Ric has been nothing but supportive of him, even going so far as to believe Elena was the bad guy in their relationship? With a hand vacuum, he cleans off the top of the pool tables and then grabs the Windex to wipe the mirrors and other things. When he's done, he puts everything away. He takes a seat at the bar to have a cup of coffee before he heads to the kitchen to get ready for the supper crowd.

"How are things, Damon? I mean, you haven't been at the apartment for several days now. Are you going to move back home?" Just as Damon starts to speak, he feels a hand on his shoulder, smiling tightly when he sees Enzo taking the seat beside him.

"Everything okay? I mean she's one scary lady when she wants to be," Enzo remarks, tipping the beer mug that Ric hands him to his lips.

"Look guys, I'm truly grateful for your concern. But I can assure you that she and I are going to be alright. When the bar closes tonight, I'm going home to Elena."

Although happy for his good friend, Ric is also a little melancholic at the thought of Damon moving out. "Do you mind if I ask about your plans going forward? Do you still want to work here?"

"Yes, Ric, I do. I enjoy working here, quite a lot actually. So if you'll have me, I want to keep my job."

"Of course, you can still work here. I'll just miss having you around," Ric admits, sliding a cup of coffee over to Damon. If he weren't on the clock, he'd have a beer with his friends. After he finishes his coffee, he excuses himself to go to the kitchen with a little skip in his step that had gone missing for far too long.

* * *

By the time he finishes helping Ric clean up the place, it's almost two in the morning. As quietly as he can he tip toes into their bedroom and straight to the bathroom. He doesn't bother showering tonight cause he's tired, instead, he just crawls in next to his wife. She startles him when she opens her big brown eyes. Damon extends his arm silently urging her to scooch over and snuggle in next to him.

"What are you still doing up?" he asks, brushing a kiss to her forehead as soon as she burrows in against his chest. "Don't you have classes in the morning?"

"I do but I took a nap this afternoon. And I guess I was a little worried that you might decide to stay with Ric."

Although the topic is uncomfortable, he believes that it's time to start releasing his demons, one by one. After pulling her even closer, he caresses her back with his palm.

"Oh, Elena, I'm sorry for putting so many doubts in your head. I love you so very much. It's time," he says softly. He drops one more kiss to the crown of her head and then the flood gates open, "There was this young man named Luka..."

* * *

 _Still a little more to come._

 _Huge, huge thanks to all of you. Words seem to fail me. I cannot express in strong enough terms how much your friendship, support and always kind words mean to me._

 _And you Eva. Thank you so much, You mean the world to me, I love you dearly sister_

 _Chapter title: 'Don't Pray for Me' by Little Angels._

 _My good friend Vamphony wrote a Happy Birthday one shot for Bonnie. It's called "Apologize", I was given the honor of beta reading it for her._

 _I did post the ICEM Halloween one-shot yesterday. It's called 'Trick or Treat'._

 _I hope you all have a terrific day. Thank you all again._


	17. Send Me An Angel

Laying comfortably in her husband's arms, Elena finds herself having a difficult time falling to sleep. The rhythmic sounds of his breathing, the rise and fall of his chest indicates to her that he has long since fallen asleep. Raising her eyes, she's taken by how peaceful he appears. It's like all the worry and pain he's been carrying around for the last several years have simply vanished. She swallows thickly, becoming emotional again herself, he's home, finally.

She hates that he pulled away from her but when he went into every minute, viscerally painful experience: Galen Vaughn, seeing the life drain from little Faye's eyes, Rocco, the prison beatings, the grotesque crime scenes and the story of his young friend, Luka. Her heart broke at how deeply he became trapped in a pit of self-loathing and despair, almost like quicksand, its tendrils wrapping around his legs, pulling him away from her. But when she looks at him now, in this moment, his forehead is smooth, his muscles are relaxed and she is in his arms.

For the first time in a very, very long time, she actually feels confident in what the future may hold for them. As her mind drifts to what he told her about his friend, her heart breaks for him. Even though that was a very painful time for both her and Damon, she would turn back time in a heartbeat if it were possible to allow him to save the young man. Damon didn't want to describe what he saw when he found the boy's body but he needed to get it out. It's no wonder that his subconscious has gnawed at him for so very long.

When Damon shifts in bed, she looks at his face again. With the lightest touch, she brushes her knuckles over the rough textured stubble on his face. Burying her own in the crook of his arm, she is about to drift off herself when she hears him whisper the name Charlotte. There's nothing pleasurable, his voice sounds anguished. Opening her eyes, it's easy for her to see that he is still haunted by many things. She trusts Damon, he promised that there's never been anyone else.

Elena knows that whoever the woman is, she isn't someone that Elena needs to be jealous of. However she can't help but wonder who she is and why she has the power to hurt him. Vowing to not let the bad stuff win, she very wispily laces her hands into his hair. Using her fingernails, she massages his scalp till the bad stuff washes away, leaving Damon with a serene look on his face. Satisfied, she wraps her arm around his middle, presses her cheek against his chest. When she's finally comfortable, sleep washes her out to sea. The light lapping of the waves carries her into the land of hope and dreams.

* * *

With her hand firmly linked with his, Damon and Elena follow their lawyer into Judge Gors chambers. It's a large office with a big mahogany desk, volume upon volume of law books and journals perfectly arranged on the one of the many bookshelves. The walls are an eggshell color with his high school and law school diplomas as well as the Judgeship being conferred on him in a photo.

There are several folding chairs set up so they take a seat beside their attorney Wes Maxfield. Looking around the room, Elena smiles when she sees Dr. Mikaelson walk in. It's not just him, there's a couple of other people that she doesn't recognize. One man dressed in a police uniform follows Mason Lockwood into the hearing. Although she has no idea why he's here, she hopes that maybe it's for Damon?

Once they're all seated, the Judge walks in and goes directly to his desk. After telling everyone to sit down, he asks for the prosecutor to present his case. In a move that surprises her, he first asks the taxi driver, Matt Donovan, he gives as his name to testify. She listens with rapt attention as he explains to the Judge that he thought that she seemed off, almost incoherent in his opinion. He says that when he would look at her through the rearview mirror that she seemed to be talking to herself, her hands sat firmly on her lap. Although it was voiceless, he said that he could see her lips moving as if she was in conversation. Once Matt is cross examined by Mr. Maxfield, he's excused but rather than leave the room, he takes a seat, giving Elena a slight nod when his eyes meet hers.

The cop who shot her, DJ Tanner, takes the stand next. He says that she looked like she was in another world and that she seemed to have no comprehension of what she was doing. He admits that he's not psychiatrist and is not capable of making that judgement, the only thing he can go by are his years of experience dealing with mentally ill people while in the commission of his job. Regretfully, he says that he fired at the same time she relaxed her hand, letting the gun fall to the floor.

"She had a crazed look in her eyes. Not once did she aim the gun at anyone, she just shot at random with the barrel pointing up or down, never at any of the people. She could have committed a massacre," he adds, his eyes drifting from the Judge to the prosecutor and finally to Mason.

Lastly Elijah is called to the stand to testify about her mental health when she arrived and how much progress she made during her couple months stay at his facility. Elijah goes onto explain that he believes that her goal when she walked into that courthouse was suicide by police officer. With Elena's nod, he reveals what went down between his client, Elena and her husband that led to her breakdown.

"Her husband told her that unless she had experience with prison that she couldn't comprehend, couldn't begin to understand what he went through so she decided that she was either going to die in that courthouse or have herself sent to prison so that her husband couldn't say that about her anymore."

He goes onto say that in his professional opinion he believes Elena was insane at the time of the incident but now after much work, she now knows who she is and is extremely grateful that she didn't harm anyone when she was ill.

The Judge calls a recess while he looks over the evidence. With instructions to meet back in his chambers in an hour, the group leaves the room. After thanking Matt and Officer Tanner, they go across the street to eat at the little cafeteria. The hour passes slowly with Elena looking up at the clock frequently. Although she doesn't want to go to jail, she can't bear the thought of leaving Damon again, she knows that it will have been caused by her own actions. She needs to take responsibility for them whether that means prison or freedom.

Once they're back in the Judge's chambers, he comes out and speaks directly to Elena. When all is said and done, he finds her innocent by reason of temporary insanity. However, because she brought a gun into a Federal building, he orders her to do two hundred and fifty hours of community service in lieu of prison time. So grateful that both word and sound escape her, she hugs Damon and then runs up to shake the Judge's hand, thanking him profusely and promising that she won't ever do something like that again.

He does caution her that should it happen again, he will not go so easily on her and if she fails to complete her mandated sentence, he will put her in jail for a minimum of six months. Nodding animatedly, she thanks him again and then walks into Damon's arms. He holds her tight against his chest, his arms around her middle. He brushes his lips to the crown of her head. After thanking everyone, they leave the courtroom. Walking down the marble staircase that leads to the parking lot, Elena catches up with Dr. Mikaelson.

After introducing him to her husband, Elijah offers his hand which Damon shakes vigorously thanking him for helping his wife and for helping them to find their way back to each other. They make plans to keep in touch and after watching him drive away, Damon links their hands together and side by side, they walk to their car. When they reach it, he wraps her in his arms and drops his mouth to hers, kissing her with such gusto that it weakens her knees.

It feels so good to hold her like this, he thinks. Threading his fingers through her hair, he cups the back of her head, tilting her face so he can deepen the kiss. They part after they hear a wolf whistle from a passing car. Walking her around to the passenger side, he opens the door, letting her slide in. He gives her a wink and then skirts the hood, jumps behind the wheel and drives them away from there to continue to their private celebration at home.

* * *

When they get home, Damon grabs her hand and sprints into the house with her. It's been much too long, he can't wait anymore. As soon as he slams the door closed, he lifts her onto the kitchen counter. Their eyes meet, fireworks explode, rockets red glare erupt and in the next second, his mouth is on hers. He kisses her with abandon, plundering her mouth with his tongue. He can feel her hands at his waist undoing his belt and then the button before slipping her hand inside and running her palm up and down his now rigid length. Groaning, he drops his face into the soft spot between her neck and shoulders.

"Feels so good," he mumbles.

As soon as he starts to fuck her hand, they hear the front door open and Caroline's shrill voice yelling aloud. Before he can even begin to tuck himself back in, she barging into the kitchen. Gifted with an eyeful of Damon, she rolls her eyes and backs out of the room leaving Damon and Elena to break out in hysterical laughter. Lifting her down from the countertop, he gives her a kiss. Looking outside through the kitchen window, he sees his mother's car pulling up followed by her parents while Enzo, Bonnie and Noelle are walking up the sidewalk. Taking her hand, they go into their living room where Caroline is standing with the door open already telling Bonnie what she walked in on.

Embracing his mom in a hug, she rubs her hands up and down his back telling him that she's so happy that he finally got his shit together. They part when Damon feels a tug on his pants. He smiles when he sees Noelle so he picks her up and puts her around his neck, giving her a horsey back ride. She giggles so hard that it makes Damon's heart soar. Not long after the celebration is underway, Ric and Jenna show up. Shaking his hand strongly, Damon thanks him so much for coming then introduces the two of them to their families and Elena to Jenna.

Before long, the women are in the kitchen chatting away while Damon, Enzo, Ric and Grayson retreat to the backyard with beers in hand. Their guests stay late. After they grilled burgers and hotdogs and threw together some potato salad, everyone has a wonderful time. When the time comes for everyone to leave, Damon and Elena walk their guests outside. Damon hugs his mom, Janie is staying overnight at Bonnie's but she promises she'll stop back in the morning before she drives back to Albuquerque.

"Thanks for coming, mom," Damon says, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as he walks her to her car.

"I love you, son. I'm so happy that things are finally coming together. Please don't take her for granted again. You may not get a third chance," she cautions, looking at him seriously.

"I learned my lesson mom. I love her and I never intend to let her doubt that ever again."

"That's my boy," Janie says, giving him another hug. He opens the car door. Once her seatbelt is secure, he pushes it closed and watches her pull out of the driveway and disappear down the street, Bonnie and Enzo following behind. As always, Caroline is the last to leave. She winks at him before she drives off laughing when he waves back. Throwing his arm around Elena's neck, he leads her into the house whispering something about picking up where they left off.

* * *

This time Damon makes sure all of their doors are locked. He stalks up to her, cradles her face with his hands and joins their mouths in a heated kiss. As soon as they part, he lifts her into his arms. With her legs anchoring around his middle, he grips her tight little behind in his palms. He carries her up the stairs and as soon as they reach the bedroom, he sits on the edge of the bed. With her mouth smashed against his, she plunders his with her tongue. His hands find her hips as she kisses him even harder. Damon groans as she grinds her hips against his. His hands trial down to the edge of her dress and he pushes it out of the way. Needing her desperately, he drops her onto the bed and then covers the length of her body with his which allows her to feel his growing ache for her.

He pushes her dress up to her hips and pulls her panties down. Her hands go for his jeans. With shaky fingers, she pulls the zipper down and wraps her tiny hand around him again. She grips him hard and tight causing him to hiss loudly. As she begins to move it up and down, he covers hers with his own, groaning at the exquisite feel of her touching him, holding him, stroking him.

"It's been me and a bar of soap for a very long time sweetheart. You're playing with fire."

With a smirk to match his own, she pushes her hips forward, guiding him to her entrance until just the tip pushes in. He shudders as chill bumps and desire rocket through him. Lifting her head slightly, she places her lips at his ear whispering, "Then burn me." His eyes change to a deep cobalt as he takes her lips in a ferocious kiss. With her nod he grabs her bare ass, entering her balls deep in one swift move. Elena moans as his thick, silky length moves in and out of her. They fit together as perfectly as they always did. It feels so incredibly powerful to be with her like this again. Her tiny mewling noises go straight to cock which makes him drive into her that much harder.

Elena laces her fingers in his hair and pulls hard. She kisses his lips with desperation almost as if she has to prove to herself that he's really here with her. Damon is drowning, he can't breathe, the feel of her inner walls gripping him harder with each surge inside of her delectable body is incredible. "Damon, I need," she gasps.

"I know baby." They continue to move in tandem, each snap of his hips bringing him that much closer to ecstasy. He feels her clenching her muscles around him but he wants her to go first. After a couple of more punishing thrusts, they're both starting to climb. Damon pulls her tighter against him. He starts pounding into her as hard as his body will allow.

Changing the angle a little, he bumps her engorged bundle with each surging push inside of her. He snakes his hand down her lithe body, reaching for the point where they're connected. As soon as he feels her clit, he begins to rub her furiously. He groans in pleasure when she throws her head back and grinds her hips on him even harder. With the next thrust her body begins to convulse so hard that she pulls him right along with her, his release coating her insides with such force that he literally cannot move.

Still connected, she runs her fingers through the short damp hairs at the back of his head. Their sweat slicked bodies begin to cool from the light breeze of the ceiling fan. Since it has been years since they've been together, she holds him tight against her, his head laying over her heart and that's how they fall asleep, their two hearts beating together as one.

* * *

"How was it?" Caroline sing songs as soon as she finishes her first lesson of the day. Wiping the sweat off of her brow with a clean towel, Elena can't help but smile. Caroline gives her a playful elbow to the ribs and with a twinkle in her eyes prods her even more. "So he still has all the moves?"

"Caroline!?"

"Oh don't act so scandalized. You know we always share everything."

"I know but..." Feeling her cheeks heat up, she nods vigorously. "Yes, he is still quite gifted in the bedroom. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to get a drink of water before my next class."

Smiling, Caroline watches her walk away. When she hears the little bell above the door ring, she steps out to the desk. "Can I help you?" Caroline asks, smiling at the woman.

"Yes, I'm here to see Mrs. Salvatore."

"Is there anything that I can help you with, she's about to start a class?"

"No, please it's very important that I speak to her."

"Alright, I'll be right back," Caroline tells her and then hurries into Elena's office. "There's a woman out here to see you Elena. She looks like she's in her late 30's or so. I offered to help her but she insists on speaking to you."

Elena has no idea who it could be. Because of Mrs. Lockwood, she's always a little wary but she's determined that she's not going to let people like her pull her down anymore. Stepping out from around the corner, Elena walks over to her. "May I help you?" she asks, knowing immediately who she is as soon as the woman turns to face her...

 _Charlotte._

The woman wets her lips, considering how to begin this conversation. "Mrs. Salvatore, I'm not sure if you remember me..."

"I remember you from the trial, Mrs. Jones. Your family, your daughter was _his_ last murder victim.." Feeling protective of Damon, Elena adds, "but my husband was a victim too, Mrs. Jones. Every night it's a struggle for him to sleep. He nearly lost his mind."

Looking aside as if trying to figure out how to continue, Charlotte then offers, "I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here. Let me say this first. I mean you no ill will with my presence, Mrs. Salvatore. I really have no right to be here I know that but I came to ask you to thank your husband for saving my son's lives. I want him to know that I don't blame him for Faye's death. I have had the last three years to think about all of it. My boys, Jimmy and Michael have talked about that day. I don't believe that your husband could have done anything to prevent her..," she stutters a little. Elena watches her swallow thickly as she tries to compose herself. She is certain that it must be difficult to talk about her young daughter's horrific murder. Determined to continue, Charlotte takes the hand that Elena offers.

"I could have lost all three of them that day. I would have if it wasn't for him. I feel horrible that he lost his freedom because of it."

Stunned, Elena wants to beat her chest with happiness but at the same time she feels sorrow and grief for all the victims of Galen Vaughn, including Damon. As much as she'd love to hug the woman, she holds back. With her own tears now thick in her throat, she replies sincerely, "Thank you, Mrs. Jones, you have no idea what this will mean to him."

* * *

 _One chapter left..._

 _Huge thanks to all of you for your absolutely amazing reviews, follows and favorites too. I'm so honored to be able to call so many of you my friends._ _You're all the BEST._

 _Huge thanks to Eva. This story was really her baby. She had everything planned out for a long time before we even put pen to paper as it were. She and I are a team, we write the stories together._

 _Chapter title: 'Send Me An Angel' by the Scorpions._

 _This is the synopsis for "Eyes Without a Face", watch for it to post soon. "A soul mate is not found. A soul mate is recognized."_

 _I hope you all have a safe and fantastic day. Thank you again so very much._


	18. Better In Time

One Year Later:

Damon pulls into the business and parks his vehicle. Stepping out of the car, he waits for Jimmy and Michael to get out too. The turns life takes are sometimes overwhelming, sometimes painful and sometimes they bring you back to life. Never did Damon imagine that the face that has given him many sleepless nights would turn into someone that he never knew he needed till she was there.

Charlotte's husband died in an industrial accident when Faye was three. Michael and Jimmy were five and seven at the time of the incident. When Charlotte came to Elena and then to Damon himself, she told him that her boys were having a hard time of things. Discipline was hard and they weren't listening to her. His own self confidence took a beating after Galen Vaughn, one of many things that monster destroyed when he embarked on his killing spree. It was Charlotte who asked if he could possibly talk to the boys.

 _Busy bartending because Ric is out with Jenna, Damon's mouth literally drops open when he sees her walking towards him. She takes a seat, her gaze drifting to his. Swallowing thickly, Damon says in an uncharacteristically unsteady voice._

 _"Mrs. Jones?.. How can I help you?"_

 _"I would like a glass of red beer." Smiling a little nervously herself, she adds, "Make it mostly tomato juice though. I'm driving."_

 _Nodding, Damon mixes it up and slides it over to her. Her hand brushes his and almost as if it stung, Damon pulls back._

 _"I understand your wariness, Damon, may I call you that?" When he says yes softly, she continues, "I just came from seeing your wife. She's a lovely person, you're very lucky."_

 _"I am, I married up as they say," he agrees, taking a long pull from his water bottle._

 _"Your wife and I... we talked. She told me where I could find you. I came to apologize to you. I know what happened that day wasn't your fault. You were made the scapegoat and are as much of a victim as the rest of us."_

 _When Damon tries to interrupt, she stops him. "Please.., Damon, let me finish. I'm ashamed to say that it took me a long time to work up the nerve to come here. I didn't know you were out of prison, I happened to see an ad for your wife's business in the newspaper. I'm sorry for my part in your incarceration. I was so overwhelmed, frozen really, with grief that I couldn't be a mother to my sons. I sent them to live with my parents for several months till I could get my act together. What I really came here to do was to thank you for saving my boys," she says, pausing to dab at her eyes with a napkin. When she looks up again, sincerity is brimming in her eyes._

 _"So you see, we're all his victims. We have to end the hold he has on all of us."_

 _"But how do we do that?" Damon asks, relaxing his posture. After he waits on another couple that take seats at the opposite end of the bar, he goes back to her._

 _"I have an idea and I hope you'll be amenable to it," she mentions. Damon can hear the anxiety in her voice more prominently now. When he nods at her subtly, she takes a swallow of her drink then smiles tightly._

 _"My boys don't have a father. He died a few years ago, before the nightmare. I wanted to ask you if you would consider spending some quality time with them. I don't know, maybe take them to a movie or a ballgame, anything. Things that a man should do with boys. If you don't want to, I understand completely but I'm hoping that at least you'll give it some consideration.."_

 _"Yes of course, I'll speak to my wife about it. Can you give me your phone number so I can get back to you with my decision?"_

 _"Yes, yes," she says, hastily writing it down on a piece of paper that Damon gives her. When she finishes her drink, she thanks him and departs. He doesn't take his eyes from her till she passes the front window and is gone from his sight._

Damon couldn't say yes or no at first but after talking it over with Ric and mentioning it to Elijah when he showed up at Ric's place one day, he decided to meet the two boys. He's become something of a big brother to them. At first he was nervous as hell but he was astounded how quickly he grew to love the two. During the school year, he would take them on Saturday mornings and if Ric was feeling generous, he would take them to an evening baseball game.

One weekend they drove down to Carlsbad Caverns so he could introduce them to Sheila. She bought the boys each a tee shirt and took them on a private tour into the depths of the cave. For an older lady, she's more spry than he is. He and Elena have come to care about this family deeply.

Walking up to their destination, Jimmy screams excitedly to see the balloon laid flat and stretched out on as much land as possible. Approaching the proprietor of Santa Fe Balloons, Damon shakes his hand, introducing him to the boys.

"I'm glad you could all make it," Gus says, shaking the boys' hands after releasing Damon's.

"We get to go up in that?" Jimmy asks, a big smile forming on his face.

"You do. Now if you'll all stand back, I'm going to get it fired up." He gives Damon a nod then hooks the inflator fan to the neck and the balloon begins to fill with air. The basket is then attached to the envelope and the burner secured in place. With the balloon now half full of air the burner can be fired up and the rest of the envelope fills up in no time. The basket is constantly secured to the floor throughout this whole process, to make sure that the balloon doesn't just take off without all the passengers.

Once the envelope is full, Gus gives them the okay to get into the basket. When all the weight is fully balanced out the balloon is unsecured from the ropes holding it to the floor and the flight gets underway.

It's hard to describe the feeling of flying in the balloon, it's almost like a feeling of weightlessness, _as if you are drifting along, floating on air._ Damon is in awe of the spectacular scenery from this altitude. It's a clear day and they can see for miles in every direction. The boys are literally mesmerized at the view. Damon laughs because it's the first time he's ever known them to be speechless.

Their ride is spectacular. The terrain is beautiful, they see everything from sage covered plains to dried riverbeds to a dip into a gorgeous box canyon. Michael points excitedly when they catch a glimpse of a coyote scaling up a ridge. Their hot air balloon flight lasts for about an hour in total before Gus starts to look for a safe place to bring the balloon in to land.

The landing is actually quite a bumpy affair. Gus brings the balloon down at a very slow rate and actually land it at a 45 degree angle to the floor. This is to help the basket lose speed and come to a halt quicker. The basket ends up on its side with Damon and the boys lying horizontally with their torsos sticking out of the top of the basket. There are side rail supports and ropes to hang on to make sure that they don't fall out.

Once they're all safely out, the envelope would normally need to be deflated but since it's early in the day, others are already waiting for their turns to ride when they disembark. Damon thanks Gus profusely and promises that he will be returning to take his wife on a romantic ride the next time.

"That was a blast," Michael gushes, sliding into the passenger seat. Damon opens the rear door, allowing Jimmy to get in. As soon as the boys are buckled up, Damon puts the car into gear and drives home, waving to Gus through his open window just before they pull onto the highway.

* * *

As soon as he arrives home, he parks the car in the driveway. When she hears the car door, Elena walks outside to greet them. Still excited over their hot air balloon ride, they're telling her all about it. She tells them to go into the kitchen to help themselves to some of her freshly baked sugar cookies. Before the word cookie is out of her mouth, they're already inside. Damon walks up to her, wraps his arms around her burgeoning middle and kisses her fiercely. When he feels the little twitch under his palm, he smiles that big ear to ear grin.

"That's the most amazing feeling," he says softly, keeping his hand flush against her skin hoping to feel it a second time. His patience is rewarded a few seconds later.

Stooping down, he brushes a kiss to that spot and whispers, "Daddy cannot wait to meet you."

Elena drops her eyes, loving her husband so much in this moment. Raising his to hers, he feels his heart about to burst out of his chest. One year ago, he never would have dreamed he could be so indescribably happy with his life.

Standing up, he wraps an arm around her shoulders and leads her into their home. Finding the boys gobbling down cookies, Elena can't help but laugh. She pours them each a glass of milk and then puts the rest of them away for later. While she listens to the boys tell her about the sights and sounds of their balloon ride, Damon goes upstairs to get cleaned up. His mother is coming over later. In the last year, she sold her home in Albuquerque and moved to Santa Fe. Bonnie and Enzo's son Zane is already seven months old. And now with him and Elena expecting their first child, she wanted to be near her children and grandchildren. Neither he nor Bonnie could have been more delighted with her decision.

As soon as he showers and changes into a clean pair of cargo shorts and a tee shirt, he jogs down the stairs. His mother and Charlotte have both arrived. He walks over to kiss his wife and then leaves the ladies to go find the boys. They're in the backyard playing Badmiton. Grabbing a racket himself, he takes one side of the net while Michael and Jimmy take the other side. Damon lobs the birdie over the net, scrambling to hit it back when Michael jumps and hits it back hard at him. Damon leaps, just barely getting it over the net but he isn't able to get to his feet in time to send the next one back. By the time the game is over, the boys are rubbing it in hard that they beat him. Roughing their hair, he tells them to go wash up so they can eat.

Damon grills steaks and vegetables while Elena makes some homemade lemonade. They have pleasant conversation over dinner. His mom is very fond of Charlotte and her sons too. They've taken to calling her Grandma Janie. Charlotte has recently started dating again. Although Damon wants her to be able to find a nice man to settle down with, maybe have another child if she chooses, he does worry about not being able to spend as much time with the boys.

He truly loves them both. Her face no longer keeps him awake at night. At Elena's urging, they went to couple's counseling with Elijah. As much as Damon blamed himself for Faye's death, with help and being able to talk about it with Elijah and Elena and Charlotte separately, he knows that nothing would have stopped Galen once he had her in his arms. He remembers Charlotte telling him that they have to take their lives back and not let that monster continue to have so much power over them. That was profound for Damon.

When everyone is ready to go home for the night, Damon and Elena walk their guests outside, saying goodbye before they drive off. Janie lives just a couple of houses away so they walk her home. He embraces his mother, kissing her on the cheek before saying goodnight. Once she's safely inside, he laces his fingers with Elena's and they walk back to their own place.

Since it's a beautiful night, the sky filled with twinkling stars as far as the eyes can see, they sit down on their porch swing that he bought her for their anniversary a couple of months ago. Spreading his arm across the back, he puts his hand on her shoulder to pull her next to him. He places his other hand on her belly when he feels the kicks against his side.

"I can never get enough of that," he gushes, his smile gleaming in the moon bright evening.

"Me neither," she adds, placing her hand atop his. I can't wait to meet our baby."

"Do you want to know what it is?" he asks, wondering if she's having doubts about waiting till the birth to find out the sex.

"No, I want to be surprised," she reaffirms, laying her head against his shoulder.

"I love you, Elena. I am still in awe of the fact that you chose me. Sometimes I have to believe that I must have done something good in my life to earn your love in return. I can't put into words how deeply my love runs for you. It's like throwing gasoline on an open fire. It burns hot and furious."

"I feel the same way, Damon." Shifting her position and with surprising grace considering her belly, she plops onto his lap. Her mouth drops, plundering his with her tongue when his lips part. Momentarily too shocked to do anything, he lets her have his way with him. After a few seconds pass, his hands find her hips as she kisses him even harder. It isn't just any kiss, it was a bone melting one, dangerous even. He groans aloud when she grinds her hips against his. His hands trail down to the edge of her skirt pushing it upwards. They part suddenly when a car horn sounds and they see a couple of kids giving them a thumb's up. They turn to face each other and break out in laughter, intense and heartfelt.

"I love you, Damon."

His eyes darken again when he brushes a strand of hair behind her ear. With a wink, he picks her up, captures her lips in a searing kiss while walking her over the threshold. When he pulls away with a smacking sound, he brushes his lips against her ear, whispering the words, "I will love you forever," before kicking the door closed with his boot, shutting them off from the outside world.

The End...

* * *

 _Thank you all so much._ _I don't have words enough to truly express how grateful I am, Eva and I are that you embraced this story. I know some of you wanted to stab Damon at times. Thank you for staying with it, for giving him the chance to make things right again. Thank you for loving them, for all of your incredible reviews, the followers, people that favorited it. You're all the best of the DE world._

 _And Eva, I have no words. You're the sister that I got to choose. I love you dearly and would not be here if not for your wide shoulders and incredibly big heart._

 _Chapter title: 'Better in Time' by Leona Lewis._

 _Watch for "Eyes Without a Face". It's coming next. Eva and I have lots of holiday goodies to share once December arrives._

 _Be safe and have a fantastic day. Thank you all again so much. Goodbye to this Damon and Elena..._


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